“I got your text.” I snatched his phone from him and dropped it on the island. “What do you mean we need to leave?”
“I’m sending you and your sisters back to New Mexico,” he answered, then took another bite of his food. “Everything is already taken care of. All you have to do is pack, and I’ll take y’all to the airport.” He finished off his food, then stood and took his plate to the sink.
“No,” I said, shaking my head.
Tulane chuckled as he rinsed his plate. “It’s not an option, Yale. Y’all are going back until we can figure this shit out.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said. My hands went to my hair, and I tugged at it before letting it go. At this point, I was beyond frustrated, and I knew it was only going to get worse if I didn’t start saying what I needed to say. “I know you think just because you’ve been playing daddy for the last few months that you run things, but that’s not how this works, Tulane. I’m a grown ass woman.”
“Oh yeah?” He finished rinsing his plate, then picked up the towel on the counter to dry his hands. “You’re a grown ass woman, huh?” He tossed the towel on the counter and turned around to face me. His face was void of all emotion as he grilled me. “Do you know what the fuck you got yourself involved in all those years ago? Do you know the kind of nigga you were really married to? The family you tied yourself to?”
“No, I don’t,” I said, crossing my arms. “You want to know why?” I stepped into his face and gave him the same type of energy he was trying to give me. I was so tired of hearing about this shit with Grant and his family, and how they made it seem like it was all my damn fault when it wasn’t. “You want to know why I don’t know shit? Because I should’ve never had to deal with him. There is no doubt in my fucking mind that he came after me because of you and your bullshit. If Amethyst and his family knew our connection, you can’t get me to think that Grant’s people didn’t as well. Especially since you are responsible for killing Doreen. They probably watched you for years after that, just plotting and waiting for the opportunity to fucking ruin you. He hit you in a way that you never saw coming, Tulane. He went after the children you pushed away to protect. You left us out to dry.”
“I did not!”
“You did too!” I yelled. “You left us out there on some I’ll protect you from a distance bullshit! You didn’t protect us! We protected ourselves the best we could. You have four successful daughters, at the top of their fields, who run from love. Spelman is every nigga’s walking wet dream. She’s beautiful, smart, and knows sports, but won’t let a man touch her. Clarke can literally build a house with her bare fucking hands, yet has never had a home. And Berkeley is so disassociated that she finds enjoyment with literal psychopaths! All because you thought it was a good idea to watch from the sidelines.”
“You and Amethyst deserve each other,” Tulane said, shaking his head. “All this shit is everybody's fault but y’all. When are you going to take some blame for this?”
“Blame?” I laughed and grilled him. “Blame, Tulane? You want me to take the blame, cool. Let me take the blame for my part in this, okay? I dated a nigga who seemed safe. I’ll take the blame for that. I raced cars in high school and college to have money in my pocket. I could’ve gotten a regular job, but I needed fast money, so I raced. That same safe man that I dated found out and offered me more money to race for him, so I did. During that time, I met and fell in love with a boy---because at that time, he was a fucking boy and not a grown ass man---but I was so scared to let him love me that I put him in the friend zone. I let him take care of me in every way possible, but sexually, while I had a damn boyfriend. It was fucked up, yes, but I can’t change that now. Anyway, I agreed to do one final race to get enough money so I wouldn’t have to keep dealing with the good, boring guy and could be with the boy I loved.
“I’ll take the blame for all that, but you know what I won’t take the blame for? The rest of the fucking story! I won’t take the blame for that race being rigged; I didn’t know it then, but I do now. It was rigged, and I was told I killed a woman and owed a lot of fucking money because my ‘good’ boyfriend didn’t tell meor my best friend about the stipulations of the race, and to save his life, I took the deal that my boyfriend’s older brother offered. Marry my boyfriend, and the debt was wiped clean. Now looking back, I see how dumb that shit sounded because why the fuck would my marrying him protect anyone?” I threw my hands in the air and laughed. “Because really, what my new family was doing was plotting this entire time. I was a fucking pawn in a damn game I had no idea I was fucking playing. For ten damn years, I dealt with a family that hated my fucking deadbeat father because he killed one of their family members!”
