“What signs did you think you were going to see? Aldrich is a very proud man and he takes his position as head of his family very seriously. He has let you into this part of his life and I think that shows a strength that he doesn’t realize he has.” Aldrich’sface went blank at Doc’s words and I was nodding and squeezing his hand even tighter.
“He’s the strongest man I know.”
“How do you feel about her saying that, Money?”
“That it’s not true.” When he shifted like he wanted to move away from me I refused to let him. If I were doing the wrong thing I was sure Doc would’ve chastised me but he stayed silent.
“How can you not be? I feel so bad because…did I pressure you into—”
“No, everything between us has been healing. I told you I didn’t like people in my space anymore after what happened but I wanted you in it. Your presence was healing and not a codependent type of thing. It’s like… you just make the noise stop. Even in a way my people can’t. It’s not that corny-ass peace that people talk about because you can be hell when needed, Ling. But you’re… comfort in human form. I see you and my body relaxes on its own volition. When you first came around I wondered what it was about you. And then I didn’t care because your vibe was so good and I wanted you to like me because I felt like I might ruin the side of you that made you who you were. But after I snapped at you that one night I had to reverse course and get back to being the Aldrich that could look in the mirror. The one who didn’t hide away or run from good things. I talked to Doc and stopped beating myself up over things I couldn’t control and other people’s opinions. And then you were there just being you and that shit was a balm to my soul.”
“Does the unconventional way that you all were paired together give you apprehension?” Doc asked me that question like I wasn’t crying over how Aldrich had expressed himself so easily.
“Sometimes. I mean, I’m his daughter’s nanny.”
Aldrich huffed like I had him fucked up but the truth was the truth. “You know what’s crazy? I don’t even see you as hernanny. I told you that long ago. You’re her mother. She smiles for you, reaches for you, hell she damn near likes you more than she likes me some days.”
“Aldrich—”
“You've gotta stop crying, Ling. You’re going to give me a complex.” His eyes looked watery and if a tear fell I was going to be sobbing.
“You just said that you think of me as Ami’s mother and I’m giving you a complex? You called me a balm to your soul and that’s something I’d never heard. I was the kid nobody wanted to deal with. That is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me.”
Aldrich wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close, and I cried without shame. Doc reached over and pressed tissues into my hand and I took them and gave him a grateful nod.
“I want you to know that I had a big question to ask you. It’s not the question, not yet, because I know I have to continue to prove to you each day that we can handle all of this. I know I have to shelter you from the storm of the media. I have to deal with it because it’s my job, but my job is also to protect you in any way I can from it. I’ll never slack on that.”
I gave him a watery smile as he kissed my forehead. I was letting his words sink in. He knew he was going to ask me the question. That he wasn’t stalling but ensuring that the two of us were well equipped to handle the spotlight and what it would bring. This was the type of planning that so many men didn’t do. They rushed and then got frustrated when they fumbled a blessing. I was more than happy to go through the process of love because anything worth having is worth working hard for. And that’s what love was. It was a commitment that you woke up everyday to make. The heady rush of emotion was the simple part of it. Being in love was like being in the trenches with your partner and no matter how ugly it got, you never wanted to bethere with anyone but them. That’s how I felt about Aldrich. It was only solidified the night we thugged it out when Ami was sick.
“What did you want to ask me?”
“How would you feel about adopting Ami?”
My sob was immediate, audible and from my soul. I covered my face with my hands and cried overwhelmed that he wanted this type of permanence with me. This was something that gave me a title that surpassed being his wife in her life. More than an employee. I’d be her parent in every form but blood and the paperwork would be there. No matter what happened with us, he was offering me a forever bond with the daughter we’d raised together and I would never say no to that.
“I…I would love that. Are you sure?”
“I am. This with us feels permanent but I know that even a ring on your finger and all our last names matching doesn’t mean as much as the paper that will bear your name as her mother. You might not like my ass in twenty years and although I’d never be trifling enough to keep her from you, this is me being in love with you enough and vulnerable enough to share the greatest blessing that God ever gave me. I’m thankful everyday that you love us the way you do and I want a lifetime of us returning that love to you tenfold, Sterling.”
He wrapped me up in his arms and just hugged me close to his chest as he spoke affirmations and love over me. My sobs were quieted, no more than a constant stream down my cheeks until I could finally gather myself.
“I think you’re handling this entire situation much better than you thought you would when you first came in, Money.”
“You can only go up from being an asshole, Doc.”
“That’s true. That behavior was a simple coping mechanism. It was never who you really were.”
“Thank you for letting us speak with you. And for the Kleenex.”
“You’re more than welcome, Sterling. One thing I want to add. You’re not wrong to feel how you do about her egg donor. She wasn’t a good person and her absence from Earth doesn’t allow people the opportunity to rewrite the harm she did while she was here. She doesn’t get to be made a saint so guilt over your emotions isn’t necessary.”
“But her daughter—”
“Your daughter. You love her. You’ve raised her. She would’ve used that precious baby to manipulate Aldrich and the media because she already was. And despite the person that you’ve learned she was, you still see the product of her womb and haven’t loved her any less. In my eyes, you’re an amazing woman and an even better mother for that, Sterling.”
I was nodding and the tears were falling again. These two men were hellbent on having my eyes swollen by the time we left this office.
“Thank you.”
