“Sure.”
“Why don’t you want to stay in Roots? I know you have your life in San Francisco, and I don’t know a ton about what that looked like, but it seems to me like you’re building something great here. And again, I can’t speak for San Francisco, but I know you have a lot of people here who already adore you and want to put you first. I guess I’m just thinking if I had that as an option at some point in my life, I’d choose it.”
Her words sting. They remind me a little of what Rhett has said about how I have people who care so much for me, but I push them away. “It hadn’t occurred to me that I actually could stay.”
“Why not? I’m sure your parents have been begging you to the moment you got here.”
“I’ve spent the last couple years trying to keep my parents at a distance because I felt like my anxiety was ruining their lives. The idea of staying here and letting them be a regular part of my life again has never felt like it’s an option. Beyond that, I guess Roots just doesn’t seem to fit into my goals for life. I’ve always wanted to make senior at my job, and I’ve worked so hard to get here. I can’t just give all that up. My job, my apartment, my—" I trail off because quite frankly I’m not sure what else. “They’re all in San Francisco, and I don’t know how to make a good life here in Roots.”
“It seems to me like you’ve already started. You’ve got a job. You’ve got family and friends, and a potential love interest.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “You’ve got an adorable dog who loves you to pieces, and you’ve even gotten involved with the local animal shelter. That seems like a beautiful life to me. Just saying.”
“But that life doesn’t pay my bills. It doesn’t build my resume, and it doesn’t help me get the job title I’ve been striving for since I was in college. I can’t stay in Rhett’s house with extremely discounted rent forever, and I can’t live off of part-time wages from the café. Besides, I have a Master’s degree and my CPA license. I worked so hard for those. I need to put them to use.”
“That education, that license, they’re both impressive, but they don’t mean anything if you’re not happy. Considering the circumstances that brought you here, I think it’s safe to say that you weren’t all that happy in San Francisco. I’d like to see you create a life that brings you joy.”
I nod silently, not sure what else to say. She is so right, but I feel stuck. It’s not like I have the experience to jump into the things I want to do in life. My anxious self craves stability, and I can’t imagine getting that from pursuing some sort of career related to social media or non-profits.And what about my dad?He’d be horrified to see me give up my career just before I make it to senior the same way he had to when he was younger. It’s a nice thought, staying in Roots and living like this all the time, but it’s not practical, which breaks my heart.
ChapterTwenty-Seven
Rhett
I’d liketo say it’s a happy accident that Olivia is still in the café when I get there for my check-in with Callie, but I was definitely very intentional when I scheduled our meeting for right when Olivia’s shift is over, and even more intentional when I decided I might as well pop in twenty minutes early to see how things are going.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the panic in my chest when we couldn’t find her in the bar last week. It’s had me making her breakfast on my day off and making sure she always has a fresh vase of wildflowers for her room. No matter how hard I fight my feelings, I always fail. It doesn’t help that I can’t get the image of her with Jax out of my head, and I’m starting to feel a little possessive. It’s unfair of me to want her away from him if I can’t commit to her, but I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can’t take the thought of losing her, and yet I know that’s what will happen if I open my heart up to her. That’s how it’s always gone in my life, and I’d be insane to give love one more try with someone who is leaving in a couple of months.
The bell on the door overhead rings cheerily, and before I can even step both feet through the door I’m immediately greeted with a simple, “Hi, Rhett!” Her voice is soothing and warm, and her dazzling smile melts me like butter. She crouches down to the ground, cooing at Maverick as he pulls on his leash until I finally release it in time for him to bound across the café into her arms, licking her face frantically as if he hadn’t seen her in much longer than the six hours it’s actually been.
“Hey! How’s your day going? Is your shift almost over?” I play innocent as I place my elbows on the counter and lean into her because that’s the only way I can respond to her magnetism. I catch the faintest whiff of her lavender scent and want to wrap myself up in it.
Callie barges in, already interrupting us as she exits the kitchen, brushing her hands together. “You’re early. I told you when her shift ended. That’s why we planned on meeting at two.”
“I’ve got a lot going on. I can’t keep track of everyone’s schedules and remember every little detail,” I growl. Turning back to Olivia, I ask, “What’re your plans for the rest of the day?”
“My Mom and I are going out to some fancy restaurant in Fort Worth.”
“How have things been going between you two? Have you talked with her about the—” I glimpse at Callie standing three feet away, “—the incident?”
“I know I should, but I don’t know if I’m ready yet. I’ve been trying for over a week to recite the conversation we would have in my head, and every time I chicken out. If I can’t even do it in my head, how am I supposed to do it in real life?”
“You can totally do this! I believe in you. You know you’ll feel better once you do.” I lean onto the counter. “Focus on what it will feel like to have that weight lifted. Because it will lift. I know your mom. If you talk with her about things, you’re going to feel better, and you’re going to come away with a stronger relationship with her. I think it’d be good for you.”
She nods in acceptance. “You’re right. I hate that you’re right.” She scrunches up her nose in fake annoyance at me, and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
“I don’t know why you’re acting surprised. I’m always right.”
“Don’t go getting a full head there.”
“Too late. Hmmm… should I use this superpower for good or for evil?”
“Stop it! You’re being so ridiculous.” She giggles and shoves my shoulder. Her laughter makes me wish I was cleverer and funnier because I want to keep making her laugh forever, but I’m out of things to say now.
I look up to find Callie still standing there quietly, her arms crossed and the most ridiculous smirk on her face. “Are you two done flirting yet? I need Olivia for one more thing before her shift is over.”
Olivia’s eyes go wide and her face flushes, turning the same color as the vibrant curtains Callie insisted on putting on the windows when we first bought the café. She recovers quickly though, making my stomach sink as she says, “Don’t be ridiculous! I would never flirt with him. He’s completely intolerable what with his big head and all.” She turns to me and gives me a quick wink, making my stomach somersault. I’m so confused.Am I upset? Am I happy? Is she flirting? Is she not?I can’t figure it out.
“What do you need help with? I need to leave right at two if my mom and I are going to make it into Fort Worth and back today.”
Callie grabs her by the arm and drags her off into the kitchen, leaving me in the dining area with Maverick. I pick up his leash, settle into a chair at one of the tables, and open up the notebook I brought with me that holds everything I need for business with the café. Maverick sits staring at where Olivia and Callie just left, whimpering.
