"I never betrayed you." Her eyes search mine. "I swear on Anya's life—on everything I love—I never betrayed you."
The oath hits different than all her previous denials. Because swearing on Anya means something. That girl is the only thing Kira actually loves.
"Then who did?" The question I've been avoiding. "If not you, then who sold me out?"
"I don't know." Frustration bleeds through her tears.
"That doesn't make you innocent," I say, but the conviction is weaker.
"It makes me a victim." Her voice softens. "Like you. We're both victims of whatever someone orchestrated."
"I can't—" I don't finish. Can't admit that I'm starting to believe her.
"Can't what? Can't admit you might be wrong?" She's watching my face. "Or can't admit you still love me?"
The question hangs between us like a live grenade.
"I don't love you." The lie tastes bitter.
"Liar." She tilts her head up, her eyes searching mind. "You hate me and love me. Just like I hate you and love you. We're trapped in this thing neither of us wanted."
"I hate what you did to me." My hands tighten on her wrists.
"I hate what you think I did." Her voice breaks. "And I hate that nothing I say will convince you otherwise."
We stand there at an impasse. The past and present colliding in the space between us.
Then somehow—I don't know who moves first—we're kissing.
It's not gentle like it used to be. Not sweet or tender. It's fury and pain and violent.
Her hands are in my hair tugging hard. My hands release her wrists and drop to her waist. We're trying to hurt each other or heal each other or maybe both simultaneously.
When we finally break apart, we're both breathing hard.
"This doesn't change anything," I lie.
"I know." She touches my face, tracing the scar through my eyebrow. "But for just this moment, can we pretend it does?"
I should say no. Should push her away and stick to my plan.
Instead, I kiss her again.
Because apparently, some things survive even six years of torture and hatred.
Some things refuse to die no matter how much you want them to.
Like love.
Damnit.
Chapter Fifteen
Kira
"Kira." My name on his lips sends shivers running down my spine.
"Don't talk." I pull him closer. "Just—don't."
