~T~
In the morning, Mr Collins, being more accustomed to dealing with the mistress of an estate rather than the master, approached Mrs Bennet for a most important conversation.
‘Mrs Bennet, as I intimated in my letter to Cousin Bennet, I have come hither to extend an olive branch to you and your daughters.’
‘Indeed, it is very generous of you to come and make peace. I always think that families should not be divided, especially not by a quarrel for which no one can remember the cause.’
Collins squirmed in his seat as he replied, ‘My father always claimed that he was cheated out of his inheritance, since he was the oldest male of the Bennet family.’
‘As I understand it, Mr Collins was a nephew, not a son in the direct line,’ Mrs Bennet answered. While it had taken many explanations by her father since Fanny was most vexed about the entail which prohibited her daughters from inheriting, and stubbornly protested the unfairness of it all, eventually she had listened long enough to the rules governing an entail to heirs male.
‘Quite. I have no wish to speak ill of the dead, especially not my own father to whom I owe the respect due to a parent, but misfortunately, he was a determined man who did not take kindly to being thwarted. I on the other hand understand the rules of an entail. Because of that I wish to minimise the hardship which shall befall you and your lovely daughters at the passing of Cousin Bennet. Therefore, being a generous man, and on the advice of Lady Catherine, who has most generously given me leave for ten days, I have come to choose a wife from amongst your daughters.’
‘Ten days!’ cried Mrs Bennet. ‘You cannot pick a wife the way you would walk into a haberdashery and within minutes pick a pretty ribbon, simply because you like the colour. You also need to consider if the patterns will suit you and if the colours are complimentary to you.’
When Collins gave her a bewildered look, Mrs Bennet continued to explain. ‘You cannot choose a wife simply because you think her looks are pleasing. Her personality too must be suited to your temperament.’
Collins listened attentively and beamed when he grasped the explanation. ‘Mrs Bennet, you have made me the happiest of men. Not only is Cousin Jane the most beautiful of your daughters, her delicate manners and gentle spirit are just what I want in a wife. Thank you for making my choice so very easy. Please excuse me while I inform Cousin Jane of her good fortune.’
As Collins opened the door, Mrs Bennet called out, ‘STOP!’
When Collins obeyed and looked back over his shoulder in confusion she said, ‘Mr Collins, while I appreciate that you wish to be generous, I have not given you leave to address any of my daughters.’
‘But I thought you would want to see at least one of your daughters well married. Especially your oldest daughter who is not so very far off being on the shelf…’
Mrs Bennet bit back a vexed exclamation. She said instead, ‘There is no need for you to be concerned for our welfare. If something should happen to Mr Bennet, my daughters and I are well provided for.’ The lady smiled politely.
Collins turned back to her and gave her a bewildered look. ‘But surely, Cousin Bennet is not in a position to adequately provide for five daughters, and Lady Catherine specifically instructed me to choose one of my cousins as my wife.’
‘I wish for my daughters to be happy and marry for affection, rather than at the order of a woman wholly unconnected to us. You might feel obliged to obey Lady Catherine, but none of my daughters are beholden to her.’
‘But they could be,’ exclaimed Collins.
‘Can you give me a good reason why they should want to be?’
‘Because Lady Catherine de Bourgh is a great lady of the peerage who shows prodigious condescension by freely giving advice to all in her purview.’
‘I hate to contradict you, Cousin Collins,’ said a new voice from the open door as Elizabeth stepped into the room. ‘As the wife of a Baronet Lady Catherine is a commoner.’ She turned to Mrs Bennet. ‘Good morning, mother. My apologies for interrupting, but father requested me to convey a message to you.’
While Mrs Bennet often found her second daughter exasperating and incomprehensible, she did not exactly dislike Elizabeth and at present was rather grateful for her presence since she had reached the limit of her ability to deal with that vexing man. ‘What can I do for Mr Bennet?’ she asked, hoping she would have an excuse to leave the room.
Elizabeth took her mother aside and said as quietly as she could, ‘There is no message, but I thought you might wish for an excuse to leave.’
During Elizabeth’s first words a look of dismay crossed Mrs Bennet’s features, causing Collins to step closer trying to listen. All he heard was Mrs Bennet’s response, ‘You are a good girl, Lizzy. I will go immediately.’
The lady smiled at her daughter and squeezed her hand in thanks before turning back to Collins and giving him a withering look for approaching and said, ‘You must excuse me. A household matter needs my immediate attention.’ She inclined her head in dismissal and breezed out of the room, leaving the door open and trusting Elizabeth to deal with their guest.
~T~
Elizabeth had been on her way to her father’s study to return the copy of Debrett’s which she had borrowed the night before, when she passed the parlour and heard her mother’s peremptorySTOP.
Unable to resist temptation, she had stopped to listen and became incensed on behalf of her sister. Jane on the shelf? Indeed not. What was that man thinking to believe that he could come here and demand Jane as his wife. And to top it off, he seemed to think that any of the sisters would consider it a favour and an honour to have such a ridiculous man as her husband.
When Collins claimed that Lady Catherine was a peer, Elizabeth had proof that the man was an idiot and decided to interfere.
By the time Mrs Bennet had left the parlour, Collins’ mind caught up with Elizabeth’s comment when she had entered the room. He rounded on her, ‘Cousin Elizabeth it is most unseemly to contradict a gentleman and it borders on blasphemy to claim that Lady Catherine de Bourgh is a commoner.’
‘Cousin Collins, you are in luck. As it happens, I have a copy of the latest Debrett’s Peerage with me.’ Elizabeth held up the book she was carrying and gave him a saccharine smile as she opened the volume and flicked to the entry forde Bourgh.
