“Sometimes you just need to follow the currents.”
Iuse the flight to Boulder to think, staring out at the clouds, lost in the endless expanse of sky. My life has always been in a continuous state of limbo, drifting between duty and expectation, and never once have I paused to consider what I truly wanted. It wasn’t as if I ever had a reason to question it. Until Kai.
He changed everything for me.
Kai’s presence in my life forced me to confront truths I’d buried deep, and for the first time, I saw a future that wasn’t dictated by the demands of others, a future that was mine.
But I’m not naïve. I know they would have forced me to go, regardless of whether I wanted my freedom or not. The blood oath I made bound me tothem, tethering me to their will until they saw fit to release me. It’s an ironclad bond, one that has controlled my fate for nearly two centuries. I can’t escape it, and I can’t deny it. I belong to them for as long as they want me around.
Penn used to say he hated that I was under their control, and that family shouldn’t be bound by such things. But that’s just it—I’m not family. I never was. I was sold to them, my life traded like currency, a mere commodity to be used as they saw fit. I wasn’t born into their world; I was forced into it, shackled by a decision I didn’t make.
I often wonder what my chief saw the day he made the decision to give me away. Was it darkness? Was there some inevitable fate he saw that compelled him to cast me out? The voices I used to hear as a child, those whispers in the night, always assured me that my tribe would never abandon me. But they were wrong.
The moon’s light cuts through the canopy, casting the world below in silver. It’s too bright, too sharp.
I perch in the tree just outside Kai’s house, my claws scraping the coarse bark of my chosen branch. The sensation grounds me, rough and familiar, a steadying presence against the flood of sensory input from the night. Every movement from below—tiny rustles of mice in the underbrush, the flittering of moths—seems magnified.
My mind fights against my instincts. It would be so easy to dive into the hunt, to chase down some small creature and forget for a moment the weight of what’s to come. A loud hoot falls from my beak, and I turn my head to look at the house.
What are you waiting for?The thought drifts in, unbidden. My head turns in that slow, eerie way of owls, eyes focusing on the shadowed outline of Kai’s room.
My claws dig deeper into the bark, and scrape over and over, a physical manifestation of the frustration swirling within. The wind rustles the leaves, pulling at my feathers, and I shift my wings, trying to ease the growing tension. I feel stuck, stuck between worlds—the warrior who needs to get moving and the woman who can’t seem to. I want nothing more than to go in there and curl up next to Kai and forget everything till morning, but I’ve only been given five days. Indecision has a way of paralyzing even the sharpest minds, and tonight, it feels as though time is slipping through my talons like water.
As I close my eyes and let the magic seep into my body, there’s an undeniable rush. The weight of my physical form dissolves, leaving me as something more fluid—mist, air, an ethereal presence that moves without bounds. In this state, I’m free, untethered from the constraints of flesh and bone.
The transition from solid to mist is smooth, effortless. The sensation is exhilarating, almost addictive. The world becomes a blur of shifting shadows and swirling currents, a playground for the senses. Every time I let the magic take over, whether to shift form or take on the shadows, there’s a part of me that savors the way it makes me feel powerful, untouchable, and distant from the burdens of reality.
Yet, lingering beneath that pleasure is the memory of the voices I heard as a child, those ominous warnings about the dangers of indulging too deeply in magic.
But I’ve always managed to control it. Even when I was terrified it would take over, I was always able to draw it back. Though I’ve never fully let go with the dark magic, the one that whispers to me. Its alluring, seductive pull scares me. So, I put a leash in place to keep me safe, sane—almost.
I relinquish the magic, my form taking shape at the foot of the stairs, and then I take a deep breath, stretching my neck from side to side. Quietly, I walk up the stairs and softly open the back door. Kai is fast asleep upstairs, completely unaware of my presence as I navigate through the kitchen and up to the bedroom. Even though he’s a shifter, his lack of alertness is something I never miss an opportunity to tease him about. The guy sleeps like the dead.
My shadows curl around me, tendrils of darkness that move with a life of their own, pulsing with an unsettling energy. They’re a part of me, born from the depths of my magic, but at times, they feel like something other—an extension of my being, yet independent, as if they have a mind of their own. Their uncertainty, their hesitation, mirrors my own, making me irritated at this whole situation.
These silent companions born from the dark magic that courses through my veins sometimes act without my command, responding to emotions I haven’t yet acknowledged.
When I’m calm, they’re gentle, almost soothing in the way they caress my skin, wrapping around me like a protective cloak. But when my emotions flare—anger, fear, despair—they react instinctively, lashing out, defending me even when I don’t want them to. It’s as if they sense the dangers I can’t see, moving to protect me from threats, both real and imagined.
But that’s what unnerves me most about them: their autonomy. The way they can read me, the way they anticipate my needs before I even realize I have them. And sometimes, I wonder if they truly are a part of me, or if they’re something else entirely, something darker, something I can’t control.
Theshadows have saved me more times than I can count, shielding me from attacks, hiding me from prying eyes, and striking down those who dared to threaten me. But their power is a double-edged sword. The more I use them, the more I feel their influence creeping into my thoughts, whispering dark temptations in my ear, urging me to embrace the full extent of my magic, to let go of the restraints I’ve placed on myself.
Slowly, I push open the door and see Kai sprawled out on the bed. Under the faint moonlight coming through the bedroom window, I can make out the gentle rise and fall of his chest. Keeping my steps light, I approach the bed and sit down, my hand reaching out and running through his hair.
His blue eyes snap open and instantly soften as soon as he sees me.
“Baby, that was quick.”
The tender look in his eyes sends a surge of adrenaline through my veins, and I gently caress the lines of his face with my fingertips. “Yeah, I have one more thing to do and I’m free to live my life how I want.”
Kai reaches for my wrist and holds my hand in place as he delicately brushes his lips against my fingers, then gently nuzzles my palm. I want nothing more than to curl up in his arms and forget about this night.
Shit, he makes it so hard to leave.
Kai sighs and extends his hand toward me, but I retreat, tucking the blanket around him. If I give in to his irresistible charm, I’ll end up staying here all night and I can’t afford to waste a single moment.
“Sleep,” I say, allowing my magic to infuse my words.
