Kevin leaned in her direction again, very close to her left shoulder. He found himself studying her, the graceful curve of her neck, the way her lashes fanned out when she blinked. He was becoming more enchanted by the second and it had nothing to do with that seductive cider.
“Do you always do what your father says?” he asked quietly.
She looked at him in surprise, not at all distressed that he was so close to her. She could feel the heat from his body and her heart began to race. “Didn’t you?”
She had him. He chuckled. “My life and career have been built on obedience,” he said. “But that’s just me. I am not you, and your brother did not obey your father. He is probably happy with his older wife. He is probably very glad he disobeyed his father.”
“I will be sure to ask him when I see him.”
She was eyeing him with some disapproval for bringing up her brother since that was her family’s sad folly, but he didn’t back down.
“I hope you do,” he said. “Ask him if he would have been happier obeying the man, sitting alone and wondering about the life that could have been with the woman he loved, or if he is happier living his life with the woman he chose.”
Juliandra knew what he was driving at, that perhaps obeying one’s parent risked personal happiness, but he was rambling somewhat drunkenly. Not hugely, but enough to be noticeable. After a moment, she simply shook her head.
“Burke was young and inexperienced,” she said. “Surely you have more wisdom than he did. Sometimes we cannot always have what we want.”
“I would not know. There hasn’t been anything I wanted badly enough, personally, to fight for it.”
“But you fought for William Marshal,” she said. “Surely, you fought for things that were important to you.”
He shrugged, taking another drink of that potent cider. “My beliefs were my own, but I fought for a man I was sworn to,” he said. “I fought whomever he told me to fight. But I cannot ever remember fighting for something that personally meant something to me. I’ve always been a tool for others. Never for myself.”
There was something sad in that declaration. At least, Juliandra thought so. Kevin was a career knight, but that career had always been devoted to others. Never to himself.
Until now.
“You are the Lord of the Trilaterals,” she said. “I am sure, at some point, you will fight for something personal, for something you believe in or something you wish to keep as your own. Or mayhap you will fight for peace. That is a noble cause, is it not?”
Kevin was lingering on the fact that he’d always done everyone else’s bidding and never his own. He’d been right when he told Juliandra that he’d always been a tool, someone who followed orders more than gave them.
But that had changed.
“Peace is always the noble cause,” he said, struggling to focus on her question. “My family has always fought for peace and victory. It is a way of life. But to be truthful, I’d like a little less fighting and a little more peace. I cannot recall when I’ve enjoyed it at any stretch. You told me that you’d never experienced a battle. That is all I’ve ever known.”
Juliandra wasn’t quite sure to say to him. He seemed almost… lost. With a new English king on the throne, and a new title given to him by his brother, he’d reached a new and unfamiliar point in his life. She could see that tender heart in him, more than ever before, and it touched her.
Impulsively, she reached out and put her hand on his arm.
“Youwillknow peace,” she said. “It may not be at Wybren, for you are in the middle of Welsh territory, but I am sure onceyou return to Trelystan, you will know peace. It seems to me that you have earned it.”
Kevin looked at her hand on his arm. She had pale skin and slender fingers with little nails on the tips, uneven but clean. He was still looking at her hands when he spoke.
“You have not yet answered me,” he said. “Would you be agreeable to a marriage?”
Juliandra could see where he was looking. Her hand was still on his arm and she could have pulled it away, but she didn’t. She didn’t answer, either, and when he finally dared to look up at her, she simply smiled coyly and looked away. Kevin thought it might have been an affirmative answer but he was prevented from pursuing it as the minstrels suddenly appeared at the table, strumming on their instruments.
“Lady of the House,” the man with the citole said. “I am told you can sing like an angel. Will you sing for us, please?”
Those that heard the question began to roar in approval and Juliandra began to turn red in the face, embarrassed that the attention was on her. Kevin, a grin on his lips, stood up and pulled her to her feet. As she weakly protested, he put his hands on her waist and lifted her right up onto the table.
“Sing,” he commanded softly.
She looked at him, still reluctant. “But…”
He winked at her. “Sing for me.”
That wink gave her pause. It was sweet and subtle, but there was something deeper about it.
