“I’m going to be in my bedroom with no clothes on. Either you join me there, or I’ll see you in the morning, Harley.”
I turned and left while he stood there with his mouth open, because that’s how you drop a bomb.
Chapter Seventeen
IHEARD HER BEDROOM door close behind her, and I glanced at her front door, then back at the hallway she’d vanished down. I knew what I wanted, but I was also afraid of going for it, in case she changed her mind. Not about sex, but about me. I was no catch. I was a biker in his thirties, with average looks, and that pervasive ‘cologne’ of bike shop. What she saw in me, I had no idea.
If I left though, if I walked away when she was putting everything out there, putting herself on the line, wasn’t I doing the exact opposite of empowering her? She’s risking it all, and if I leave, that’s like saying it wasn’t enough, or it wasn’t right. Or that I don’t want her.
My phone buzzed, and I dug it out of my pocket, idly swiping the screen.
Micro: You coming in tonight, man?
Fuck. We didn’t have anything scheduled for tonight, but I went there every night, didn’t I?
I glanced at the hallway again, and remembered who was waiting for me there, and my decision was made.
Me: Sorry, Pres. Something came up. I’ll be around tomorrow.
Something came up.I’ll say. The only question was whether or not I’d just made the right decision, or whether blue-balling it home would have been smarter. I left my phone on the counter beside hers, and checked her front door, making sure the locks were secure, and then I turned and headed down the hall, the light peeking out from under a door telling me which room she was in.
I hesitated when I reached the door, one hand on the handle, as I rested my forehead against it, and squeezed my eyes closed. Once I opened it, there was no going back. Even if things went well, she’d be more than just a friend. If it went badly, I was risking losing a person I really wanted to keep in my life.
Everything would change, regardless of what happened in this room tonight. But it would change regardless. If I didn’t go in, she’d be embarrassed, and wouldn’t want to face me again. I swallowed hard and turned the door handle, pushing the door open, and there she sat, not naked after all, but holding a robe closed around her.
“I should have knocked,” I said dumbly, and she shook her head.
”Iwasnaked, but you were taking so long, I thought you’d left.”
I pushed the door closed and leaned back against it, trying to calm down my racing heart, because I was in her fucking bedroom and she was naked. The fact that she thought I just left without a word was kicking me in the stomach too.
“I’d never just walk away from you.” I had to make that clear to her, because she needed to understand that she mattered to me as a person, and nothing would change that.
“I… I realise I’m putting a lot of pressure on you here,” Caroline said quietly, holding her robe closed with trembling fingers. “I don’t mean to push you like this. I just… I’ve spent my life wishing I had this courage, and now it’s here, I don’t want to waste it.”
“So if I’d been any other guy?”
Her eyes narrowed at me. “I wouldn’t feel this brave.”
Well, fuck.
I pushed away from the door and crossed the room, dropping to my knees in front of her.
“Promise me you’ll tell me if you don’t like something, or want me to stop. Please, please don’t just stay silent and think you have to continue. I’m not that guy… If I think you’re suffering to please me, that’s gonna fucking destroy me. Okay?”
She nodded slowly, her fingers twitching on the robe, like she didn’t know what to do next.
“Want me to tell you what I’d like to do?”
Her head jerked in a sharp nod, and her bottom lip trembled. Fuck me. How the hell could I do this, and be sure she wanted it?
“I’d like to kiss you some more. Just kiss. Is that okay?”
Some of the tension drained from her posture, and she nodded, reaching for me as I raised up from sitting on my feet to kneeling as tall as I could.
“Just relax, Caroline. You have all the power here.” I cupped her face, and leaned closer, pressing my lips gently against hers. To feel even more of the tension leave her, as I kissed her softly, took a little of the fear out of me too, because she was responding. She was returning my kiss, and that made me feel like we were on more even footing. I wasn’t a ‘needs to be in control’ kinda guy. I loved the push and pull, the woman takingwhat she wants, as much as she gives me what I need too. Reciprocation. That’s the dream. We both want it, and we both want to give and take at the same time.
As the kiss deepened, Caroline tentatively pressed her palms against my chest, and a simple touch shouldn’t kick a guy in the balls the way that did, but it made me feel things I never expected to feel. Strong things. Like this moment was so much more than I’d imagined.
