Because of course she had. She’d needed, and wanted, my help, along with Jonquil’s and Calla’s. It was obvious now that I’d given it a moment’s thought. She acted as if she were holding the kingdom together all by herself, but then she sent her children off to find dragons and tooth guards and magical tools. Even my latest misadventure had deposited another magic mirror, obnoxious though it might have been, into her arsenal of enchanted artifacts.
“That is the last thing I could have asked for.” The words came out slowly, as if reluctant to leave her mouth. “A queen cannot ever show weakness.”
“Being terrifying isn’t the same thing as being strong.”
“It is for me.” She fixed me with her gaze. It was as disconcerting as always. “I am not only a queen but a sorceress. I will be seen as terrifying whether I wish it or not. No other path is open to me. So I must be as terrifying as possible, if I am to rule.”
“To rule,” I repeated flatly. “So why were you like that with your daughters, too?”
The slightest of tremors crossed her face, a crack in her façade, like stone splintering. Then it was gone. I’d never noticedhow much effort it took her to steady those dark, carved-basalt features—Jonquil’s face with Calla’s eyes. What had it cost the queen to keep up that front at all times? I knew what it had costme.
“If you couldn’t ask for my help,” I told her, “then you might have tried asking what I wanted. Or showing I could trust you. Or just letting me miss my mom.”
She didn’t answer.
Maybe she wasn’t driven by spitefulness and cruelty. Maybe it was more complicated than that. But whenever I’d pushed against her, the only thing she’d known how to do was push back harder. She could see a thousand thousand futures, and she’d still had no idea what to do with a grieving seven-year-old girl.
I turned on my heel and walked away. “I’m leaving.”
“I haven’t been the worst of mothers,” she called out after me. “I did my best. Have you forgotten our morning teas together? Or how I saved you from that prince?”
Even now, she wouldn’t acknowledge the whole truth of it. “You misremember, my queen. I savedyou.”
“What exactly are you leaving?” she asked, speaking more softly. “The throne room? The palace? Skalla?”
I paused for only a moment. “I don’t know yet.”
When I reached the bronze doors, they had already been wrenched halfway open. On the other side, Sam had Femus in a choke hold with one arm and was fending off Humba’s mighty fists with the other. The ogre froze mid-swing when I stepped forward.
“Are you all right?” Sam asked.
“Fine,” I said. “Is there a problem here?”
“Oh, no,” he reassured me, releasing Femus, who gasped with relief. “Not anymore, at least. They wouldn’t let me in when the palace started shaking. They were very nice about it, but—”
“STANDING ORDERS,” Humba screamed apologetically.“NO ONE IS TO INTERRUPT WHEN THE QUEEN IS IN PRIVATE CONFERENCE.”
Although all three looked rather bruised, there didn’t seem to be any hard feelings; the ogres spent the next few minutes thanking Sam profusely for his tip about whey protein. I suspected they’d rather enjoyed the break in their routine.
It wasn’t until we were halfway down the stairs, well out of earshot of any curious eavesdroppers, that Sam asked, “How did it go?”
“Surprisingly well,” I told him. “I’m not going back to the tower. She and I are both still alive. And…I understand her a little better than I used to, for what it’s worth.”
“Good.”
“Yes, I thought so, too.”
My stepmother wasn’t all-knowing, after all. And far from all-powerful. Which meant that she wasn’t the only person I’d been comparing to an illusion. Suddenly, I had a lot less to live upto.
It was very freeing.
“So,” Sam said, “what happens now?”
I contemplated my answer as we made our slow way to the garden. If I wasn’t obeying the queen’s whims any longer, I could go anywhere. Do anything. If I undertook quests in the future, they would be of my own choosing. And they would not involve trapping lightning in a bottle. That one nearly killed me. I can still taste copper on my tongue during bad storms.
“I might like to travel for a while,” I said. “Visit a few places without any royal commands compelling me.”
“You hate traveling. You complained about the rain the whole way here.”
