"Aw, come on, Thunderstruck—don't be such a buzzkill! I'm already designing the family reunion t-shirts. 'My brother went to Ásgard and all I got was this lousy god complex.'" Lucian dodges the empty blood bag I chuck at his head, cackling like the insufferable dick he is.
"Hold up—my father?" Dani arches an eyebrow, pointing her fork at me like a weapon. "You had a divine daddy-daughter talk without me? That's just rude."
I lean on the island, running a hand through my hair. "Yeah, apparently he fucked up or something. I was supposed to be first pick for this prophecy shit, but then I died—so your father sealed the realms. Then tried for round two with you." Christ, even saying it out loud sounds like a bad movie.
"So you got a vampire upgrade courtesy of psycho-Barbie, and that kept you in the game?" Dani asks between demolishing her steak like it personally offended her.
I nod, "That's what they're saying."
"Did he seem sorry for screwing this up so badly?" Seraphina asks softly, her delicate fingers intertwined with Lucian's.
I think back to that self-righteous prick's attitude. "Fuck if I know. He still eyes our kind like we're something stuck to his golden shoe, but yeah—this shit definitely threw a wrench in their perfect sacred plan."
Seraphina's expression falls, that celestial glow dimming like a cloud passing over the sun. I know that haunted look—she's replaying her angelic demotion for doing exactly what a guardian angel should: protecting her charge. Even if it meant saving Dani from my dumbass brother's memory-wiped shenanigans.
"Nuh-uh, Angel Cake, don't you dare go there," Lucian squeezes her hand, his trademark smirk softening. "That celestial dick-wad lost the best guardian angel in the business. His cosmic fuck-up is my jackpot, baby."
A small smile graces Seraphina's lips, but I can still see the shadow of hurt in her eyes. Getting kicked out of her home tends to leave a mark, even on the strongest angels.
"But if you died, how would we have even found each other? I mean, the prophecy says a mate has to awaken my powers and shit. And you're, like, ancient as hell," Dani asks between bites, her analytical mind kicks into high gear. The same fucking question I grilled her father about.
"That's when this shit gets even more complicated."
Dani turns to me, eyebrow raised. "Okaaay...."
"Their original plan," I growl, running a hand down my face. "Already picked out some mate for me—another of Elysium's bloodline. But she didn't measure up to their sanctified standards, so they dumped her ass in Ásgard. Odin's been playing guardian ever since."
Dani's eyes go wide. "Wait—you're telling me I have—"
"A half-sister? Yes." I confirm. "She's a Valkyrie now. Your Father says she didn't have your fire, your power."
Seraphina gasps, "Oh my god. I remember whispers about this centuries ago, but it was never confirmed."
"Wait, wait, wait—" Lucian throws his hands up. "Are you telling me there's a backup baby Jesus running around Ásgard with wings and a sword? Holy shit, it's like finding out Nick Fury's got a secret superhero stashed away! Man, the Avengers ain't got nothing on this family drama!"
Dani groans into her hands. "How is this my life right now?"
"Oh! Oh!" Lucian bounces in his seat. "I've got it—it's like celestial reality TV! 'Keeping Up With The Divines!' One sister gets the brooding vampire-Thor hybrid, and the other becomes Captain Valkyrie as a consolation prize. Quick, someone call Netflix, this shit writes itself!"
I shoot him a look that promises violence, but my brother just grins wider. Asshole never knows when to shut his mouth.
"And this Soul Stone," Emily cuts in, pouring shots like she's arming for war, "is basically your mom's power recycled?" She snorts. "—and I thought my family reunions were fucked up. Drinks are mandatory for this level of dysfunction, people."
"Not recycled," I grumble, running a hand through my hair. "This is pure darkness—the real fucking deal." I break down Odin's story about my parents tag-teaming Moretemis before Mom went full dark side. "I've tasted that power firsthand." The nightmare's memories flash behind my eyes. "And trust me, that shit's not some parlor trick—it's nuclear—it'll eat your soul if you let it."
"Speaking of nuclear..." Lucian exchanges a look with Seraphina that screams, 'We're so screwed.' His usual smartass grin nowhere in sight.
"What did you do?" My tone drops to arctic levels.
"Funny story—more of a whoopsie, really..." Lucian fidgets. "Remember the little witch cage match adventure? Found the fancy ring, thought it might come in handy for Operation Save The World..."
He'd mentioned finding it when I was hell-bent on saving Dani, using it as some twisted pep talk—now sitting downstairs in the vault.
"Spit it out, asshole," I snarl, patience evaporating.
"Well," Seraphina jumps in, trying to save Lucina's ass, "what my eloquent disaster here is trying to say—"
"Oh, for fuck's sake," Emily interrupts, rolling her eyes. "Your idiot brother found mommy's ring of doom and didn't think to mention it until now. Let me guess—you tried it on like it was a clearance rack accessory and found out it's not just a fashion statement?"
