“Do you want to see how easy it is for me to do it, or do you want me to go after you for support?”
“If you go first, there’s a ninety-nine percent chance I don’t follow you. I recommend you go behind me.” I grab one rung of the ladder and turn back to him. “My life is in your hands now, Andrew. If I fall, you have to catch me.”
“I didn’t realize we brought Rebecca along,” he teases, his smile quickly fading to a somber frown.
“We always bring her where we go.”
He nods, his lips pursed. Then he kisses me on the cheek. “You’ve got this, Em. This is for Rebecca, right?”
His last sentence gets me moving up the ladder quicker than a spider monkey. Okay, not really. Slow and steadydidwin the race after all, but at least I’m moving now.
As promised, Andrew carefully follows behind me. When we reach the halfway point, I do what every rookie does. I begin to look down. With that one look, the world immediately plummets another fifty feet lower. I suck in abreath and stop moving, paralyzed. There’s nothing for me to do. I can’t just give up now. I’m halfway. It’s not like I can just go back down easily. Andrew is in the way, and I’ve already come this far, but the prospect of going up any further makes me feel like I’ve inhaled thumbtacks.
My breath quickens, and my heart pounds furiously in my chest as if it’s trying to escape the prison of my rib cage. I meet Andrew’s gaze, pure panic in my eyes, but his own reflect nothing but peace. “We’re almost there. Just one more rung at a time. Think of the view from the top. Think of the thrill when you get to tell everyone what you did today.”
I nod, still frozen. He releases his grip on one of the rungs, reaching up toward me.
“Andrew, what’re you doing? No! Are you crazy?” I argue.
But when his hand meets my waist, I can feel the panic ease a little. The prickling in my lungs is gone, and my throat opens up enough to allow a sliver of air in.
“Another step, Em. For Rebecca.”
I slowly pull one hand from the safety of the ladder and then grab the next rung. My opposite foot follows, shakily, and when it touches the ladder again, the clanging sound makes me freeze again.
“No, keep going. Your steps are making music.”
“What?” I ask, hardly able to hear his words right now over the rapid pounding of my pulse in my ears.
“Take another step. The sound is like music.”
His words fill me with enough curiosity to allow me to make another movement. I hear the chime of the metal again.
“That’s my girl!” Andrew cheers. Then he proceeds to sing the lyrics to “My Girl.”
Laughter bubbles up unexpectedly inside of me, but my fear still keeps me plastered to the same spot. Andrew continues singing, pausing briefly between verses to insist, “Sing with me, Em!”
“I can’t believe you’re singing at a time like this!”
“Well, we can’t exactly skip rocks from here, now can we?” he challenges.
I press my lips together in defeat. He’s not wrong.
“Come on. You know the words.” He picks up exactly where he left off, this time singing louder. “I want the birds to hear us and be jealous!”
Again, the smallest hint of laughter slips from my lips. Seeing the traces of a smile on my face, he begins singing even more ridiculously, adding animations with his one free hand, and projecting his voice out into the trees. When he runs out of lyrics to sing, he begins creating his own to the same tune. “Emma! Emma! She’s going to crush the ugly duckling!”
He gives my butt a light encouraging tap. “Come on, Em! We have to finish what we started. Take one more deep breath and then take another step.”
Silently, I follow his orders. I fill my lungs with as much oxygen as they will hold, allowing it to sit for a couple of seconds before I finally exhale.
“There you go. Now just one movement at a time.”
I move my right hand again, then my left foot.
“Don’t forget to breathe!” Andrew reminds me as he follows closely.
When we reach the top, all the tension and tight squeezing feelings release. I feel like a sponge that’s finally allowed to soak up water again.
