We paid, got the tree loaded onto his truck, and were heading back into town twenty minutes later.
“Tree officially acquired.”
Ro nodded, grinning at my enthusiasm.
“We need to get the track for the barn doors. We should stop and do that before heading back.”
“We’re not working today?” I frowned.
“You’re gonna be doing that.” He glanced over his shoulder toward the back of the truck. “I can work on the track.”
“Nope, this is a two-man job. All hands on deck.”
“Well let’s at least get the parts for the barn doors so they’re at the ranch.”
“Okay, but don’t think you’re skipping out on decorating 101.”
He groaned but I shrugged. “Boss’s orders.”
Chapter 7
Ro.
Today had me missing home but I wasn’t encouraged to do anything about it because what I missed about home I no longer had access to. Karah’s favorite time of year wasChristmas, and although she wasn’t as much of an enthusiast as Reece, she was big on all the things that made folks feel connected to the holidays.
Our home, the one I’d built for us on my parents’ ranch, would be loaded down with lights and decorations. There were multiple trees throughout the ten thousand square foot house with wreaths and bows on all the windows and doors.
That was the one thing she and my mother would have loved about each other. Deborah McCall was the same, but considering how things ended with me and Karah, I’m glad they’d never met. Our mother spent weeks preparing for Christmas. Each year our father offered to pay to have someone come out and do the decorating, but she turned him down.
Her thing was, Christmas had to be celebrated with a personal touch and she refused to allow the robotic efforts of a decorator to ruin her holiday.“The love is in the effort, no matter the outcome,”she would tell our father. Even if every detail was a horrible disaster, it would still be a beautiful mess and a display of love.
That also meant my brother Keron and I were left to do most of the outdoor lights and displays around the house. She loved it and we loved making our mother happy. I missed her so much it was hard to think about them most days.
Especially now that the one thing that kept me level no longer existed. Rodeo, however, allowed me to travel from state to state competing and gave me a reason to not head home. Being there wouldn’t be the same for me. Having to set down roots because I was forced to make what I’d lost so much more of a reality. That was why I had been doing this unnecessary rotation of working ranches all over the country.
I didn’t need the money but I did, however, need the distraction from thinking about what my life would be in the future. I was running from what my life was now that I no longerhad bronco riding to lean on, or at least Ihadbeen. Something about being here with Reece had me rethinking a lot of shit. Two days with this woman made me consider the prospect of putting down roots and that was troubling.
Why the hell was I so willing to accept a new future just because of a woman I barely knew a damn thing about? I missed being in the arena with thousands of people cheering me on. Never thought about what missing that would feel like, but now I was. Each time I allowed my mind to go there, Reece played a role. I was here, on her ranch, in her space, doing things that simply made sense.
I had to catch myself at the tree farm because on the way back to my truck to load the tree, I was already mapping out how we would tackle the task next year without the help of one of the Phoxes Den employees tagging along. I laughed at the thought because why the fuck was I planning next year together when we hadn’t even crossed the finish line of sharing one week in each other’s presence.
Because I knew…
Reece was supposed to be mine which didn’t make a bit of damn sense until my father’s words slipped into my subconscious.
“If you meet a woman and can’t see your life without her, but at the same time can clearly imagine how good your life will be with her in it, then she’s your one, son. She’s your gotdamn one.”
At the time we were out in the cold after my mother dragged all of us from bed at five in the morning to bring firewood to the house because we were expecting a rare snowstorm. She stood on the porch supervising as we stacked the wood like we hadn’t been handling the same task for years and knew exactly what we were doing. I didn’t get it then but I did now. My mother wantedthe wood and my father did whatever her heart desired without complaint. I fucking understood what he was teaching me.
Your heart will know, even when you don’t…
I loved Karah. Planned so much for the two of us. We were gonna be married, have a family, grow old together, and be happy. That would have been the case had she not decided to walk away from our life and those plans but now I was second guessing how happy I would have been.
I was trying to decide how much she truly meant to me if I could imagine a life without her. I was doing that now, because when I thought about my future, it wasn’t Karah standing beside me, it was Reece. Even when I tried to remove her and circle back to the plans I had for me and Karah, the feelings weren’t the same. I could see it, still appreciated the life plan Karah and I had, but my heart wasn’t as enthused about my future as it had been when I thought about the future with Reece.
After we returned to the ranch, I told Reece I was going to shower and change, so I could get comfortable. She had a full night planned for us, decorating a tree and holiday hot chocolate that I was only agreeable to because she promised there would be liquor involved.
Once I was out of the shower and dressed in sweats, I sat on the bed and dialed my brother. I hadn’t talked to Keron in almost six months but he texted occasionally just to make sure I was alive and well. I loved my brother but couldn’t be around him knowing his dream was still intact while mine had ended the day that bronco damaged my spine and shattered my leg.
