Matt smiled. One thing he appreciated about Garland was his panache. The way he said “branding” left you wondering if he meant business-wise or S&M-wise. Either way, the guy delivered.
“If you’re calling about the petition for a legal name change,” Garland said, “we should have a court date soon.”
“That’s good to know, but that’s not why I’m calling,” Matt said.
“Come by my office, then, and we’ll talk about it in person,” Garland said. “It’s Friday afternoon. We’ll go to dinner, then to my house for drinks. I have some new toys I’d love to show you.”
Matt laughed. Where bondage was concerned, Garland had a one-track mind.
“I’m sending a new client your way,” Matt said. “Expect a call between 7-8:00 tonight.”
“This better be a paying client,” Garland said. “The name change and Debbie’s case were freebies. Those don’t pay the bills.”
Matt wasn’t having it. “You said yourself that the media coverage from Debbie’s case was better than $50,000 in paid advertising.”
“It was. Will this new client get me on theTodayshow again?”
“Maybe,” said Matt. “It’s Bella Bottoms.”
“The drag queen?”
Matt grinned. “The one and only. She’ll be calling from the police station.”
Garland seemed suddenly interested. “Police station? Why?”
“She’ll—”
“Stop!” Garland interrupted. “On second thought don’t answer that question. Now, choose your words carefully. I can think of a few ways someone would be 100% certain that another person would be at a police station, clairvoyance being one, conspiracy being another. And you’re a lot of things Matt—handsome, sexy as fuck—but clairvoyant you’re not.”
Matt was confused. “Do you remember a couple of months ago when I asked you a hypothetical legal question?”
“Yes. You were curious to understand the law. You weren’t planning anything, right? Yes or no.”
“No,” Matt lied. “But my understanding of your answer was that conspiracy to commit a misdemeanor is no big deal. Just a misdemeanor.”
“Correct,” said Garland, “in reference to the people involved in that conspiracy. As a lawyer, though, if I learn about a conspiracy, even one to commit a misdemeanor, I have ethical obligations that kick in. So, let me ask this question: Are you involved in a conspiracy? Yes or no.”
“No.” Another lie.
“I’m relieved to hear that. So, if I’m understanding you correctly, you just called to tell me that Bella Bottoms is in town, right?”
“Yes.”
Matt heard liquid pouring, ice cubes plopping, knew enough about cocktails now to know Garland wasn’t making his signature Manhattan. “Are you drinking on thejob?” Matt asked.
“Yes. Whiskey, on the rocks. I don’t have time to mix anything,” said Garland. Something about this conversation has made me thirsty.”
Matt waited while Garland took a couple of noisy gulps.
“Now,” Garland said, “I believe you were telling me that Bella Bottoms asked you for the name of a good attorney. Is that right?”
“Yes.”
Another pause while Garland took a drink.
“Here’s the thing about police,” Garland said. “They carry guns and clubs, and, where people like us are involved, they tend to err on the side of violence. I advise my clients to avoid them, if possible.”
Matt felt a sudden cold knot in his stomach.
