“Always trying to make everything so positive, Sterling. You must have gotten that from your father. I’m not so lost in being idealistic that I can’t criticize someone for their behavior.” My mother’s voice was so filled with disgust that I knew we were overdue for ending the call.
Since her criticisms were never outward I took what she said with a grain of salt. “Okay, Mother. Also, I don’t need you to purchase clothing for me, I know how to dress for the visit.”
This was just my mother’s way of trying to get information on what size I was, how much I weighed and if she could stress me into losing twenty or more pounds in the next six weeks. Becauseof my body type, I would never be the willowy figure she’d had her entire life. My shoulders were broad as were my hips and curves were my best friends. I’d been on a diet for most of my life and whenever I let her get in my head my relationship with food got more fucked up. I’d already talked to my therapist about what was to come and she was warning me not to even go to the family gathering.
If only it were that simple.
Anything over a size four for my mother was plus sized and since I was triple that on a good day I would never be what she wanted. My mother often lamented the fact that I’d gotten my father’s everything. Normally it was stuff that she didn’t like about me. Which seemed to be everything.
“I’m not sure I’ll like what you bring.” And she somehow said it as though her hating my clothes wasn’t even more reason for me to wear them.
“Well, you’re free to waste your money; that doesn’t mean I’ll have to wear it. If I’m going to go, I’m going to wear clothing that I like and feel comfortable in.” My mother and her siblings, cousins and extended family tried to make everything a competition. I had one cousin who showed up with an entire custom wardrobe for the summer just to ensure none of us had the same clothes as her. Denise was always a head case about wanting to be the center of attention and I knew my mother secretly wished I was more like her. I’d rather go no contact before that shit happened.
She sighed and I knew the lecture was about to come. “If you would just lose weight—”
I took my feet off the coffee table and stood up from the sofa. “Bye, mother. I will see you in a few weeks.”
I hung up the phone without hearing what she had to say. There was no need to because it would just be more of the same. Criticism. My eye twitched and I could tell that my stress levelswere skyrocketing. There was no way I was going to survive an entire summer of this bullshit.
Momentarily, I thought about seeing if I could take up Dr. Davis on his offer. I would love to avoid this and despite the inner voice screaming that I could didn’t mean that I would. I was too happy to keep the peace in my life even if it meant that I sacrificed it for a few months.
I headed to the small, well-equipped kitchen and grabbed the bag of bell peppers I’d put in the fridge. The generic feel of this place made it clear no one was welcome to stay for long or to change anything about it. Stark white cabinets, stainless appliances and laminated takeout menus that screamed don’t do too much in here. I’d wanted something different but I would pick something healthier since I knew I needed to get in the right frame of mind for the visit. I felt like I was slipping back into someone else’s life and I prayed I could find a way out of it.
Instead of wallowing I took the fruit and grabbed my phone. I made the short walk down the hall to my bedroom before I located the number I needed.
“Let me guess, you talked to that lady who gave birth to you and she’s already annoyed you.”
“Hey to you too, Dee. And yeah, you guessed it.”
“From that crunch I can tell she’s already gotten into your head and you’re eating rabbit food.” His disapproval was loud and I should’ve known not to call him immediately.
“I eat a good diet.” This was a lie but not a big one.
“And it goes to the extreme every time you talk to that woman. Don’t let her get in your head.” I nodded at the advice he seemed to give me too often that I could never take for long.
“I won’t.” I was lying, since she never really left my head but his worrying about me wasn’t something I needed right now. “Are you going to be there at the start?”
“Yep. I won’t go for the entire summer because I have things to do, but I’ll show my face to this happy little cult of weirdos we’re related to for a few weeks.”
“At least I’ll have some reprieve.”
“Maybe we’ll have some emergency that forces us to leave.”
I smiled for the first time since I’d left the hospital because that thought was a happy one. “From your mouth to God’s ears.”
CHAPTER TWO
Accidents
ALDRICH
“I CAN’T BELIEVE this shit!”
I almost threw my phone across the damn room but kept it together just because my mama was on the line.
The image of this woman and her baby belly had me ready to lose my shit. Instead of rushing to take the offer to do the DNA test, she was still hanging around online talking shit about me. Her latest post was the one that really pissed me off. It had been weeks since the offer had been made and I guess she had an elaborate social media plan she was hellbent on following. If I wasn’t the person in this situation I’d admire her dedication to get her money’s worth. Several news outlets had reached out to her for her story and apparently one had done a maternity shoot for her free. Those were the images splayed out online once again, dragging my name through the mud.
I couldn’t wait to sue this bitch for emotional damages when all of this was over.
