“That’s not a question.”
“But it’s not entirely a statement either.”
I grimace. I don’t want to talk about this. When she peers back up at me with those softly shining amber eyes, some of the walls inside of me start to crumble.Maybe she won’t even remember this conversation tomorrow.Wishful thinking, I realize considering she doesn’t seem much more than buzzed.
I inhale sharply, and then the words tumble out. “There was a time when I did drink and go to bars, back in college. My senior year, I made a big mistake that I can never take back, so I decided from that point forward to stay away from parties and alcohol. Nothing good comes from it.”
Pity creeps into her face, but she promptly pushes it away, and I’m grateful. “I understand. It doesn’t bother me if you choose not to drink or go to bars.” She pauses, clearly still thinking. Then she adds, “I just can’t figure out how to put together all the puzzle pieces I have of you. I’m still missing something.”
“I told you not to try. I probably shouldn’t even be here. I just wanted you two to be safe. A responsible person makes sure the people he cares about make it home safely.”
Something flickers in her eyes but silence washes over us for a while as we just sway to the music. I’m certain she’s just willing this dance to be over with. I’ve said too much. I’ve probably scared her away now that she’s caught a glimpse of the darkness inside of me. I guess that’s a good thing. That’s what I need if I’m going to keep us apart.
But as the song winds down, she doesn’t immediately pull away. Instead, she moves in a little closer and leans her cheek into my chest. I feel my hard exterior melt a little, and it’s terrifying. “Thank you,” she whispers.
“For what?”
“For sharing with me, even if it was a little tiny sliver of the whole complex puzzle that makes you up. I’m starting to realize you aren’t too keen on sharing much about your life with people, so I’ll take whatever I can get.”
“Don’t get used to it.”
“I’m going to crack you all the way open someday. Just you wait and see.”
“Trust me, you don’t want to do that.”
“You told me I’m lucky to have people who accept me and love me with all my flaws. You said you’d give anything to have that, but you won’t let anyone in and give them the chance to love and accept you. I hope to get that chance someday.”
My stomach does a somersault or two, and I’m rendered speechless. I stand there staring blankly at her, and I can feel the tension building between us as the song ends.Did I upset her?
When she draws away from me, she grimaces and says, “I’m sorry, but I really have to pee!” Spinning on her heel, she dashes off to the bathroom before I can even process what she said.
Only a minute after Olivia has pulled from my grip, Callie rushes up to me. “What’re you doing here? I saw you two dancing. Did it go well?”
I roll my eyes. “We just danced. It’s no big deal.”
“Itisa big deal, Rhett. I saw the way you were looking at her.”
“It doesn’t mean anything.” It can’t.
“What’s your problem? Why can’t you open yourself up to anyone?”
“I want to. I just can’t.”
“Why not?”
I want to tell her everything that’s been plaguing me since the moment Olivia walked into my life, the burning desire not only for love, but love with this wonderful woman I’ve grown to enjoy spending time with, the fear that I’ll never be worthy of love, the fear of losing yet another person I hold close to me, but in true Rhett-fashion, I quickly dodge her question.
“Shouldn’t Olivia be back by now?”
“I’m sure she’s fine.”
“No, it shouldn’t take her this long to go to the bathroom.”
“There was probably a line. You wouldn’t understand this, but as women, we like to go to the bathroom in packs, so we usually have to wait in line to pee.”
“Why didn’t you go with her?”
“I didn’t know she was going. She didn’t ask me to come with her.”
