As I storm toward the door, I can hear Callie still talking to me. It isn’t until she grabs my arm that I finally stop and register what she’s saying. “Olivia lights you up in a way I’veneverseen, not even with my sister. You’re an amazing guy, Rhett. You’re worthy of love. You made my sistersohappy, and one poorly timed fight doesn’t change the three years of happiness you gave her.”
I slip my arm from hers gently and to even my surprise, I pull her in for a hug. “Thank you. I know you’re just looking out for me, and I appreciate it. I just can’t let love in that easily. Something didn’t just break inside me that day I lost Isabel, something shattered. It’ll never be fixed. It’s not just that I don’t believe in love anymore. I don’t trust myself to keep it if it ever comes my way again. Isabel was my one shot at starting over and giving love another chance, but I ruined things with her beyond repair. I’m terrified of what I might do to anyone else.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” Her words are barely above a whisper, but they hit me hard. “You treated her like a queen. If she can’t have that love anymore, then someone else should. Call me crazy, but I think that someone could be Olivia. I’ve heard the way she talks about you, and I hear all about the incredibly sweet things you do for her. You are constantly proving that you are still more than capable of loving deeply and treating someone right. Trust me, I know a thing or two about people that make you feel unloved or unworthy, and you are not one of them. Don’t let that self-doubt creep in.”
“I should go.” I finally say. I am barely holding myself together right now, and I don’t want Callie to see the spiraling that’s about to commence as I question my whole world for the past four years.
“Rhett, wait!” I stop and glance over my shoulder at her. “Please just promise me you’ll think about what I said. You deserve to be happy. That’s all I want for you. It’s what Isabel would’ve wanted too.”
“I’ll think about it. Now leave me alone. You’re driving me crazy.”
She smirks. “But nothing compared to the way Olivia drives you wild, right?”
“Shut up,” I growl as I storm out the door, trying to keep the corners of my mouth from turning up.
ChapterTwenty-Eight
Rhett
I’m a sweaty mess,but nonetheless, a wave of satisfaction rolls over me. I woke hours before the sun was up for the past week and a half, working closely with Austin, the soon-to-be owner of Copper Hill. Calving season ended in May, but breeding season is May through August. Plus, the cattle are grazing this time of year, so we are moving them to different pastures sometimes three times a day.
Even though we’ve been busy, something about working on the ranch brings me peace, and I’ve needed some peace after my conversation with Callie.
“Hey, you two! Glad you finally came back,” Lauren remarks as Austin and I enter the barn. She leans in to give her fiancé a quick kiss. “Are you two wrapped up yet?”
“Actually, I have one more project if you’re up for it, Rhett.”
Glancing at my watch, I note it’s 9:30 pm. I’ve been going home later than this for the past week, but I’m exhausted. “I think I should head home now. I’ll see you tomorrow though.”
Austin gives me a smile and a firm handshake. As I head toward my truck, I hear the happy couple murmuring to one another. They don’t sound so happy. I guess wedding planning can be stressful. Turning my key in the ignition, my lights flicker on just in time to illuminate Lauren marching out of the barn with her arms crossed and a frown on her face.
The sight reminds me of my stupid fight with Callie. I must’ve looked like such a child for marching out of the café like that, but she caught me off guard. I thought I was doing a better job of hiding my feelings for Olivia than I apparently am.
It’s just so complicated. It’s not like I’m still hung up on Isabel. I will always love her, but four years has been enough time for me to recognize that I have room in my heart for someone else. I want to love again. I do, but I also don’t trust myself, and I’m terrified of losing someone.
I could open up my heart to Olivia, but it would only get crushed in a matter of time. I’d mess it up, or she’d be taken away from me, perhaps sooner than later considering her time in Roots has an expiration date.
Pulling into the driveway at home, the soft yellow glow of the living room light catches my eye. She’s still awake. I’ve avoided Olivia for a full ten days, getting up before her and coming home after she’s gone to bed. I’m not sure if I have the clarity I need yet, and I don’t think I’ll get it by being with her, but seeing the light on in the living room makes me suddenly aware of the dull ache that’s settled upon me since I’ve last seen her. Living without her feels like trying to get somewhere with no map. I might be able to continue like this. I might get where I need to go eventually, but it’s painful and unnecessary.
I lock my truck and walk toward the house, not moving my eyes away from that beckoning light, and the ache turns sharper by the second. I need to see her, so badly that I think I’m seeing things. I could’ve sworn I just saw her amber eyes and dark brown hair popping over the window ledge.
When I get to the front porch, the door swings open, and Olivia runs at me with a frying pan in her hands and a wild look in her eyes.
I leap back, holding my hands in front of my face. “Woah! What the hell are you doing?”
“Rhett?” She drops the pan, looking surprised. “You scared the crap out of me! What are you doing home this early?”
A pang of guilt hits me in the chest as I take her in. Her hair is tossed up into a messy bun. Little strands of wispy hair outline her face. She’s wearing a wrinkly USF t-shirt and sweatpants. Her freckles have come in since when she first got here, the sun doing wonders to bring out her natural beauty. I don’t think she’s ever looked more beautiful.
“I’m sorry I’ve been coming home so late.” I close and lock the door behind me. “Is this how you protect yourself in case of an intruder? Run at him with a frying pan?”
"Sorry, I don’t know where you keep your baseball bats.”
“You don’t need a bat or a frying pan. Nothing bad ever happens in Roots. Even if it did, you should know you can call me.”
“You haven’t been around though. I was starting to think you were avoiding me.”
“I—” I stop dead in my tracks. I don’t know what I’m doing. I didn’t plan on seeing her tonight. My heart brought me here without giving my head any say in the matter. “I’ve been really busy helping out at Copper Hill for the past week and a half. This is our busiest time of year.”
