He drags his hand down his beard, his eyes never leaving mine. “I’m just saying, if this were working with you two, you’d have more to say about him thanhe’s not that bad.”
“Yeah, well, good thing you’re here for business advice, not to help me with my dating life.”
His jaw flexes. “Five years is a long time. Why no wedding if it’s so great? You always wanted to be a bride.”
Alrighty… clearly this is going sideways.
“You don’t know me anymore, Tex. Who I was at twenty-two isn’t the same person I am now. Now, I don’t think aboutweddings…ever.I love simplicity, and weddings are insanely complicated.”
He looks toward me and nods like a man who’s seeing straight through my bullshit. Granted, I’m not doing very well at hiding it. Mostly because I’m tired. Tired of pretending I’m not falling apart. Tired of pretending I understand Richard’s behavior. Tired of everything.
I push my palm down over my face and bite back tears that threaten to flow. God, I don’t want to do this.I really don’t want to do this.
“Hey,” Tex lands his hand on my back, the calloused palms snagging the fabric of my dress, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kept pushing. I don’t want to see you cry.”
I bite back the tears for another second, trying desperately to make sense of why I’m such a mess, why I can’t make a decision, why I accept the way Richard treats me, but the thoughts only make me cry harder, and soon I’m a blubbering mess in the center of the bookstore.
“God,” I sniffle and reach for a tissue from the box in front of me, “something tells me your other clients are much more professional.”
“Less entertaining though,” he says, voice deep, warm, and comforting. “Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “That’s the thing. I’m just so overwhelmed. Richard, the bookstore, disappointing Grandpa Milton, disappointing myself, Christmas, New Year,you.” I stare at him, tears streaking down my face. “I’m just lost.”
Tex leans into me, his gaze focused on mine as though he really gives a shit about what I’m saying. “Life is hard. Relationships are hard. Owning a business is hard. You’re not failing. It might feel like that right now, but what I see is a girl who’s pouring her whole self into everything all at once withouttaking anything for herself.” He moves his hand over my back, warm and steady. “Honey, you’ve got to take something for you.”
God, why does it feel so good to be heard?Am I this desperate? Have things gotten this bad? Am I this oblivious to how terrible my relationship is that I crumble the second a kind man shows me any sort of affection?
“You keep calling me honey.”
“Yeah, well… you’re still the sweetest thing around. Tough too.”
“Yeah,” I laugh, blowing my nose, “super tough. So tough that I’m blatting my ass off.”
“You care, and that’s why you’re crying. That’s not weakness.”
His words settle into me, warm and unyielding.
It’s wrong. It’s wrong and I can’t lose myself into Tex. I can’t think about how his presence is a symphony for all my senses. I can’t imagine what it would feel like to bury myself against his solid chest or think about how much fun we’d have sitting out by the river tonight with a few beers. I can’t think about that because I have Richard. I have Richard and Tex probably has a girlfriend. A really lovely, smart, put together girlfriend that meets all of his needs and wears cute little outfits while not crying about what a failure she is.
“Well,” I say, desperate to end this conversation, “you’ve given me a lot to think about.”
“Yeah.” He clears his throat. “Of course. I’ll talk to Mrs. Robinson about that lot across the street, see what she thinks about maybe selling it, and we’ll go from there.”
“I don’t know, Tex.” I shrug. “I really don’t have the money to buy it.”
“You don’t need the money to buy it, honey. I know investors everywhere. Someone’s always looking to opensomething. We’ll figure all this out. Don’t worry too much, okay?”
This is the kind of guy Tex is. The kind that sees a problem and offers to fix it.
“Wait, what about your payment? We didn’t discuss any of that.”
He smiles, lifting that sexy beard, then nods. “My payment will be seeing this place flourish again.”
“That’s not enough. No favors, remember?”
“Okay,” he shrugs and winks once before turning toward the door, “no favors. I’ll figure a payment plan tonight.”
I nod and wave goodbye, but the way he just said ‘payment plan’has my thighs squeezing together in ways that they absolutely shouldn’t be, and that’s going to be a problem.
