“You touch her and I touch you. And that’s before her husband gets up here and her father-in-law destroys everything that you think you have.” Murda didn’t play about his wife and Mac didn’t play about his daughter-in-law or his damn son. Those two competed to see who was going to be the president of the Billy Briggs-Grayson fan club.
“What is the problem here?” A nurse came out of the NICU as if she’d been watching everything happen from inside and waited for the right time to come out. She was wearing scrubs that were kid-friendly even though the babies in the area weren’t old enough to understand what she had on. It made me happy that she cared enough to wear something happy around them. Like she really cared about her job that much.
Billy turned to the nurse putting her lawyer hat back on. “We are here because my client was informed that the mother of his child passed away—”
She turned to me with sympathetic eyes but I wanted to tell her to keep it. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you.” I barely got those words out because I didn’t need them. I didn’t feel them nor did I want them. But I was sure that looking the part was going to go a lot better for me if she were sympathetic.
“These are her parents and they seem to think that they have some authority over the baby that he doesn’t.” Billy pointed to that crazy girl’s parents and I could tell what she was doing.
“That is my daughter’s child. The only thing I have left of her. I will not be denied.” The mother was being tearful now but she was talking a lot of shit before. I could tell the nurse wasn’t going to be moved.
“Ma’am the law states that if the father has been recognized that he is the child’s next of kin, not you. I understand that you are going through a rough time having lost your daughter, but you can’t block his access to his child.” The nurse was speaking in a soothing tone and I wondered how often she’d been put in situations like this over the years. She was probably in her mid-forties or fifties with salt and pepper hair and deep brown skin. She seemed kind but also looked like she ain’t take any shit.
“Well then, we will deny it!” Her father folded his arms like common knowledge could just be withdrawn because it’s what he wanted.
“It’s been in every paper. Your daughter was all too happy to announce it to the world and try to slander his name and ruin his image. Now, it’s coming back to bite you all. I have the information on my phone in case anyone here in the hospital needs it. Lying right now is the last thing you want to do.” I shouldn’t have been surprised Billy had my ass covered but I was thankful she’d come with me. I’d have been arrested in this muthafucka and making another headline my team would have to clear up.
“Sir, if you would follow me, I can let you in.” The nurse was being kind and attempting to get me out of the situation but she didn’t know that I wasn’t sure which situation was worse.
“We should be—”
“Ma’am, if you keep up I will have you escorted out of the building. That means you won’t be able to say goodbye to your daughter. I understand you’re suffering a great loss, but rules are rules. I’m not risking my job simply because you want to deny him his rights. Pick your next words and actions carefully.”
I didn’t care what option they picked as long as they stayed out of my face. This shit was stressful. I wasn’t even sure what I was here for. I just knew I was supposed to be here. The pull to knowing I had a genetic part of me in this world was strong no matter how they got here.
Shit, I didn’t even know if I had a son or a daughter.
I felt a hand on my back and knew it was Billy. She was trying to get me to feel at peace with this, but I wasn’t sure I ever would be. My mental was all fucked up and I wasn’t sure if there was a reason I would ever be good with how my life had shifted.
I took a deep breath and strolled into the room more confidently than I actually felt. Without looking behind me, I knew Billy was giving me this moment to myself and she stayed outside to make sure that girl’s people stayed away from me. She would also observe any of the shit they did so that she could have a witness to their behavior.
“I’m sorry that you’re having this issue. I’m Alyse and I’m going to be on duty for the rest of the afternoon.”
“Hi, I’m Aldrich.”
She smiled at me like she knew who I was and just nodded toward the sink in the corner.
“You can wash your hands and then reach in and touch her. She had a few issues so we’re going to be keeping her for a fewdays for observation. It doesn’t help that she was born several weeks early but she’s a little fighter.”
I nodded, taking in what she was telling me and knowing I was going to need someone to help me. Alyse had said she, so I had a daughter who needed me. After I washed my hands, I walked over to the incubator that was furthest away from the door. I was grateful they attempted to give her some privacy given our situation. The baby inside the incubator was small, with skin a few shades lighter than mine but a head full of hair that was all me.
“I’ve never seen a baby born with so much hair. Good Lord.” Billy’s voice was a whisper as she looked at the baby in awe. I didn’t know when she’d come in but she seemed to think something about my baby was odd.
“You look like you want to jump in and pick her up.”
“I definitely do. It doesn’t matter that I have four at home. Looking at a new baby every woman who has a heart wants to at least get a whiff of the little one. There’s nothing like a new baby smell.”
Billy’s voice sounded awed and her eyes were filled with adoration. I wondered if she was gonna be fighting me for my baby.
“At least one of us is going to be happy to have her.” And I felt terrible that my fear and my confusion were outweighing any joy at my daughter’s life.
“It’ll come Money. Be easy on yourself because right now, you’re all she has.”
That stuck with me. Knowing that she needed me and I was all she had. I could do that. Build a bond from her needing me. That part I knew how to do. Everything else I could prayerfully figure out as time went on.
I reached into the little porthole-type thing on the incubator and used my finger to touch hers softly. My world shrank so thatit included only the two of us. As I stroked her tiny hand, my heart cracked open.
