Matt blushed, eyed the empty chair longingly.
Mercifully, Bella let him join the four other contestants.
Bella teased and flirted with all five guys. Nicknamed each of them. Paul was “Magnum” because, in his Hawaiian shirt, he supposedly looked like Tom Selleck.
Bella refilled her Dixie cup with vodka, offered to share with her five new “boyfriends.”
Matt took a big gulp, passed the cup to the guy next to him, and so on.
While the cup was working its way back to her, Bella addressed the audience.
“Dixie cups at parties. Always disappearing. Know what I mean? You fix yourself a nice drink, set it down for just a minute to go give a guy a blowjob, and when you come back some old hag is drinking from your cup!”
Laughter.
“So, what do you do when you don’t want old hags taking your property?”
“MARK IT!” The audience yelled. Hooted and yelled. They obviously knew this part.
Bella nodded. “Yep. MARK IT!”
By this time the Dixie cup had been returned to her. She retrieved the tube of lipstick from the small table, applied it generously to her lips, and then pressed her mouth to the cup’s side, imprinting the blue plastic with a distinct lip-shaped smear.
“That’s my mark!” she said, holding the cup high for the audience to see. “I better not catch any old hags drinking from it now!”
Loud laughter.
She eyed the five contestants suspiciously. “Or young fags!” she said. “Keep your mitts off my property!”
More laughter.
Bella set the cup down, then hesitated. Looked at her chest. Frowned. Pushed the left breast back into place. “Just double checking,” she said, gazing at the audience. “None of you dudes is a dyke with some duct tape, right?”
She waited a beat. “I only ask because some people are very good at passing as the opposite sex. Just sayin.’”
The audience loved her.
The guy sitting at the keyboard started playing soft music.
Bella gave up on her left breast, addressed the five contestants in the chairs. Told them to get on their knees and open their mouths. Walked up to each one, assessing angles—contestant’s mouth in relation to her crotch. Joked that two of the guys would need to kneel on phone books, of which she had none.
Bella dismissed the two short contestants, kissed them magnanimously, and declared that the bartender would give them a free drink—if they could reach that high.
The keyboard music grew a little louder, more insistent.
“Hear that music?” Bella asked the audience. “That’s my cue to sing. First, though, I need you to help me pick which of these three remaining boys is going to be my—” (Big exaggerated wink) “—dance partner later!”
Loud cheering from the audience.
Bella turned to Matt, Paul, and the other remaining contestant. “Okay boys, take off your shirts!”
The crowd went wild.
Matt, Paul, and Other Guy stared at each other, unwilling to be thefirst to comply.
“Come on boys!” Bella urged. “Don’t be shy. You were going to be bare-assed by midnight anyway. Don’t try denying it. This is the Sooner state, right? Just get shirtless sooner!”
Paul shrugged out of his Hawaiian outer shirt, peeled off his t-shirt. Stood there with his rounded shoulders and soft belly, radiating confidence.
