I have to be. It’d be selfish of me to leave my job at the Big Four. It’d be impractical. I just can’t help the fact that I’m enjoying my time here, and I want to explore all these new relationships—with my parents, with Callie, and, of course, with Rhett, even if we haven’t had the chance to discuss what that almost kiss means.
Wringing my hands together in my lap, I look up at Dad. His eyes have returned to the TV as two announcers analyze the upcoming Rangers matchup.
“Actually, can I ask you something?”
“What’s up?”
“Why does it bother you so much that you left public accounting early?”
He mutes the TV and turns toward me with even more concern on his face than earlier. “I guess it felt a bit like a failure to me. In school, the standard was always toat leastmake it to senior, and I couldn’t even do that.” His sorrow-coated voice quickly takes on a new tune as he adds, “But my little girl is going to do better than her dad ever did. I mean, look at you! You’re taking time off and getting the help you need. I have no doubt you’ll come back stronger than ever and get that promotion this fall like we always dreamed, right?”
Like we always dreamed.How the hell am I supposed to tell him that it’s only ever been his dream? How do I tell him that I think this career has been what’s driving my anxiety? I can’t tell him the truth. It would kill him. I have to stick it out. I have to stay in San Francisco and make it to senior, regardless of whatever I may want.
Mom comes back into the room. “What time is Rhett coming over?”
“Should be any minute. The game starts in twenty.”
“Rhett is coming over?” Despite my best efforts to sound nonchalant, the words come out extremely high-pitched.
“Yeah, he always comes over to watch the Rangers play. He didn’t mention it to you? I thought you two were living in the same house now.”
“We are, but he’s been so busy with work, I’ve hardly spoken to him lately.”
“Is something going on with you two? You can tell me.”
“It’s nothing.”
Oddly enough, I don’t want to keep my mom out of the loop just to keep her at a distance. I’m opting for silence because I’m embarrassed. I’ve replayed the events of the other night over and over again in my head, trying to convince myself Rhett wasn’t going to kiss me, but there’s no other explanation. If Maverick hadn’t popped up, it would’ve happened, and I’m certain it would’ve been incredible. Except, when we were interrupted, I swear he looked relieved and ashamed, like he would’ve regretted it.
Even so, I can’t seem to tamp down that flicker of hope that still blazes inside of me, that piece of me that hangs onto that little something I saw in his eyes that makes me believe whatever made Rhett scurry off the other night had nothing to do with me.
I should be excited about the opportunity to finally see him again, but the last thing I want is to be stuck hanging out with him for the evening while my parents hover over us and watch our every move. I want to address the elephant in the room, not just pretend it isn’t there.
A knock at the door makes my stomach somersault.
“I’ve got it!” Dad calls. His excitement over Rhett’s presence is kind of cute.
When my dad and Rhett walk into the room, Rhett’s eyes immediately catch on mine. I can see a whole storm swirling inside of them, and it gives me even more hope. I’m not the problem. Iknowit.
I awkwardly bring my hand up to give him a half-hearted wave and smile, which he returns with a lopsided grin of his own.
“First pitch should be any second.” My dad hands Rhett a glass of water.
“Ol, have I shown you the new paint swatches for the living room yet?” Mom grabs me by the hand and drags me off as I give Rhett one more glance over my shoulder.
* * *
“Well, this game is basically settled then,” Mom notes. “What do y’all want to play after?”
“Please don’t make me play anymore card games, babe,” Dad groans. “You know I love you, but I’m all card gamed out.”
“Even poker?”
“Even poker.”
“Damn.” Mom brings her pointer finger up to her mouth in thought. “What about pool?”
“Oh, pool could be interesting. What do you think, Rhett?”
