I peer over the counter top. “I thought there was a cherry chunk in there too?”
“Yeah, but I know you’re just being the best sister ever and stocking that one for me because you refuse to eat icecream that doesn’t have chocolate in it.” He beams, and it instantly churns something inside of me. It’s been so long since we’ve had this. I’ve missed my big brother.
Handing me a spoon and the pint of chocolate thunder with a knowing look, he settles onto the couch with the cherry chunk.
“So, tell me, little sis, how’s life?” he asks as I plop down next to him. “And don’t give me fake fluff. This is our first life talk in ages. You need to be honest with me. I know you’ve had your fair share of shit handed to you lately.”
I choke out a laugh. “That’s one way to put it.”
“How are you doing since the whole Austin thing?”
“Surprisingly really well.”
He pauses his spoon mid-scoop as if he doubts me, and I flood with guilt. I want to offer more, but I can’t tell him about the ways Jax has been there to push me out of my comfort zone and show me what I deserve. Even if I were ready to tell him about us, Jax should be part of the discussion.
I also can’t tell Charlie how overwhelmed I’ve felt stepping into a lead role on the ranch because I don’t want to make him feel bad for leaving. I’m proud of him for recognizing he wanted to try something else, and until recently, I had no reason to think things weren’t going well for him in California.
At the end of the day, none of this stuff matters because I’m doing well, considering the stress of the ranch, Dad’s condition, and my breakup with Austin. I just need to get through this busy season of life, but I’m fine.
“Seriously, Char, I’m good.” I lower my carton of ice cream to my lap, looking him in the eye. “Things were pretty difficult at first, but I’ve hada lot of people supporting me lately, and with some time and space, I’ve come to realize Austin didn’t treat me the way I deserve. I couldn’t even fathom spending the rest of my life with him now. It’s been good for me to explore who I am again. I lost myself somewhere between fifteen and twenty-three.”
He locks eyes with me, like he’s searching my soul. “And you’re doing okay with everything that’s been going on with Dad?”
“That part has been tough, but you know him. He’s never going to give up. We had a minor emergency on the ranch last week, and he refused to sit back and let us deal with it.”
“Classic Dad. He always wants to be in control, kind of like someone else I know.”
I ignore his remark. I know he’s right, but I don’t want to go there right now.
Drilling my spoon into the chocolate heaven before me, I ask, “Do you have any questions for me about Dad?”
“You’ve kept me pretty informed, and he and Mom filled me in the other night. I’m not worried about him. He’s a strong man.” Charlie sticks his chest out in pride, but I don’t miss the slight falter of his voice. “So, you promise you’re okay?”
“I promise.”
“After the whole dog-stealing incident, I didn’t expect to come home and see you so at peace, but something has seemed different. It almost—never mind. It sounds ridiculous.”
“Almost what?”
“Your energy today at the bake-off almost reminded me of your pre-Austin days.”
I turn my face down to search for a glob of brownie,hoping to hide the way my cheeks are turning bright pink. “Well, there’s all the evidence you need. I don’t lie to you, Char. I told you I’m good.”
Except I am a big fat liar, aren’t I?He should know what’s going on between his sister and his best friend, two of the most important people in his life.
I savor the rich and melty chocolate notes, but they don’t hit the same tonight with this awful guilt churning in my gut. Desperate to take the attention off me and rid myself of the possibility of telling Charlie a real lie, I ask, “How are you doing?”
He shifts uncomfortably, but before he can respond, I add, “I know you’re going to say you’re great because that’s what you’ve always done around me. Maybe I shouldn’t be worried, but I’m a little concerned about your sudden decision to come home for longer. I thought it was because of Dad, but it feels like something else is going on.”
He shoves a massive bite of cherry chunk into his mouth, and that’s all the answer I need. Somethingisgoing on.
“Come on.” I extend my leg, tapping him with my foot. “I’m your sister. Tell me what’s going on.”
“It’s not a big deal.” He shrugs. “Work has been shitty for a while. I don’t like the people I work with or the lifestyle of the people I hang around. It’s made me miss my family and even made me miss Roots a little. There’s something about the slower pace of life here. I’ve missed being outside every day, riding horseback, and being in touch with nature.”
In an instant, I’m across the couch and wrapping him up in a hug. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you too.” He squeezes me tight.
