The chill of the night grabbed me by the arms as we exited. Ishmael’s hoodie slid down my body. He leaned down and swooped me into his arms. It wasn’t until I wasn’t on my feet that I realized how much they hurt.
Our journey to the car wasn’t long. The unfamiliar set of wheels was right outside of the establishment. The engine was still running. Ishmael lowered me into the seat and closed the door behind me. He was in the driver’s seat within seconds. And we were off the parking lot seconds later.
The silence was agonizing.
His beauty was enthralling.
I was utterly and shamelessly obsessed.
I watched him collect himself. Collect his thoughts. Meanwhile, I was falling apart.
“Ish.”
Silence.
“Ishmael.”
Silence.
“Did you come all this way not to talk to me?”
Silence.
I didn’t want to fight. I wanted to talk. I wanted to apologize. Make things right between us.
“I came all this way because I love you, Royce. And, no matter how fucking pissed I am, I can’t stand the thought of another day without you. I came all of this way because my heart left me no choice. I am a fool in love. I don’t care what you have to say. Neither do I care to hear it tonight. Just sit back. Try not to puke all over this car. And, save your explanation for another day.”
“It doesn’t work that way.”
“How does it work? Hm?”
“When situations arise, we handle them.”
“Like you handled the election?”
I nodded. “Yes. Like I handled the election.”
There was no need to avoid the elephant in the car. It wouldn’t vanish because of it.
The wheels came to a screeching halt. Ishmael maneuvered in his seat, pinning his eyes on me.
“We’re in the middle of the street.”
“Do you not believe in me?”
“Ishmael.”
“Do you not believe in me, Royce?”
“Is–”
“Because it seems as if I was sadly mistaken to think you did.”
“I do!” I yelled, feeling my emotions topple over. “I believe in you. I believe in you so fucking much that I couldn’t bear the thought of Berkeley breaking your heart. So I took the fall. That’s how much I believe in you. I believe that you’re better than them all. Smarter than them all. More qualified than them all.
“But all they saw were your faults. All they saw was the news stations, the blogs, and the papers. They didn’t see you in the field… at your best. It was all overshadowed by the location of your dick at every waking moment. Did I make a difference?
“Yes. And we had a fighting chance, Ishmael. But, then came Asia. It fucked up everything we’d worked hard to undo. It didn’t matter that it was a lie. It didn’t matter once it covered that front page. I knew then we’d lost. We lost!
