“No, it’s fine. We both lost our heads for a second.” Sterling sat up quick as fuck like I was the worst person in the world. I wanted to stop her but I got caught up watching how her body moved. Sterling was thick as fuck, that much was always clear even when she wore those baggy clothes I’m sure were standard for nannies not to draw attention to themselves. But seeing her with her shirt pushed up over her breast, that I fucked up anddidn’t get to taste of, as her ass clapped while she was just searching the ground for her pants, she had me mesmerized. And then I realized she was getting dressed.
I reached over and touched her thigh and the way she recoiled was like a stab in the gut. “Hold up, Ling. What you doing?”
She ignored me her eyes looking as though she’d zoned out as she reached for where her panties were lying by the couch. “It was a mistake, I get it. At least let me wash you out of me before you fire me or whatever it is you’re about to do.”
“What?” I was trying to keep up while she was snatching her stuff up off the floor. I swore I might have really been tackled too many times because I couldn’t comprehend what the hell was going on. “Wait. No. I don’t regret shit, I’m not about to fire you. I was apologizing because I didn’t use protection, Ling. I ain’t never slipped up like that and I apologize cause I know that ain’t how you roll either.”
She didn’t completely stop getting dressed much to my disappointment, but she moved at such less hurried pace. Progress.
“You’re so sure.”
I stood up because I didn’t want her to bolt out of the room and have me getting tripped up since my shorts were around my damn ankles. I pulled them back up and didn’t miss how she watched me without an ounce of guilt. It wasn’t until my dick was covered back up that she looked back at my face.
“You’re a nurse, Sterling. Even if you were out here slanging pussy like dime bags you would still make somebody wrap it up. So that’s my fault for not slowing down and keeping a level head.”
She folded her lips together trying not to laugh at me but she couldn’t help it as her laughter burst through. She slapped herhand over her mouth again and I instantly knew she was worried about waking up Ami.
Once she could talk without laughing she cleared her throat and rolled her shoulders back. “We can always talk about this at some other time. Or not at all. We’re both grown and just because we did grown folks things doesn’t mean I have expectations or anything like that.”
She was doing it again. Shutting herself off before she got hurt and I didn’t like that shit. I was being a hypocrite because I’d been moving that way all year but someone like Sterling didn’t deserve it. She wasn’t naïve but she had a genuine heart and an honest spirit. It pissed me off that her mother had her feeling as though she couldn’t expect to be loved and clearly her father didn’t reinforce that shit either.
Another thing I've gotta make sure I do with Ami.
“What if I do?”
“Huh?” The lamp that we’d kept on was casting shadows over her face but I clearly saw how confused she was. I was confused myself because I didn’t know where I was going with this line of thought but I wasn’t going to lie that I didn’t mean what I was saying.
“What if I have expectations? You can’t play with me like I’m a toy, Sterling, and not fuck up my head.”
“Stop playing.” My desire for her beyond her body had her looking speechless.
“I’m not. You know something between us has been building for a minute.”
“Aldrich, it’s proximity. That’s the only reason you’re feeling how you are. I’m here and you’re depending on me. That makes you feel something that might fade. Sex just confused it even more.”
“I was in the top twenty percent of my classes in high school and in college, Sterling.”
Her brows dipped along with the sides of her mouth as she frowned at my words. “Aldrich, what does that have to do with anything?”
“I much prefer you call me Money, but we’ll get back to that.” The shy look on her face made my chest puff out because I knew she was remembering the moment she called me Money. Shit, so was I and I needed to stop because I felt my dick pressing against the front of my shorts. Greedy muthafucka came out of retirement and is trying to gorge himself.
“Aldrich—”
I stepped closer to her and when she didn’t move back I continued walking until I was directly in front of her. I leaned forward to speak directly into her ear. I watched her skin pebble and the pulse in the base of her neck kick up with anticipation of what I would do. “You can be all proper right now but I've got the cheat codes to have you real relaxed. I’m not about to let you fight this shit, Ling. We've both been ignoring it for different reasons but that shit’s out the door now. We can’t unring that bell and I for damn sure ain’t ever forgetting what that pussy felt like—”
“So, sex—”
“No. Attraction. Sex is a natural consequence of attraction when it’s as strong as it is between us. Stop fighting to make yourself inconsequential to me. It ain’t ever gone fly, Ling.”
She glanced away and I pulled her by her hip closer to me because I needed to feel that connection to her. In just minutes since I’d withdrawn from her body, I needed that contact. Craved it. Her aura was comforting but the actual physical touch of her felt healing, magical, a necessity.
I see why Ami be cutting a fit now when Sterling puts her down.
When she came to me without hesitation I used my fingers to gently turn her face back to me. Her eyes held a look of warinessand I knew I wouldn’t be able to fight that and conquer it all in one night.
“I don’t know how to do this.” Her confession was whispered softly, as though she didn’t want me to hear it. Or the part of her that could be so vulnerable was so minute that this was as loud as she’d allowed it to be. And I hated that. Hated that her kindness and her spirit had been eroded to the point that she’d been unable to be true to her own nature.
“I used to. But stuff tried to fuck with the person I was…the person I am. If I’m going to confront that shit within myself like you told me to, you not gone do the same?”
