He raised his eyebrows understanding why I was worried. “It be like that sometimes. But you gotta make the wrong step with the right intentions. You might hurt her pride by wanting to take care of her, but it’s better that she knows you’re willing to do that. And when you don’t falter then she can be more comfortable letting it continue. Billy had long money. I never cared about what she had but I knew it made her feel invested and secure to contribute.”
“So you let her?”
He looked like I’d completely insulted him and I almost laughed at the look on his face. “Absolutely not.”
I laughed but I needed advice that was proven to work not somedo as I sayshit. “Then respectfully what the fuck you telling me to do that shit for,Murda?”
“I mean I had to beat a few people’s asses and Mina had to fight a court case and shit. I don’t wish that on y’all. After that, I put a ring on her finger and a baby in her belly. That little one didn’t make it earth side but I was going to spoil Mina with thoughts, words and deeds to where she had no other man that could begin to compare to me.”
“Damn maybe I haven’t been intentional enough.”
“Y’all already got the baby. This little one is doing half the heavy lifting for you with keeping her around. But what you need to understand is make it more than that. Make sure she knows it’s more than just Ami who wants her, you do too, right?”
“Hell yeah. Sterling makes me feel again. For the longest time, I didn’t think I would ever get back to being me. I didn’t want to feel and then this shit with Ami happened. She doesn’t judge me. Walked me through that shit and she saw me at my worst. But it was her ability not to judge me that really was the reason I kicked myself in the ass to do better. I never wanted her to feel like she had to pull me out of this shit with my daughter. But I can’t say she didn’t show me how fucked up I was being.”
Murda was grinning again as I spilled my guts, and I clearly had his approval.
“Then just like you are when you see the end zone and you've got an opponent trying to block you: don’t let anything stand in your way from your goal.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Thankful
STERLING
ALDRICH HAD BEEN acting weird since we’d gotten back from the Grayson’s Halloween party. We’d spent more time with one another because of the bye week and headed out to have a brief vacation in California. I’d been plenty of times before but this was different. This was someone who loved the area and had lived in all the places he’d shown me. We stayed in a hotel but made sure to spend plenty of time with Miss Sonya and the twins. Aldrich visited his old high school and they were more than eager to have him speak to their team. Ami and I watched, well I watched Ami napped, as he motivated the team to have a good practice. They hung on his every word and then the entire family got together to watch Cassie’s volleyball game. His mother insisted that we go out on a date and instead of driving into LA, which would only bring a bunch of attention to us, we found a small local sushi spot and chilled. It was honestly an amazing night and I hated when we had to head back to Texas because I really enjoyed spending time with his family.
We were getting everything put away and organized when he told me we needed to talk. My heart had been in my ass the entire time we’d gotten Ami ready for bed. I went to shower in the bathroom by her room just to give myself time to think. I just knew he was going to break my heart after an amazing week and I was trying to brace myself for this.
Could this all have been a game to him?
He’d sent a text to my phone to come to the bedroom when I was done and I was taking my time, dreading the inevitable.
I finally pulled on my big-girl panties and took the walk to the other hallway and noticed there was an odd light coming from inside. When I opened the door I was shocked at what I was seeing. Rich sat with his head down damn near to his chest, as the light flickered over him.
“You wanted to talk?”
He nodded slowly before he motioned for me to come into the room. Part of me wanted to tell him I’d been good by the door but he seemed to desire me being close to him so I let it ride.
I took a few steps to satisfy him before I paused and waited to hear what he needed to say.
He sighed and I braced myself for what he was going to say.
“I told you that Ami’s conception was…coerced.”
My heart started to race because we never spoken about this. Not since the first night I triggered him or after he told me the truth about Ami’s egg donor.
“Yes, you did. Is there something you’re leaving out?”
“No, it’s the truth. I’ve been thinking about our relationship a lot and wondering if you see me differently because of what you know.”
“We’ve discussed this.”
“I have a favor to ask of you.”
“Okay, what is it?”
“Would you like to come to one of my sessions with Doc? We never talk about what happened and I know you have feelings about it. I feel like we've gotta clear the air before we move forward.”
