She leans back in her chair, crinkling her nose and pressing her lips together. It’s so darn cute. “I guess a couple things piled up and sent me spiraling. My coach emailed me today and said I could still get promoted to senior this fall. I should’ve been happy because that’s always been my goal, but a part of me doesn’t care about being promoted anymore.”
“It’s okay to realize you don’t want the same things you used to.”
“No, Ihaveto stay until senior.”
“Why? You don’t seem to enjoy your job. It clearly makes you very anxious.”
“My dad worked for a smaller public accounting firm when he was my age, and he loved it. He had to quit to come home and help take care of my grandma, and he’s always wished things could’ve been different. When I ended up in accounting, my dad immediately showed me the right path. This is how I get ahead in my career. This is how I make all the hard work of the difficult undergraduate degree, the Master’s degree, and taking the CPA exam worth it. Making it to senior opens up a lot more doors in my career than if I left now.”
“Did you even want to be an accountant and work for the Big Four?”
She glances down at the ground, breaking eye contact. “When I started school, I wanted to go into marketing. I always loved social media and creating content, and I liked the idea of using that for a good cause like helping non-profits raise money, but by the end of my freshman year of college, my parents helped me realize there are more steady careers and better uses of my intelligence and work ethic, so I found my way to accounting. I’m good at it, and it’s a very secure job. It pays well. There’s lots of opportunities. After working at the Big Four, I can go onto other jobs that could lead to a career as a CFO or Controller?—”
She’s rambling now, and I see right through her. “But that’s not what you want.”
“It is to a degree. I’ve always wanted a secure job, something to make my parents proud. This is it. It’s hard work, but you don’t get ahead if you don’t work hard.”
“But it’s killing you.”
“Rhett, I don’t want to argue with you. You asked me what triggered me, and I’m telling you. I can stop.”
I sigh heavily. “Go ahead. What else caused you to start spiraling?”
“My mom called, and she wanted to leave work to hang out with me.”
“That’s sweet. Why did that upset you?”
“Because she’s always giving things up for me! I don’t understand why she keeps worrying about me. I’m going to see a counselor tomorrow, just like she and my dad asked me to. I’m trying to give them everything they want.”
“I don’t think she’s giving anything up by leaving work a little early.”
“She was going to skip out on a meeting. Knowing her, it was probably some important meeting that she shouldn’t miss.”
“It sounds to me like your mom has her priorities in line, and you’re at the top of the list. Maybe you should take note. Screw this job that you don’t even want. Who cares about being secure and looking good to other people?”
“Actually, a lot of people care about that,” she grumbles. “This isn’t the first time she’s blown off something important for me. In college, she skipped out on a super important work meeting, and I still can’t forgive myself for letting her do that.”
“Whatever happened, I’m sure it couldn’t have been that bad. Your mom is happy now. She’s thriving.”
“Yeah, but I still wonder how things would be different if I hadn’t gotten in the way.”
The irony isn’t lost on me as the next words come out of my mouth. “You can’t let all the what-ifs drown you. Life goes on. It’s what you do with the rest of it. Do you learn lessons from the past? That’s what matters.”
“I’m going to therapy. What else can I do?”
“Let your parents in a little.”
“That’s what has started every mess I’ve ever been in.”
“Then let’s figure out how to let them in without messing it up this time.”
“Let’s?”
I grab onto her hand, looking into her eyes and giving her the only thing I can ever give her. “You’re not in this alone.”
ChapterSeventeen
Olivia
