Her mouth hangs open, but she remains silent, so I keep going before I lose my nerve.
“Maybe it was naïve of me, but I couldn’t wait to start forever with her, so during our second semester of senior year, I proposed. Isabel said yes, and I couldn’t have been happier. Of course, our parents weren’t exactly thrilled about us getting engaged so young. My parents completely cut me off when they found out I had proposed to Isabel. They wouldn’t return my calls and texts, and they stopped sending checks to pay for my tuition. After everything they had been through with their marriage, they thought I was making a mistake, but I didn’t listen. I still haven’t spoken with them since.”
Olivia instinctively reaches for my hand, pity filling her eyes.
“It stung a little bit, but I was still on cloud nine because I had Isabel. I guess I’ve been seeking out a parental relationship in other places of my life since then, hence my close relationship withyourparents, but it was all worth it to have Isabel by my side every day for eternity.
“About three weeks before graduation, mybest friend was throwing a big party for his twenty-second birthday. Isabel and I came together, but while we were there, we got into this ridiculous fight. I honestly can’t even remember what started it. I just remember it was fueled by alcohol, and it escalated quickly. Isabel stormed off, and I figured it was best to just let her have a moment to herself. I figured she’d come back to me when she was ready so we could talk things through, but instead, she decided to leave the party early without telling me.”
My stomach churns, and a lump gets caught in my throat. Not only does it hurt to relive these memories, but I’m terrified of how Olivia is going to react. I know we haven’t exactly started anything just yet, but this truth has the power to prevent us from ever having a future together. Not having Olivia in my life in any capacity would gut me. After just over two months, she’s weaseled her way into my life and my heart, and I don’t want her out.
I suck in a deep breath and force myself to go on. “Isabel died in a car crash on the way home from the party that night. Her Uber was t-boned. She was supposed to be safe with me, but instead, we got into this huge fight, and she left the world angry with me. I could handle having a terrible relationship with my parents, but Isabel leaving this world right after a fight was all I needed to realize that love was never meant for me. I convinced myself I wasn’t worthy.” I squeeze the hand she has wrapped around mine. “I’m working on changing those beliefs because there’s someone else in my life who lights me up more than anyone ever has, and I’ll live my life in regret every day if I don’t at least try to give love one more chance.”
The silence fills with the sound of cicadas and frogs, and I’m thankful for their steady rhythm to calm me ever so slightly.
“Is that why you showed up at the bar to drive us home and why you panicked when you didn’t know where I was?”
“Yes, I wanted to make sure you two got home safely. You’re two of the most important women in my life. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you. Then when you disappeared, I was worried you were mad at me and had left.”
She moves from her seat, crawling into my lap and hugging me tight. After a few moments, she draws back to look me in the eyes.
“I know this isn’t the reaction you expected, but all I want to do is kiss you right now.” She’s right. That is not the reaction I expected at all.What the hell?“You’re a good man, and it means so much to me that you were able to completely open up tonight. I feel like I can finally see all of you, and I adore everysinglepart that I see.”
She caresses my cheek, and I can’t help but slightly nuzzle into her touch as her words stun me to silence.Did she just respond to that story by saying she wants to kiss me, that she adores every part of me?Warmth floods my chest as I process what is happening right now.Olivia accepts me and all my flaws. She isn’t turned off by the string of terrible relationships that I’ve left in my wake. She thinks I’m worthy of love!
I breathe a sigh of relief and reach for her hand, tugging her out of her chair and to my chest. Gently, I whisper, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I’ve been afraid that sharing my past would just scare you off, and that would only validate the fact that I don’t deserve love. You make me want to believe in myself again, but it’s going to take some time. I haven’t trusted myself in so long, and I’m still terrified I’m not enough to keep you safe and make you happy.”
“I know what it feels like to think you are doing more harm than good for the people you love, but I’ve learned over the last couple months that sometimes your mind lies to you. Don’t let that part of you win. You’re more than enough, Rhett.”
“It doesn’t scare you that I’ve had all these bad experiences with love? You don’t think I’m cursed?”
“How could I possibly think that? You’ve been nothing short of amazing with me since I got here. Yeah, there was that one night that you yelled at me,” she smirks teasingly, “but I deserved to be called out on my shit, and you only did it because you care for my parents so much. You’ve been there for me since I came to town, reassuring me I deserve happiness, showing me around Roots, introducing me to Callie, cooking and baking for me without expecting anything in return. You’re incredible, and what happened with Isabel, or your parents, is not a reflection on you as a person in any way.”
I gently brush her cheek with my hand before crashing my lips into hers. This kiss is fierce and desperate. There’s an “I need to have you now” to it. With each sweep of my tongue, I hope to show her just how badly I’ve wanted her over these last few months and how hard I’ll work to prove myself worthy of her each and every day that she lets me.
After all those passing touches that set my body on fire, this kiss sets mysoulon fire. It's unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I’ve never felt so made for a person as I do for Olivia. It’s like our bodies and souls were made together, two halves meant to fit perfectly together to create a stronger, more beautiful whole.
ChapterForty-One
Olivia
The feelingof Rhett’s lips on mine is electric. His touch is simultaneously gentle but passionate. The feeling of his hands on me, one around my waist, the other in my hair, is intoxicating. We pull apart for just a second, but it’s enough for reality to hit me.
Before he can lean back in, I reach a hand out to his chest, slipping out of his lap as my eyes grow round. “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
His brow furrows, and he stands up. “Ikissedyou. Why are you apologizing?”
“You may have been the one to lean in, butIspurred this on by telling you I wanted to kiss you.”
“I’m still not seeing the problem.” His rich laughter makes my whole body tingle.
“I know I’m trying to stay in Roots, but I haven’t checked off a single box on my to-do list yet. What if things don’t work out? I couldn’t bear to be responsible for breaking your heart again.”
He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me close. With my cheek against his chest, he gently cradles the back of my head. We stand there for several moments before he tilts my chin up to meet his gaze. “I’m going to ask you something, and I need you to be brutally honest.”
I nod, anxiety swirling in my stomach. Its tendrils wrap around my lungs and gives them a squeeze.
“Do you want to stay in Roots? If you put me aside, put your parents and Callie aside… if you put your job in San Francisco, everyone else’s opinion, and what you think is truly possible out of your mind, what do you want to do?”
