Yoo-hoo
The shower doors flung open. Those four guys thrust their hips, waggling their cocks.
Yoo-hoo
Sink guys again.
Yoo-hoo
Once more from the shower guys.
It was a call-and-response of one group’s “wormy, one-eyed birds” versus the other group’s.
Matt laughed so hard, he couldn’t catch his breath, couldn’t join in the singing. This was outrageous and glorious—and hilariously homo-erotic, even though all of these guys were straight and most of them were not particularly prime specimens, all things considered. Paunches on some, small cocks on others—all in serious need of landscaping.
It was a heady moment (pun intended) for Matt. Everyone of these guys had begun the year self-consciously hiding his pecker from prying eyes. Had been shocked by Matt’s casual nudity.
They would have been scandalized had they known he was uncomfortable in his own skin sexually, that the seemingly self-assured jock, whose swagger they aped, was really a faggot.
They had all (Matt and his dormmates) changed and grown, and this was their celebration of their accomplishments.
Matt loved these guys. There was a certain intimacy that arose from sharing a dorm and its communal bathroom—seeing and smelling each other’s true selves. Seth was his favorite. Still, he wouldn’t dream of telling any of them he was gay.
Only one straight guy on campus could be trusted with that secret: Idabel, and even he had initially balked, summoning both religious and small-town bigotry to support his disgust. It had required Debbie’s intervention to restore their friendship. And, even then, Matt had had to assure Idabel that he wasn’t attracted to him. What was it about straight guys that made them think every gay guy wanted them? Really?
Matt joined the shower queue guys for the next bit.
Freshman year is now behind us
Yoo-hoo
Sophomores we’ll be, Thus
Yoo-hoo
We sing Adios
Adios
To you!
Then came the chorus.
Shalom, Kwaheri
Do skorogo, Hwyl fawr
We’re running late
It’s almost chapel hour!
Everyone:
It’s really quite absurb
That our wormy, one-eyed birds
Keep peeking out to say…
