The door opened behind me, and I turned to see Fenris walk through the space, his eyebrows furrowed, his sharp gaze searching. When it landed on me, his features softened, and he grinned.
“There you are,” he said. “Everything alright?”
“Fine.” I sighed and glanced back toward the forest at the edge of the homestead. “Just getting some air.”
He stood next to me, and the delicious aroma of his scent licked through my nerves, pooling in my lower gut, sinking lower. I shivered and hugged myself tighter. I’d known Fen a long time, and he’d never elicited this type of reaction from me before. My wolf whined inside my mind, urging me to curl into his side, to wrap my arms around him and pull him closer. She wanted to bathe in the delicious pheromones wafting off him, to roll around in them until they coated me inside and out.
“Aren’t you missing all the fun?” I nodded back toward the festivities, hoping he’d get the hint and go away. The mix of desperation in my body and his alluring presence had me thinking things I shouldn’t. It made me want things that were off the table. He didn’t see me like that, never had. I had gotten over my stupid little crush on him when I hit puberty. Our lives didn’t need the added complication of something more between us.
He hummed and shook his head. “Maybe I needed some air, too.”
“Won’t they miss you?” I tensed as another wave of tremors shot through my bones.
“They’ll survive,” he said, moving closer to wrap an arm over my shoulders. “I’d rather make sure our beloved healer is taken care of.”
“Like I said—” I cut myself off as fire shot down my midsection from the contact and boiled my blood. I clenched my thighs together as agony surged in my cunt, desperately empty, needing to be filled.
No.
The realization hit me so suddenly, I nearly collapsed. I hadn’t had a heat in…what? Eighteen months? And the last time, I’d felt it coming on, so I’d been able to knock myself out for it, take a few sedatives, and hide in my room until it was over.
Hell, I’d been so distracted with work, I hadn’t kept track of the dates.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
Fen ducked his head into my shoulder and trailed his nose along my neck, taking a long, slow inhale. “You smell delicious.”
His purr rattled through me, and I melted. Logic fought with my primal instincts as I struggled to stay upright. I couldn’t…shouldn’t…get caught in this web with him. I should run back to the infirmary, ask Briggs to put me down, and wait it out for the next few days. But my animal side growled at the idea. I was already in too deep.
“Fen.” I moaned his name, the taste of his cinnamon dominance pooling on my tongue as it slid down the back of my throat. My fingers curled into his shirt, gripping the fabric as I tugged him closer. Warmth radiated off his hard body, decadent and entrancing, and it wrapped its tendrils around the aching parts of me. I was stuck in his tractor beam, or perhaps he was stuck in mine, and there was precious little time to get out.
I wasn’t even sure I wanted to.
“Wyn.” He nuzzled his face closer to my neck, ghosting his lips over my jaw and up my cheek. I sizzled from the near contact, my wolf howling with delight.
Yes, she cried. Yes. More. Him. Him. Him.
“I think…” I trailed off, unable to form the words as I clenched my eyes shut in a feeble attempt to shake away the intoxication. All I saw was him. All I knew was the sweet delicacy of his embrace, and I never wanted to leave it.
I was thirty years old, and I’d been through multiple heats before. In my world, a person was only fertile once or twice a year. Male-presenting shifters went into ruts, a hormone-crazed frenzy requiring their mate or a willing partner to take the brunt of their attention. Heats were similar for those who presented female. But if that female could carry pups, it was the only open window for conception. My magic would call to any available male in the area, announcing my status and pleading for help.
In the old days, dominants would fight over a shifter in heat. Now, we had the option to put ourselves out of our misery until it passed. Unless a workaholic forgot about it until it was too late.
Fenris hummed and trailed his lips over my forehead to press a tender kiss between my brows.
“You can tell me, Wyn,” he said. “I’m here for you.”
His wolf had undoubtedly picked up on what was truly wrong, and unless I wanted him to see me through my heat, I needed to get away from him as quickly as I could.
No, my other half whimpered. Him. Please, him.
Everything in me wanted to draw him closer, but I had to do this for both our sakes. He didn’t know, and if he did, he’d do it out of some twisted sense of obligation. I didn’t need or want his pity. If I ever let someone help me through a heat, it would be because they wanted it, not because biology took over and forced them into it.
In the end, I didn’t have a choice. The full force of my magic erupted out of me, exploding pheromones in a force field that knocked him a few feet away. I arched into it and threw my head back as the wave of agony coursed through my veins. My fangs extended, throbbing for a neck to sink into, and tears ran down my cheeks as the heat took hold of my senses. My vision blackened, and my mind went blank, my skin tightening around my muscles. It flung me into the air, lifting me onto the balls of my feet as it poured out of me, taking all of my energy with it. My molecules flamed with wanton yearning desire, desperate for someone, anyone, to put an end to it.
The waves seemed never-ending. I’d never known such fear, such pain. Not even my transition was this terrible.
When it was over, I crashed back to earth and hunched over, my hands on my knees as I gasped for air. I pulsed with profound emptiness, all of my attention centered on the ache between my legs.