I smiled and stepped further into Tulane’s space. “That woman I thought I killed? She was my fucking sister, and I had no idea she existed. You, Tulane, are the reason I’m dealing with this shit. Why can't I be with the man I really love? I don’t even know if I can trust him. You see, Tulane, that boy I loved turned into a man I don’t even recognize, yet can perfectly identify, because he’s a reflection of me. He lied, schemed, and did whatever it took to protect the person he loves. He played a role that I can’t say was meant for him because he was forced into it. You changed not only my life but his, Tulane, with one simple act of pride. You could’ve let Xierra go, moved on with your life, but you didn’t, and now we are all stuck carrying your burden.” I wiped my face and stepped back, shaking my head. “So like I said, no, I’m not going back to New Mexico. I’m going to go to my room, shower, and then lie in my bed and read to my baby.” My hand went to my stomach. “A baby, I’m not even sure who her daddy is.” I smiled sadly. “I’ll take the blame for that, too. But now my question to you, Tulane, is what do you take the blame for?”
**
“How long do you think you can ignore me?” Amethyst said when I walked out of the bathroom. I’d showered and was preparing to do precisely what I told Tulane I was going to: climbinto bed and read to my baby until I fell asleep. It wasn’t going to be a kiddie book, though. I had a stack of my favorite books on my TBR list that I wanted to get to.
“Why are you here, Amethyst?” I sighed as I walked to the closet. I wasn’t surprised that he showed up, because I knew he would eventually. I was more astonished that he let the sun go down before he showed his face.
“Answer my question, Sunshine,” he said when I walked out of the closet and walked to the dresser to get my Kindle. “How long do you think you can ignore me?”
“What’s the record right now? Six months?” I picked up my Kindle and phone and looked around for my bowl of grapes that I’d put on the dresser before I got in the shower.
“Six months, three weeks, four days, and about twenty hours,” he answered. I turned around to see him putting a grape in his mouth, and he smirked. His cocky ass knew how I was about my before bed snack, which is why he had the bowl.
“Double that then,” I answered as I climbed into bed. “No, triple it.”
“Not happening,” he chuckled as he sat back. “Make that shit shorter. Like a couple of seconds, top.”
“Not happening,” I mocked him. I adjusted my pillows, then pulled the covers up and laid down on my side. I gave him my back but knew it wouldn’t last long. I hated lying on my right side, always had, and my baby girl hated it too. “You will not do this tonight.” I rubbed my stomach and shook my head. “Let me rest.” As if my request was falling on deaf ears, she started kicking and moving more. “Baby girl.”
“You may as well roll over, Sunshine,” Amethyst chuckled. “I already know you like lying on your left side.”
“Shut up, Amethyst,” I mumbled as I rolled over. It felt like ever since I’d come back to KC, my stomach had doubled in size.He tossed a pillow at my legs, and I reluctantly took it, stuffed it under the covers, and put it between my legs.
“You need a body pillow,” he said as he continued to eat my grapes. “Why don’t you have one?”
“Why are you here?” I asked again. I wouldn’t admit it to him, but I kept forgetting to buy one. Every time I was out, I said I meant to grab one, but I always got sidetracked.
“This is my house.” He set the empty bowl on the end table. “Or have you forgotten?”
“My name is on the deed, not yours,” I countered with a smirk. When Amethyst paid off his house, he had the deed transferred to my name. He said that my house may have been the one I shared with Grant, but my home would always be with him. After leaving his parents’ house, this was the first place I thought to go. Mama Diamond told me that Amethyst hadn’t been back here since sending me away, and that he’d hired a cleaning company to come in weekly to make sure the house was taken care of. “I could call the police and have you arrested for breaking and entering.”
“Do it,” he shrugged. “It’s not going to stop me from bailing out and coming right back.”
“Just leave, Amethyst,” I sighed, shaking my head. “We don’t have shit to talk about. You did what you did for your reasons. I don’t have to like or accept them, but after finding out Tulane’s involvement in all this, I don’t even care. My focus will be on caring for this baby when she gets here and on my business. What y’all plan to do or not do once y’all find Quincy is up to y’all. I don’t want a part in it.”
