“How you’re feeling… your plan… how you’ll handle this just like you handle everything else.”
“This is different, Range. He is different. I’ve never felt anything remotely close to what I feel for Ishmael. I feel awful for disappointing him, but I do not regret my decisions. Berkeley needed him. I couldn’t chance him not winning. He had to. The second he wired that money, the election was fixed. I’m a fixer. It’s what I do.”
“He understands that.”
“Then why are we at odds?”
“I don’t know, baby.”
“He’s never been upset with me. If this is how it feels, I never want him to be.”
“I hope you don’t chew me out for saying it, but–” Range paused, “I understand him.”
“Me too. I do. I jus– I want to talk about it. I want to work through it. I want to apologize for not being more transparent. I don’t want to be here while he’s there with all of this on his conscience.”
“He’s settling into his new position. I say give it another week. Give him the space we both know he could use. If he hasn’t cooled down, then go for what we know. Don’t give him a choice. Force him to acknowledge what’s happening between you two.”
“Yeah.”
“That’s all you can do.”
“You’re tired of me crawling in your bed, huh?”
“No. It gives the illusion that I’m not alone.”
“But when I leave?”
“I’ll have to face the music,” she admitted.
“Is it music you can get used to or a sound you hope to change?”
She sighed, pulling her knees up to her chest.
“I’ve been wanting to change the station forever, Ro. But, it’s not that simple, you know?”
“I do.”
“We’re not like the others. The average man wouldn’t know what to do with me. And, he’d probably run the other way once he meets my family.”
“Teddy is intimidating.” I chuckled.
“Exactly. I’m ready for a person. But, it must be the right person. My person.”
“It’ll come. You’ve put it into the universe. He’ll come.”
“You sound so sure.”
“Before Ishmael… I mean right before Ishmael… I wanted to change the station too. I was taking on date after date, hoping someone would adjust the nob. It wasn’t happening. Chem appeared. Wanted to know what was occupying my thoughts. I was honest. I shared my feelings.
“I told him how lonely I felt and how much I wanted someone to share my time with. Hours later, I walked into Ishmael’s office. It wasn’t the first time I’d saw his face. But, I knew then that it wouldn’t be the last. I’d have the privilege for the rest of my life.
“It didn’t happen until I was honest with myself and said it out loud. Like you just did. It’s coming, baby. He’s coming. And, he will be a brave fella. A fine fella. One who can handle you and everyone that comes with you. Don’t worry, Range.”
“When you put it that way, I guess I’d better get my shit together.”
“You’re as put together as put together gets, honey.”
Range laughed, pulling the blanket over her body.
