She looks back and forth between me, a pitchfork in hand, and Maggie, who is calmly watching the two of us banter.
“Both? I can get dirty too.”
I chuckle. “Here, you can watch my technique while you pet Maggie for a bit, and I’ll let you finish the stall.”
She nods eagerly.
“So, what happened during your talk with your dad?”
“He reaffirmed the fact that I have to make it to senior. He’d be so disappointed in me if I left now, just like he had to do.”
“Did he say that?”
“No, but it was heavily implied.”
“You can’t honestly tell me you want to go back to that job after all the hell it’s put you through.” The sharpness in my voice causes both Olivia and Maggie to stir uncomfortably.
“I don’t know. I’m just so scared. My relationship with my parents has been great. I’ve made friends here. The work I’m doing at the rescue makes me excited, but I’m not so naïve to think that staying in Roots would make all of this permanent. Leaving my job before becoming senior could ruin my relationship with my dad. Being around my parents so much could ruin my relationship with them too. Maybe I’d realize helping out at the shelter feels like too much pressure and causes me just as much anxiety as my job does now. Maybe this is just how I’m meant to be, and there’s nothing better for me out there.” She takes in a sharp breath. “Oh my god! I’m sorry. My counselor would tell me I’m spiraling and need to recenter. I didn’t mean to dump all of this on you like that.”
“Don’t apologize.” I set the pitchfork down and march toward her, pulling her into my chest tightly. “I’m not sure what led you to believe everyone else’s expectations of you are more important than your happiness, but it’s just not true. You are amazing, Olivia. You deserve to be happy.
“You are brave and intelligent. You have this wonderful light inside of you that I’ve had the privilege of seeing shine since you came to Roots. When you first rolled into town, there was no sign of that light, but then you came in and made friends. You started helping out at the shelter and taking matters into your own hands to do something that you care about, and you became the brightest ray of light I’ve ever seen.”
Now that I’ve started, I can’t stop. “I’m telling you right now, the job you are in is not meant for you. I think you’ve always known you wanted to do something bigger with your life, but you settled for something safe that would please everyone else around you.That’sprobably why you’ve been having so many panic attacks in San Francisco and why they’ve dwindled since you’ve been here. Your body was telling you that something was off. It’sbeggingyou to let yourself be happyand do the things that you know in your heart you are meant to do.”
A muffled sniffle escapes from against my chest. “Damn it. Did I make you cry?”
“Kind of.” She pulls away from me, swiping at a tear. “It’s okay. It’s not a bad thing. You’re just being so nice to me, and you’re making a lot of sense and I—I can’t just leave my old life behind, Rhett.”
Seeing her doubt herself fuels me with anger, sadness, and love all at once.
“I get that you’re afraid, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to find a way to be happy again.” That’s the place I’m desperately trying to get to, letting myself be happy again, even if I’m afraid.
Crap. Am I going to let myself try to love again? I can’t. Can I?
She nods, clinging to my every word. Then she buries herself back into my chest so that herthank youis barely audible. Having her wrapped up in my arms feels so right. I want to hold her here forever. There’s no way I could possibly ignore the feeling I have when I’m with her.
Olivia steps back from me, swiping a final tear, her face filled with determination. “My turn to clean the stalls.”
I stand back and let her, processing everything that just happened. It’s amazing how she can go from crying moments ago to cleaning out a horse stall as if nothing happened. I recognize mucking a stall doesn’t require a superb amount of brain power, but still, she’s amazing.
She finishes up, setting the fork aside and dusting her hands off with a look of satisfaction. “On to the next one?”
“Actually, how do you feel about ditching this place?”
“I just got here. It hasn’t even been an hour. You need to put me to work! Plus, if you want me to stay here, I might need a job, and mucking horse stalls could be the only work available. I need to learn.”
“You’ll find something better than mucking horse stalls. I know it was my idea to bring you here, but now I have a better idea.”
“What do you have in mind?”
I grab her by the hand, filled with renewed energy. “Come with me.”
ChapterThirty-One
Olivia
I follow behind Rhett,feeling slightly giddy, but that feeling quickly fades when the barn door slams shut, rattling the whole building. A tall woman with beautifully full golden waves rushes into the barn, tears staining her cheeks. She wipes her palms across her face and peers up to see Rhett and I staring at her.
