Difficult, indeed.
“Very well,” she said softly. “If you are going to cry about it.”
He nodded firmly. “Iwillcry,” he said. “I’ll cry buckets and then you’ll be sorry.”
She laughed. “No need,” she said. “The name given to me by my mother is Olivia.”
His smile blossomed. “Olivia,” he repeated as if it were the most beautiful name he’d ever heard. “Lady Olivia, it is a pleasure to finally meet you.”
She dipped her head demurely. “And you, my lord,” she said. “I will tell you more if you wish.”
He knew telling him her name had been a supreme act of trust. He appreciated it deeply. But he didn’t want to push her.
“I will listen to whatever you wish to tell me,” he said. “If your name is all you wish to share, then I am satisfied.”
She was still holding his hand. Or perhaps he was still holding hers. Whichever it was, she released his fingers and looped her arm through his elbow companionably. She just stood there, holding his arm, gazing out to the river beyond.
“Desdra has made me realize something,” she said.
He was enchanted simply watching her profile. “What is that?”
“Time is short,” she said simply. “There is no time to waste in life with rules or hesitation or resistance. I learned that life was short enough when my husband was killed. His name was Brenner le Kerque and he was a knight for the Earls of East Anglia, the House of du Reims. You see, my father is Humphrey de Bohun, the Earl of Essex. He was allied with du Reims, and Lord du Reims used to visit my father all the time, especiallywhen Simon de Montfort was gaining power. Brenner used to come with Lord du Reims, as his most trusted knight, and I fell in love with him. My father was horrified, of course, and disowned me when I announced my intention to marry him. We had a few very happy years, and two beautiful girls, before he was killed at Evesham.”
Orion had been listening intently. “No wonder you have such elegance about you,” he said. “You are an earl’s daughter.”
She turned to him. “I am,” she said. “I was expected to make an advantageous marriage, but instead, I married for love. Now you know why I cannot go home.”
Orion understood that. He understood very well what it was to have a family you could not return to. After a moment, he grunted softly as thoughts rolled through his head, thoughts he’d not entertained in years.
“I will tell you something I’ve not told anyone,” he said. “I, too, have a father I cannot see. My family name, officially, is Payton-Forrester, but the man I call my father was not the man from whose loins I sprang.”
Anosia looked at him curiously. “What do you mean?”
He sighed faintly, looking out to the river as he collected his thoughts. “As I said, I’ve not spoken of this to anyone,” he said. “I am not even supposed to know.”
“Know what?”
“That I’m the bastard of a great northern knight.”
That didn’t clear up her confusion. “I do not understand,” she said. “Your father is not your father?”
He shook his head. “He is actually my uncle,” he said quietly. “My father, to the world, is William Payton-Forrester. I look enough like him that there are no questions, but the truth is that I am his sister’s bastard child. She had an affair with a knight by the name of Paris de Norville, who is the captain of the army for the Earl of Teviot. It’s a massive army. They are allied with theHouse of de Wolfe, who has the largest army in the north. Paris de Norville and William de Wolfe are family, as their wives are cousins.”
She nodded in understanding. “So your uncle raised you as his son to spare his sister from the shame of bearing a bastard?”
“Aye,” Orion said. “She died in childbirth, with me, and my true father, de Norville, does not know about me. He was never told.”
“Then how doyouknow?”
He smiled ironically. “Because William Payton-Forrester told me one night when he’d become ragingly drunk,” he said. “As it turned out, it was on the anniversary of my mother’s death, so he got drunk and was making threats to kill Paris de Norville. When I asked him why, as I thought they were good friends, he told me everything. He does not even remember doing so.”
Anosia gazed up at him, giving his arm a little squeeze. “And how do you feel about that?” she said. “About the life you have led as another man’s son?”
He shrugged. “I do not blame de Norville,” he said. “He does not even know. And I do not blame my father, Payton-Forrester, because he did the right thing by raising me as his own. He is a good man. I am not entirely sure why he never consciously told me the truth, however, though I suspect it was to protect his sister. I can understand that, I suppose. How do I feel? Fortunate. Fortunate that I had such an upbringing by a good family who loved me.”
Anosia smiled at the sweet sentiment. “You are, indeed, fortunate,” she said. “I was brought up in a big family by a father who was only concerned with his sons if they could make him proud. He did not give much thought to his daughters until one of them displeased him by marrying the man she loved. Icannot imagine what he would think if he knew I was here, at Aphrodite’s Feast.”
Orion put his hand over her fingers as they held his elbow. “You did what was necessary to ensure your children had food in their bellies and a roof over their heads,” he said. “Even though I do not want you entertaining for money, even I cannot fault you for being determined enough to do what was necessary so your children would not starve.”
