“Is soup what you truly want from me? Then here.” She proffered me a steaming bowl. “Have some soup.”
I grabbed it and threw it at her face.
She dissolved into hundreds of outraged, croaking toads. One of them hopped onto my head and settled in as if taking up residence.
“Confess your crimes!” the lion roared.
“You again?”
I looked at the window. The sky was a medium gray. Perhaps it wasn’t day or night. What if there was nothing out there at all?
“I have been trying my hardest to convince the king not to execute you. It would be easier to make my case if there wereany semblance of cooperation on your part.” The lion squinted at me. His spectacles had slipped down his muzzle. “Is that a toad on your head?”
“Yes. It was my stepmother. A huntsman spit it on me, and then it turned into a rat.” That had made perfect sense until I said it aloud.
The lion huffed and ignored my ravings. “If you do not reveal your co-conspirators among the so-called huntsmen—”
“What is your problem with them, anyway?” I lurched to the bars, grabbing hold of them to keep myself upright. “Female lions hunt. Lionesses. They hunt more than the males do, don’t they? You should be thrilled. Hurray for the humans, acting more like lions!”
“I am a centuries-old magical talking lion,” he answered. “Not some common savannah trash. And even if I were, it would make no difference. Humans are not supposed to behave like lions. They are supposed to behave like humans. As the guardian of the laws and traditions of this country—”
“Well, see, that’s your problem right there. Centuries-old traditions fall out of date. I woke a princess from an enchanted sleep once, and she used lead paint in her eyeliner and thought arsenic was good for your complexion. Get with the times.”
“I am with the times!” He prowled forward until his face was mere inches from mine, separated from it only by the bars of the cell. “I wrote the book on humans.Thebook.”
“I bet it’s poorly sourced and derivative.”
“CONFESS YOUR CRIMES!” Hot lion breath washed over me as he shouted. Fangs as long as dagger blades were crammed into his mouth.
“I haven’t committed any crimes.” Only my grip on the bars kept me from falling over. I shouldn’t have talked so much. It was tiring. I certainly should never have bothered to argue with him. “I’m the princess of Skalla,” I mumbled at the floor.
“I know,” said Angelique.
I looked up to find her face as close to mine as the lion’s had been. A faint smile curled the edges of her mouth.
“You do?” My voice sounded weak and thready.
“Of course.” She trailed one hand down the bars, almost but not quite touching mine. “Only a true princess has trouble sleeping if a pea is hidden beneath her mattress. And once I found out you were a sorceress, well—everyone knows about the Skallan royal family. It’s the reason you’re here, after all.” There was a sound like a flock of birds fluttering their wings, and suddenly she was standing next to me, dabbing at my wounded cheek with a damp cloth. “I was suspicious from the very beginning, naturally. Why would a mere handmaiden arrive in a magic carriage?”
The cool, wet linen was so soothing I almost moaned. “Are you really here?” I asked.
“Why are you surprised? I have my ways of getting where I want to go.”
“Oh. Your ring of keys. You have one for the dungeon? Then why don’t you let me out, if you know I’m telling the truth?”
She shook her head. “It isn’t that simple. I might believe you, but convincing everyone else is trickier.” Her smile tightened. “It would have been easier when I was regent, even as reluctant as they were to accept my rule. I suppose I have you to thank for my thirty days on the throne.”
“You’re welcome, I guess.”
“I’m doing what I can for you.” She gave my cheek a final delicate wipe and leaned in close. “In the meantime, is there anything that would make you more comfortable?”
“A feather bed?” My thoughts oozed through my head like thick syrup. “A cup of willow bark tea? With honey, if you can manage it. Or how about a bath? I’d love a bath.”
“A bath,” she mused. “Perhaps that could be arranged. Do you need someone to soap your back?”
I blinked. “Are you…are you flirting with me?”
“Certainly not!” the hunter snapped.
