“You’ve got enough on your plate.”
She draws her head back, confusion filling her eyes. “You’ve told me over and over again that it’s good to let people help you. You’ve encouraged me to open up to you, even when I didn’t want to, and I don’t regret it for a second.” Her sweet eyes latch on to mine. “Let me in, Jax.”
I get up from the mattress, knowing I’ll cave if I let her keep touching me and looking at me like that. “This is different.”
“How is this different?” She follows me to where I’m leaning against the bedroom wall, resuming those hypnotizing circles on my back.
I shrug out from under her, grabbing her hands and meeting her gaze, hoping she’ll see the desperation in my eyes and understand. “I have to protect you.”
She slips her hands from mine, shaking her head. “Don’t give me that excuse. I hid my feelings from everyone I loved because I thought I was protecting them, butyoushowed me the right people will want to help. The rules don’t change for you.”
“They do in this case. I need to deal with this alone.” My voice cracks as I add, “Please.”
She stiffens, eyeing me. “Okay.”
As she extricates herself from my arms, it’s a sign of her emotional withdrawal just as much as her physical withdrawal. When the light in her eyes dims, I want to correct myself and tell her the truth, but it doesn’t feel right. Thedream proved I have to stop sitting around. I need to take action, and this time I don’t just have my mom to protect. I have Aunt Carol and Lauren too. I’m the luckiest man in the world to be in a spot where I have so many people I love, but it also means I’m not going to risk putting them in danger. I’m doing what’s best. Lauren will understand eventually.
Chapter Fifty
Lauren
“Tellme about your experience with regenerative agriculture.” I try my best to pay attention to the words coming from the cowboy in front of me, but I can’t focus. Images of Jax thrashing in bed last night swirl in my mind. Iknowsomething is torturing him, and I hate that he’s hiding it from me. Then there’s my dad who handed me a list of questions he made for my interview with the cowboy this morning. Nana Rhodes is looking after Dad to make sure he doesn’t show up here unannounced, but we shouldn’t have to do that. He just had a heart attack. He should know he needs rest!
Rhett asks another question.Focus. You’re almost done.
“I put in five years at my last ranch, but I was ready for a change. My little sister lives out here. She has a two-year-old. I’ve had my years of bouncing around from place to place, but I’m ready to settle down somewhere, and I’d like to be around family. Plus, I’m tired of watching her kid grow up through pictures. I want to be around.”
I cross my legs in my seat. “What would you say is your approach to problem solving? Are you more of a handle it on your own kind of person, or are you willing to ask for help?”
Rhett looks at me with narrowed brows. That question wasn’t on the list he and I made. It may have been inspired by recent events, but it’s still a fair thing to ask. After a beat, Rhett turns back to Zach, interested in what he has to say.
Zach launches into an explanation of how the situation would dictate his approach. I wish I could say I captured everything, but I think I got the gist. He seems like a great guy.
When he finishes, I ask, “And can you tell us about your experience with regenerative agriculture?”
He draws back, looking from me to Rhett with confusion. The room fills with silence for a full five seconds before I realize I’ve already asked this.
“I’m just kidding.” I press on a smile. “I think that’s all we need, right?” I look to Rhett for assurance, and he nods. “Thank you for coming in, Zach. We’ll be in touch.”
I hold my hand out to shake his, noting his firm and calloused grip. He has the handshake of a good cowboy. My dad taught me at a young age what to look for. He even told me I should shake a man’s hand before I let him take me out on a date. He said it would weed out the ones that aren’t worth my time. If I had listened, I wouldn’t have spent eight years of my life dating Austin.
After Zach leaves the barn, Rhett stares me down. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just missed lunch today. I guess I have a little brain fog.” I do my best to give him a reassuring smile, but I’m certain I’m failing.Dang you, Jax!
“Olivia doesn’t have any plans tonight. She’s a greatlistener and problem solver. She’s also good at giving you a kick in the pants if that’s what you need.” He chuckles, and I can see in his eyes how much he adores that woman.
“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You should text her now.” He scratches the back of his head. “Otherwise, she’ll ask me how the interview was, and it’ll be hard not to mention the fact that you asked the same question twice onmultipleoccasions. You and I both know she’ll pester me for answers I don’t have. Then she’ll check up on you because she’s already worried about how you’re handling things with your dad. She’ll end up coming over regardless. I’m learning it’s a Parker trait.” He smiles. “Save us all the trouble and just go to her now.”
Genuine laughter slips from my lungs for the first time today. “I can do that.” I pick up my phone, making sure he sees me press call on Olivia’s contact before he finally leaves me alone.
Callie barrels out of her truck, her hands full with a catering box I’m sure contains some of her cupcakes. She gives me a squeeze so tight I have to gasp for breath when she finally lets go.
“I brought reinforcements,” Olivia says, laughing as she steps out of the passenger seat, carrying a couple pints of ice cream, all of them chocolate.
“Y’all are the best.” I give them a smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes. I should be happy my dad is home now, but instead, the events of last night are weighing on me. I thought Jax and I were on the other side of major obstacles, but, apparently, he doesn’t trust me enough to tell me whatever he’s going through now.
