Sit there on opposite ends of the couch breathing harder than the kiss should warrant, staring at each other with identical expressions of what the hell just happened.
"Sorry," we say simultaneously.
Then we both almost laugh, the absurdity of dual apologies breaking some of the tension.
"I didn't mean—" I start.
"I know—" she says at the same time.
We stop. Look at each other. And despite everything—the complications, the poor judgment, the fact that we just crossed a boundary we specifically said we shouldn't cross—I can't quite regret it.
"So," Lana says finally, and her voice is steadier than I expected. "That happened."
"That definitely happened."
"Should we... talk about it? Or pretend it didn't happen? Or—" She stops, seems to realize she's as uncertain about protocol as I am.
"We should probably talk about it." I'm still close enough to touch her if I wanted to. I don't move away. Neither doesshe. "Though I'm not sure what the appropriate conversation is after accidentally kissing someone you're supposed to be professionally protecting."
"Is there a protocol for this?"
"If there is, Elias never mentioned it."
We're quiet for a moment, the apartment around us feeling both smaller and more charged than it did five minutes ago.
"I'm not sorry," Lana says finally. "I know I said sorry, but I'm actually not. I'm—" She searches for words. "Confused. Maybe concerned about judgment. Definitely aware this complicates everything. But not sorry."
"I'm not sorry either." The admission feels dangerous. "I'm very aware this is probably terrible timing and worse judgment and exactly what Elias warned me about. But I'm not sorry it happened."
"So where does that leave us?"
"Honest about being attracted to each other. Aware that acting on it right now—while you're being threatened by Ezra, while I'm supposed to be providing security—would be complicated at best and destructive at worst." I force myself to articulate what Elias would say if he were here. "But also acknowledging that pretending it didn't happen would be dishonest. And dishonesty is how Gabriel operated. I don't want to replicate that pattern."
Lana nods, processing. "So we're honest about the attraction. We acknowledge the kiss happened. We agree that escalating further right now would compromise both the security situation and my legal position." She meets my eyes. "But we're not pretending this is purely professional anymore."
"We're not pretending."
"Okay." She leans back against the couch, putting fractionally more distance between us. The loss of proximity is immediate and uncomfortable. "That feels honest. Complicated and probably inadvisable, but honest."
"Honesty is the goal." I lean back too, mirroring her retreat even though every instinct is pulling toward rather than away. "Elias said honesty is the only thing that prevents protection from becoming possession. So we're honest about attraction, honest about poor timing, honest about the fact that we just kissed and neither of us regrets it even though we probably should."
"And then what? We just... exist in this space of acknowledged attraction without acting on it further?"
"Until the legal situation resolves. Until Ezra's threat is neutralized and you're not dependent on my protection for survival." I hold her gaze. "Then we can revisit whether this is something worth pursuing or whether it was just proximity and adrenaline making bad decisions feel inevitable."
She considers this, and I can see her running calculations about whether the timing makes sense or whether we're just rationalizing something we both want but shouldn't have.
"Okay," she says finally. "We wait." She pulls her knees back up in that protective position. "But Jax? I'm terrible at waiting. And I'm worse at denying things I actually want just because the timing is complicated."
"I'm aware. I've been watching you for three weeks, remember?"
"Right. The surveillance." She almost smiles. "Which we should probably discuss at some point. The ethics of you watching me for weeks and then kissing me in my living room."
"That's a fair point."
"But not today. Today I need to process everything Mira said about legal strategy and prepare for the possibility that Ezra will drag every detail of my marriage through discovery." She unfolds again, stands, creating more physical distance.
I check my phone. 11:34 AM. Three and a half hours until I need to be at Lucien's office.
