“I guess I just miss them.”
“Which is understood. I’m sure they share the same feelings.”
Pivoting was the solution. I headed toward the bedroom where I wanted to fall deep into the sheets. However, there was work to be done. Votes to secure. Adjustments to be made. And a day-long beauty marathon that I wasn’t looking forward to.
“I’m meeting his mother tonight. We have dinner at seven.”
“She’ll love you.”
“I’m not sure that I care if she doesn’t,” I confessed.
Chuckling, my mother choked on her spit.
“Royce.”
“It’s true.”
“I know and that’s what’s hilarious.”
“But, it would be nice and much easier to navigate shared spaces if she does.”
“She will.”
“But if she does–” I joined my mother in laughter. “I have a mother, six sisters, and five whole brothers. There’s more than enough love amongst us.”
“You’re absolutely right, baby.”
“You’re still laughing.”
“Because you are your father’s child.”
“Yeah? How so?”
“He didn’t care, Royce. He didn’t care about much when it came to anyone. He saved all of that energy for the children he created. Aside from Pops, Catherine, Maurice and I… you all were all that he cared to make a good impression on.
His life revolved around your views of him. He moved with all of you in mind. He wanted to be good at three things in life. Co-parenting. Being a husband. And, raising girls. He didn’t care if he sucked at everything else.”
“I don’t believe that’s entirely true. Richie was a perfectionist.”
My father approached everything with his best foot forward.
“He was naturally gifted, Royce. He didn’t have to try for much else. Everything came naturally to him. Perfectionism only applied to things that involved the three things he wanted to be proficient in. To be a good husband, father, and co-parent, he had to be a provider.
“For two households. Sometimes three. That made him approach business differently. It also required him to be a protector. He wasn’t always the calculated man you knew. That’s who he became. And a little more with each birth. Oh Royce,” she breathed. I could hear the smile in your voice.
“Your father was beyond this world. He taught me that a man ready for change will. No coaxing. No asking. No bribing. The desire will consume all else. Your father was enough as he was. Still, he wanted to be more.
“Not just for me but for all of you. And for the woman he knew so well once. Though his heart was with me, he mourned Catherine long before her death. He’d lost someone that meant so much to him to something he couldn’t see. We couldn’t see.
“But all felt the effects of. He wanted to be more for Maurice. He wanted to be more for the boys. He wanted to be more for Pops. And when it all came crashing down, he wanted to be more for Chemistry.”
“How did he handle their deaths?”
“It broke his spirit. I’d never seen my husband so fragile. Not even before his death. Catherine and Maurice were his friends. They were my friends. I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I claimed them as the best of friends for us. That was the first time I seen tears fall from his eyes. Until Chemistry’s arrest, it was the only time.”
“Like Rugger.”
“Just like Rugger. Richie lives through that girl. She is everything he was and everything he wasn’t. Psalem is shaping up to be more like them than either of us will be able to grasp.”
