But for the first time in years, I felt something sharp enough to cut through the numbness.
One
Mya
“You need to loosen up, Mya. All you do is teach and sleep. When the hell do you do anything fun?” Jenny rolled her eyes and took another sip of wine.
We were sitting in my living room with a bottle of wine and a cheese board that looked way more impressive on Pinterest than on my coffee table. Some chick flick played in the background, long forgotten as the conversation spiraled toward the same topic it always did: my social life. Or lack thereof. It was girls’ night, and since it was my turn to choose, I decided on a night in. It’s what I always picked and what I’m comfortable with, but that meant my friends got to make fun of me for it every chance they got. It wasn’t that I didn’t like going out. It was just so loud. I got overstimulated, and the night ended up draining my social battery. Staying at home was easier for me.
“I have fun,” I said, stabbing a cube of cheese a little too aggressively. “Just because I don’t want to scream over bad club music or sweat through a crowded room full of strangers doesn’t mean I’m boring.”
“Right,” said Kara, lying on the floor with a glass in her hand. “You know what’s boring? Explaining fractions to eight-year-olds for the tenth time in a week.”
“I like explaining fractions,” I muttered.
“Mya, babe,” Amber chimed in from the couch. “You’ve been stuck in the same loop since college. Teach, sleep, overthink, rinse, repeat.”
“I don’t overthink,” I started to say, but they all stared at me.
Okay, maybe I overthoughta little.Or a lot. It was part of having ADHD. My brain was like a browser with twenty tabs open and at least five of them playing music. Half the time I couldn’t remember what I walked into a room for, but I could tell you the square root of 225 and recite the lunch schedule for every day of the week.
Jenny leaned forward. “Look. One night. One club. That’s all we’re asking. Come out with us. Just once.”
“I don’t even have anything to wear,” I tried.
Amber stood, already making her way to my closet. “That’s a lie, and you know it.”
Kara grinned. “You promised us not to let you die alone. Well, this is us helping you!”
I groaned, head falling back against the couch. My brain was already spiraling, thinking about going to aclub. The noise, the lights, the people, the way I’d end up hyper-aware of every conversation around me and none of them at the same time. But I also hadn’t had anything to drink in a while, and the wine made me feel lighter.
Maybe I could just go for a little bit. One drink. Dance to a couple songs. Then Irish goodbye my way home before midnight.
“…Fine,” I said finally, waving them off as they erupted into cheers. “One night. But if I lose my hearing or get beer spilled on me, I’m making you all do classroom duty with me next week.”
Jenny smirked. “Deal. Now go change into something that screams,fun elementary school teacher,and not,I’m here for a PTA meeting.”
* * *
When we all got out of the Uber, the building was so dark, it looked almost hidden. Like if you didn’t know it was here, you wouldn’t have known. I couldn’t even tell where we were or the name of the place. My stomach was doing little flips, nerves setting in with each step we took. I really wish I never let them convince me of this.
“Where are we?” I asked any of them. But of course, they just gave me a sly little giggle and told me to follow them.
When we walked in, it looked more like a hotel lobby than a club. Which instantly made me more nervous. Why the hell was it set up like this? There was no music, the lights were bright, and nothing about it screamedclub. It was too clean and quiet.
“Jenny,” I said, turning to her with a pointed look. “Wherearewe?”
“It’s an exclusive club, so to keep everyone safe, you have to check in.”
“Uh, okay?” I shrugged. Not exactly knowing how I felt about this, but knowing I didn’t want to be here.
The other girls went up to the desk, seeming like they’ve been here a hundred times and knew what they were doing. Meanwhile, I was lost. I slowly made my way to them while Amber was getting a blue band put on her and turning in her phone.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
The woman behind the desk offered a polite smile as she locked Amber’s phone away behind her. “Have you been here before?”
“Uh, no.” I shook my head.
