She could tell her words landed hard. She could practically see the thoughts running through his mind.
“Yeah, I hear you,” he said. “I’ve got to get to the studio. You want to meet me there later? Day would kill to lay down something for you. He’s been talking about the girl who stole the showcase non-stop. I can make that dream a reality, Bird.”
“I can’t. I have my dad’s anniversary dinner and then a set at the club,” she said. “Like you, I have my own issues with my father. He’s an asshole, but I kind of have to show up. Stassi will kill me if I don’t. Would you want to come? I mean, I’m not big on introducing people to my family, but if I’m going to be here with you, they should meet you, right?”
Demi grimaced as the idea of meeting her folks turned him off.
“I mean, you don’t have to; I just hate the way my dad’s wife picks me apart. I never have an ally at that table,” she said chuckling. “Stassi’s too afraid to stand up to her mom and my dad is too far up her ass. Just thought you could keep me company, but it’s cool. I get it.”
“How about you do your family thing and I handle my business and we link after that?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yeah, that’s cool.” He heard the disappointment in her voice, but Demi couldn’t be out here meeting parents. They were already crossing lines. What should have been low-key was becoming very blatant. He would have to remind himself that Charlie wasn’t his home. He was playing pretend with her, investing in something he knew would eventually end.
“What about my old place, Demi? I’m in a lease. I can’t just...”
“You telling me a lot about what you can’t do, Bird,” he answered. “Unlearn that shit. You can do whatever you want to do. Whatever is in the way can be removed. I’ll pay out your lease on the other spot. Do you want to live here?” he asked.
“With you? Or by myself?” she asked. “Is this our place, Demi? Or mine?”
“It’s whatever you want it to be. Your name is on it, Bird,” he replied.
She paused, thinking. It was crazy to move in with Demi. Charlie liked her space. Her solace. Her old apartment was her piece of safety. She had designed it to be exactly that, a refuge from harm. This new place was luxury, but it was cold. It was too perfect. Too clean. Demi would want it to stay that way. Charlie needed to dirty it up a little, live in it, for it to be her new safe haven.
“Can it just be mine for a little while? I just don’t want to rush into living together. I need my own space,” Charlie answered. “Is that ungrateful? I don’t want to seem ungrateful.”
“Whatever you want,” he said. He pulled back. “I got to get dressed and get out of here. Enjoy your dinner with your people. I’ma call you later.”
Lauren felt her life slipping from beneath her. If Demi had never been anything else, he had been consistent. Lately, inconsistencies had been his routine. She had never had to wonder where he was. She had never stayed up late at night questioning his intentions, his fidelity, but as she watched Demi walk through the front door, she could feel the shift.
“DJ! Your dad is here to take you to school!” she shouted.
“Yes!” DJ shouted as hurried steps echoed through the house.
“Lo,” Demi started.
Lauren shook her head and held up one hand in protest to stop him from speaking. “Just take him to school, Demi,” she said. “I have a client that can’t wait this morning, so whatever lie you’re about to tell, I don’t have time to hear it.”
Her eyes were red. He knew she had been crying and it made him feel like shit. She didn’t deserve this.
“DJ, wait for Daddy in the car,” Demi said.
“Okay, Dad,” his son replied. Demi and Lauren waited until they heard the garage door close before saying one word.
“This is not okay,” Lauren said. “The disrespect. The coming and going when you want to. The bullshit explanations about where you have been. I am not okay with this. I don’t know how we even got here. Things were fine and then they weren’t, but you need to get your shit together. My son should not be asking me where you are. He has never had to question why you are gone all the time. Never had to fight for your time. Neither have I. You know he has a game tonight. Are you even going to show up for that? Or do I need to start looking for excuses to explainyour absence? You know what I gave up to be with you, Demi. I don’t have anyone but you and DJ. My entire family disowned me because I chased behind you when you were in the streets. Are you throwing me away now? I chose you and now I’m old news, so you just throwing 15 years away? Because that’s what it feels like. It feels like you’re abandoning me.”
“I’ma be there, Lo. When have I ever not been at one of his games?” he asked. He thought of the promises he had made her over the years. She had always put him first. She had defied her entire family to run away with him. When he was worth nothing, had nothing, but a hustle and a dream, she had been patient, while he built an empire. “I’m not throwing you away.” Guilt forced the lie out of his mouth. He had never liked to hurt her. Her tears crippled Demi, but he couldn’t help but compare his connection to Lauren to what he shared with Charlie. He was present for Lauren but even she followed his rules. Limited touching, designing a life around his preferences. Their home barely looked lived in it had to be so spotless. Their life was sterile. Safe. Charlie was a beautiful mess. Still, Lauren didn’t deserve to be abandoned. They were family, one that had withstood the test of time. He had walked into his home with every intention of telling her he needed a break, but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t pull out on her. “It’s just work. Trying to help Day with the company and the street shit and breaking a new artist.”
“Work?” Lauren repeated. “This doesn’t feel like a work problem, Demi. It feels like there is someone else. Like another woman is breaking up my home.”
“I want you to stop worrying. Ain’t nobody breaking up shit. I wouldn’t let that happen. I’m here, ain’t I? I’m home, Lo. Look,” he said, blowing out a breath of frustration as he swiped one hand down his head. “You got your meeting. I don’t want to send you out in the world like this,” he said. If it were Charlie,he would hug her; he didn’t know why he had so many rules for Lauren. They lacked intimacy. He was hard with her. What he once thought was soft was ice cold and callous. He didn’t know soft until he experienced it with Charlie.
“DJ’s going to be late for school. Go ahead, I’m fine,” Lauren said, wiping her tears away with the back of her hands and rolling her eyes to the ceiling to get them to stop. “If you say it’s work, I’ll believe you. It’s work, right?”
“Just work.”
Demi felt like he was suffocating inside the house and he was grateful when he stepped outside.
He got in his car and pulled off, rubbing the back of his son’s head as he reversed out of the driveway.
