My answer was instant. “I’m ready.”
Chapter 30
James insisted on a shower first.As it often did, the power dynamic shifted the moment we climbed out of bed, but I didn’t mind. James led me into the ensuite bathroom and I happily gave up control. We traded lazy kisses until the room filled with steam. Only then did he silently take my hand and help me into the shower, positioning me directly below the rainfall shower head.
Hot water dampened my hair, cascading down my back, made all the more relaxing by James’s hands following the trail, even hotter than the water. We didn’t speak—we didn’t need to. After witnessing Dani’s transformation, I had an idea of what to expect. Though with my hybrid DNA, mine could be completely different.
At the slightest spike in my heart rate, James wrapped his arms around me. I wondered if—when my heart didn’t beat anymore—he would still be able to read me like a book. Lips met my shoulder, and I leaned back into him.
“James…”
“Hm?”
“After I turn, will you be able to do… this?”
He ran a soapy washcloth across my neck and shoulders. “Do what, love?”
“Know what I need without me having to ask for it? Which sounds lazy now that I say it out loud.”
James chuckled, the sound creeping through my skin and settling into my bones. “It’s not lazy. Being able to understand your partner on that level is intimate, romantic. To answer your question…” James tipped my head, exposing one of his marks. “Yes, I will, better than I do now. I’ll be able to literally read your mind, remember?”
Oh I remembered. Once I’d gotten over the fear of having someone know my every thought, I’d dreamt of all the ways to usethatparticular bond to my advantage.
James massaged shampoo into my hair, breaking down the thick layer of product that Hannah had smushed over my head that morning. It didn’t even make my hair look any different, but she’d insisted on it. I hummed and leaned into the feeling of his fingers scratching my scalp.
“Will everything feel the same?” I wondered out loud.
Another laugh. “Oh, love, you have no idea how much I truly hold back with you.”
As if to prove his point, he dug his nails into my scalp. I hissed at the sting, but found myself wondering what it wouldfeel like when he could completely let go.
James continued to wash me, and I shut my mouth and enjoyed the feeling. Once I was clean, I returned the favor. Part of me thought he was trying to delay biting me, but he didn’t protest when I rinsed the suds from his body and we both grabbed fluffy white towels and stepped out of the shower, not bothering to even get dressed.
With my hand in his, James led me back to the bed and guided me to sit on the edge of the mattress. Leaning down, he ghosted a feather light kiss across my lips, his thumb brushingthe mark on the side of my neck—where he’d bite me for what I hoped would be the final time.
“No matter what happens,” he said, sending shivers down my spine with each pass over that mark, “you know that I love you, right?”
I shuddered. “I love you,” I echoed.
“No matter how bad this gets, I’m right here, okay?”
My mouth dried. At that, all I could do was nod. Typically, I’d have urged him onward, begging him to be as rough as possible.
Trust.
It had been hard to learn, but once I stopped fighting it, it waseasyto give up.
For him.
“I trust you,” I whispered.
James let out a sigh. “Lie back on the pillows for me.”
Lie down… I could do that, right? Lying down was probably good.
It felt like I was moving in slow motion as I twisted around to rest on the pillows. James climbed onto the bed, stretching over me. The move used to make me feel trapped, but with him, I welcomed it. I took a few deep, centering breaths to keep myself under control. When I opened my eyes, James watched me, bottom lip fixed between his teeth.
“Don’t let me hurt you,” I said, insecurity beginning to settle heavily in my stomach.
