Adam took it, began reading.
Matt could have stopped there—maybe should have stopped there—but he didn’t. He leaned down, dropped one hand to Adam’s shoulder, and with the other hand pointed out various signatures.
Adam flinched at the touch, looked up, searched Matt’s face, then smiled.
Matt squeezed his shoulder reassuringly, then removed his hand.
Adam’s eyes flicked away and his smile faded. It had been a momentary, fleeting thing, but Matt’s heart raced all the same.
An hour later, Matt and Josh said their goodbyes—only after they’d eaten a proper lunch of tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches.
Call-me-Janet swept Matt into a hug, thanking him profusely for coming. She released him and pulled Josh into her arms.
Adam stood there in his pajamas, small and frail, still hiding his left wrist.
“May I hug you?” Matt asked him.
Adam nodded meekly.
Matt embraced him gently, whispered in his ear. “I don’t know how I’ll do it, but I’m going to get you readmitted to MCU by next fall.”
Adam just stood there, blinking.
Driving away from Ponca City, the Conoco refinery in his rearview mirror, Matt smiled at his memories of Adam.
A thought niggled at the edges of his brain, asking how much of his promise to Adam had to do with giving Adam something to hope for versus how much had been his own selfish wish to have Adam on campus by his side, his to kiss, his to ravish.
“Can I ask you a question?” he said to Josh.
“It’s about Adam, isn’t it?”
“What makes you think that?”
Josh laughed. “You’re not as subtle as you think. Touching his shoulder? Hugging him at the end? And I heard what you whispered to him.”
Matt was flustered. “I just think he got a raw deal. I’d do this for any student who attempted suicide.” He turned on his blinkers, passed a van that was tooling along.
Josh studied the road ahead. “You probably would take a card to any student going through a rough time. You’re thoughtful like that. You took a card to thatregistrar lady…”
“But?” Matt prompted. There was an obvious “but” coming.
“But, let’s be honest. Something changed once you met Adam. You’re attracted to him. There’s nothing wrong with that per se. He’s sweet and hot in his own way. Not my type, but that’s alright.”
Matt sighed. “Okay, sure, I like him. He’s kind of hot.”
“He’s also fragile. Now is not the time to be hitting on him, and it isn’t the time to be giving him false hope.”
“False hope?”
“I’m pretty sure MCU has never, ever in its 50+ year existence readmitted anyone—certainly not a fag. It isn’t going to happen.”
Matt clenched his jaw. There was a first time for everything.
“See that side road?” Josh asked, pointing. “Turn onto it.”
Matt obeyed, but he was watching the clock. He had to get back in time for soccer practice. He’d known it would be a tight turnaround for this trip, had known he’d be missing all his classes, plus chapel. He had to be back by 2:00 for soccer, though. He could not miss that, could not even be late. He was already on Coach’s shitlist.
“Let’s keep it between us that Adam’s mom knows we’re gay,” Josh said. “William would worry about that.”
