“Oh, have you finally quit?” Sienna asks, and when I look over my shoulder, I notice she’s peering into the trash where a half-full pack of cigarettes sits on top.
I lift a shoulder, as if it's no big deal. “It was never my thing anyway, was it? Only on drunk nights, I suppose.”
They don’t say anything, but I can tell the energy in the room shifts slightly. It's not judgment I'm sensing from them, but maybe relief. Not because of me kicking the habit, but because of how much I’ve changed. Now, it feels like I'm seeing light at the other end of the tunnel.
“So, what were you talking about before I got here? You know I want to hear all the Dante gossip. He’s hot.”
“He’s arrogant and rude,” I say as I place their teas in front of them. Sienna's jaw drops, and Elanee is smirking as she blows on her tea. “And, yeah, I guess he’s hot,” I quickly add. “But, no, we weren’t discussing Dante.” As much as that will ruin his day to hear, because that asshole definitely only wants me to be thinking about him all the time.
I release a shaky breath, ready to ask Sienna for her help with my plan. “I have an idea for my upcoming collection. I don’t have much time, and I’ll be cutting it close, but I was hoping that, maybe, if you have the time, you two could help me?”
“Yes, anything. What do you need?” Sienna offers, and I’m certain she’s appreciative of the distraction. I understand it too well, and when she’s ready to talk about it, I’ll be here for her.
“I want to publish Lorraine’s books and incorporate them into my collection. The money we raise from the books will go toward depression awareness for women and facilitating a safe space for them to receive the support they need.”
“I absolutely love the sound of this, but won’t you have issues with her mother? If she’s already come at you once, won’t she do it again? Maybe try and sue you or something? She’sbeen making ugly accusations. Don’t you think this will make it worse?”
It’s not surprising that she knows about Meredith's claims, especially the most recent one, and I hate having to account for it. It saddens me to know that Lorraine's mother has only ever used her for money, twisting and manipulating stories to get her own way. But I've already considered it in great detail.
“I have thought about that, and I’m going to speak with my mother and her lawyers. Meredith only wants money. She’s always been like this. Besides getting a restraining order so I never have to deal with her again, I’ll make her aware of the manuscripts.
"I overheard Lorraine on the phone with her once, talking about one of her stories, and her mother told her she was an idiot for having such a bold dream. I figured if her mother is aware that we’re wanting to claim the manuscripts to use in whatever form we see fit, and we pay her off for them, she’ll never bother us again.”
“Do you think she’d be okay with that?” Elanee asks cautiously.
I let out a deep breath. “Yeah, I do. At least, I hope so. As I said, I think she only wants money, and I have plenty of it. I don’t want to give her a dime, but if I have to pay her off to make this a reality, then I'll do it. I want Lorraine’s books to be published. I think she’d approve of where the funds are going and how it might help other women.”
It kills me to even consider giving Meredith money, but I need to not have her looming over my shoulder for the rest of my life. Because I have to move on, and I can't do that if she's hanging around in the background, waiting to pounce.
I have the money from Lorraine's rent payments in that account I set up, which I always anticipated using when Lorraine was ready to publish on her own. It saddens me to know that shewon’t be here to see it, but I hope that if heaven exists, that she's looking down at me and that she's proud.
And as nervous about it as I am, because pulling this off in such a short amount of time will be a miracle, I’m certain with my friends backing me up, it’s far from impossible.
Dante is a meddling asshole, but sometimes I think he knows what I need before I realize it myself. He knew I needed to stop fighting this battle on my own and accept others' help. I’ll never admit to him that he’s right or that I’m grateful, because that simply wouldn’t be on brand for me. And I’m still furious about him getting into my phone and doing God knows what besides messing with my Instagram account. So maybe I’ll only chop one of his balls off instead of both of them.
“Where do we begin?” Sienna asks, glancing between Elanee and me eagerly.
My heart races with excitement because after all these months, I finally feel like I have direction again.
Finally, I'm ready to take my life back with both hands and remind everyone who the fuck I am.
36
ROMI
Iroll my shoulders and stretch my neck from side to side. It’s been a productive day. With Sienna and Elanee’s help, everything has started rolling into motion, and I’ve finished the first canvas. I study it from a distance, proud of what I've created.
The oranges and golds pierce through like sunlight beneath the black. The first painting depicts Lorraine sitting in our bay window, writing in a notepad. She’d often come up here and write notes with plot ideas. There is a resounding expression of peace in her features. I think most people give off the same vibe when they’re doing what they love most.
A chill runs through me as I wonder if Dante has a similar air about him when he kills. I'm pretty sure he does, because I saw it that night at the bar when he took on Drew and his friends. He'd been emitting a sense of giddy anticipation.
I hear the apartment door open, so I quickly take a photo of the first complete piece and send it to my agent before heading downstairs. Borris is ahead of me, joyfully racing down the steps to greet Dante. When I hit the bottom step, I stop, crossing my arms over my chest. All of my earlier irritation bubbles back tothe surface, and it’s his smirk that triggers me. The fucker always knows exactly how to wind me up.
“You had no right, Dante Moretti.”
“Oooh, I do love how my name rolls off your tongue,Cattivella.”
“This isn’t a joke. Boundaries! How many times have we spoken about them?” I round the corner of the couch as he places his helmet down on the coffee table. I notice the slight limp in his gait, that sliver of guilt unfurling in me again. This entire relationship with Dante has been a wild roller coaster, and I know it will most likely always be like this.
