“I… I thought it had split or something, but…”
“Harley,isit split?”
I shook my head, and she shrugged. “So what’s the problem? We’re protected anyway, remember?”
I was staring at it again, and was it too dramatic to say I felt like a fucking sixteen year old again, staring at a failed condom, and seeing my life flash before my eyes? Even as a teen I’d known I’d have to deal with the fallout of a failed condom, and now it was happening again. Even if we’d dumbly decided we wouldn’t be that unlucky, and left it to chance. Was I destined to just impregnate every fucking woman I slept with? Sure, it wasn’t like they were the only two women, but suddenly it just felt like history was repeating itself.
“Harley, dispose of that and come to bed.”
I couldn’t seem to let it go. I couldn’t seem to bring myself back from being a teen with a lifetime’s worth of stress piling on his shoulders. I fucked up once, and I could do it again. This was something I could control, if I could just stop having sex. Ugh. I rolled my eyes at myself. Really grown up, right?
“Harley, dammit!” Caroline swiped the condom, muttering a quiet ‘ew’, and tossed it in the bin, immediately washing her hands, and then she was shoving me to the sink.
“Wash your hands, Harley. It’s fine. I promise.”
“You don’t know that,” I said through numb lips, “this is how it happened before. I… God, I’m sorry.”
Caroline practically had to shove my hands under the water, and squirt soap into them, before muscle memory caught up, and I took over.
She handed me a towel when I turned off the water, and watched as I dried them. The cold feeling was starting to dissipate, and I lifted sheepish eyes to hers as she took the towel away again.
“I just freaked out, didn’t I?”
She smiled softly, reaching up to cup my cheek. “I guess I’m not the only one with issues, huh? Harley, we’re protected, and I really don’t think what you think happened even happened. So can we go to bed, and get some sleep? My man just shagged me out, and I need rest.”
Fuck me. How did I get this lucky?
“I love you, Caroline. Not just for this, but for the million other ways you show your heart to me. Let’s get you to bed, poor little shagged out one.” I scooped her up into my arms, grinning as she let out another one of those surprised squeaks.
Caroline
I’D NEVER SEEN HIM like that, and even after we were in bed, snuggled together, I couldn’t stop it playing over and over in my head. He’d literally acted like he was shell-shocked. Like it was some kind of trauma reaction or something. Was having a child so horrific to him, or was it the way ithad probably derailed his entire life since the moment they accidentally conceived Leah?
“I’m sorry,” Harley whispered, kissing the top of my head as he hugged me to his chest.
“You did nothing wrong, but I’m guessing that was some kind of flashback? Like PTSD?”
He snorted, nuzzling my hair. “I’m not traumatised about having a daughter. Leah is… she’s fucking amazing. I guess I was just taken back to that moment. When I was a dumbass teenager, and realised I’d just fucked both our lives. I don’t feel that way now, but back then, it was like everything crashed down around me. I could practically fucking hear my life ending.”
“But instead you have an amazing daughter… even if her choice of two wheeled vehicles is a bit questionable.”
Another chuckle, another nuzzle. “I swear, she’s not getting anything faster. She might not have been planned, but she’s half of my fucking world.” What a strange thing to say.
“Half?”
“You’re the other half, babe. Can’t you tell? I’m smitten. Whipped, I guess the guys would say. Is this moving too fast for you?”
I lifted my head, almost headbutting his chin.
“It should be, right? It should feel fast, but it doesn’t. It feels like I’ve been waiting for you, Harley. Like I had to wait for a man who could see there was more to me than a messed up brain. It’s one of many reasons I fell in love with you.”
“Babe,” Harley cupped my face with both hands, and rested his forehead against mine, “there’s nothing wrong with your brain. You’re allowed to see and process things differently. Although… I mean, picking me… that’s maybe not your best braining. I’m no catch.”
I climbed on top of him, pressing my lips to his. “You’re the best catch, Harley. You’re the prince charming I’ve been waiting my whole life for.”
He kissed me gently, and dragged me back down against his chest.
“I’ll take that as a compliment, but I’m still thinking you can do better, baby. I’ll never stop trying to be worthy of you though. Now sleep, before I have to smack that little ass of yours for not taking care of yourself.”
