And no matter how hard she made my dick I couldn’t do shit because she was Ami’s nanny.
“I think you’re off to a good start with managing this, Money.”
My head snapped back to Doc because I’d been so lost thinking about Ling’s ass that I’d zoned out and forgotten where I was.
“How you figure?” I had my doubts but since I was living it, I would heed an outside observation.
“Because you have someone who is going to help you balance out the hard part and allow you to lean on them when things get rough. That’s the first step of what you need. Come back when you’re ready to talk about the other things weighing on you, okay?”
I nodded and stood up as he did the same. We shook hands and he pulled me in for a hug. “Appreciate it, Doc.”
“You know that you’re more than equipped to handle this. Right now you need the space to be allowed to feel the expanse of your emotions: the anger, the rage, disappointment and fear. And even the love for your little one that is probably scaring you because you’re afraid of failing. This is all normal, Money. I’m sure that, as a man who has grown up being a champion you see this as a defeat. Don’t allow a stumbling block to become a mountain to derail you from your path.”
Doc’s ass knew exactly what to say to have me doubting the doubt I had about myself. I’d mentally clowned myself throughout my entire workout barely joining in with what Anthony and Marcel had been clowning about. What I did know is that Anthony was about to make moves on a shorty he’d beentalking to since the first of the year. I could tell he was really feeling her based on how much time he was taking with her. He was heading out to visit her and I hoped she was everything that he’d hyped her up to be because he deserved to have somebody real in his corner. We’d lifted and I’d run around the facility’s outdoor track once they were done by myself just to give myself time to focus before I had to delve back into real life. I felt more settled walking back into the house than I had when I ran out of it this morning.
“What’s good, Sterling?” I was looking around because my house smelled good as hell and I wasn’t sure what she’d ordered to eat. I’d come in through the hallway from the garage that led into the kitchen and the smell hit me at the door.
Sterling rounded the corner with the baby nestled on her chest. I was jealous as fuck of my kid and how close she was to what I wanted.
“Hey, Aldrich. How was work?” She had a smile on her face and I felt some way about how easily she was moving in my space. Shit, I wasn’t that familiar with the space since I’d only gotten it a few weeks before she was here, but still. It wasn’t a bad feeling but it wasn’t good either. It was just…something.
“Straight. Just training and lifting and stuff.” I tossed my gym bag down on the cubby things that were built into the hallway. Her eyes tracked my movements and then did a rapid blink like she was itching to pick my bag up off the bench and put stuff away. I ignored her look and she cleared her throat before motioning behind her.
“Okay, well, I made dinner. Please let me know if you’ve got a specific diet plan that you need to follow since you’re heading back into the season.”
“I thought you knew nothing about football?” I was now wondering what she was doing because making dinner wasn’tpart of her job. But her wanting to do it had me feeling some kinda way. Again, I couldn’t tell if it was good or bad.
“I didn’t. So I looked it up.” She shrugged causing her wavy brown hair to shift around her. When a piece of it fell across her chest and onto the wrap, she pulled it back up into a ponytail that only showcased her face better.
Fucking dangerous.
In the lounge set she was wearing — something simple and didn’t even hug her curves — this woman exuded class, gentleness and welcome. The dark pink color looked good as hell against her skin and I caught myself staring.
I cleared my throat once I caught myself and her words sank in. “So I’m sure you saw the stuff about me.”
“I did. But rumors don’t mean a lot to me or hold a lot of weight. Folks will say whatever they want about you just to get a headline.” She was smiling and I was sure that she’d seen a lot in her previous positions.
“What did you find out?”
“You’re really good at your position. Like the best in the league. I don’t follow football but I saw that theDesperadosare one of the top teams in the league. You seem really humble for someone who has so much talent.” Sterling was smiling and I wondered if she was carefully avoiding the topic that was the elephant in the room or if she chose to ignore that and focus more on me as a person instead of the drama.
“I’m used to all the attention. And it truthfully doesn’t make any difference to me. Like you, words don’t mean a lot. I’ve gotten this type of attention for over a decade. I get numb to it.”
“Numb. That’s an interesting choice.” Sterling was back to studying me, those teak-colored eyes looking far deeper than the surface and I didn’t want that. I wasn’t in the mood to be psychoanalyzed yet again today.
“What you cook?” I walked toward her, and she backed into the kitchen and headed to the stove.
“I wanted something warm even though it’s so hot here. I made beef stew.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever had that. Not homemade and not out of a can.”
“It’s good. And I’m not just saying that because I made it. I don’t eat shitty food or make it.” The look on her face spoke to truth and not someone who was bragging on her skills.
“You don’t have to cook for me. She’s too young to eat real food yet so…” I wanted to explain her motives. Give me something that would make me pull back from her even if it was just a small step away.
“I know. But I have to eat and despite needing to drop some pounds—”
I couldn’t stop the frown that immediately crossed my face. “Who told you that lie?”
