"And then I told her I hated her. That I was going to destroy her. That everything between us was just unfinished business." I press my forehead against the cold glass. "I'm turning her organization against her. Taking her people one by one. By the time she marries Roman, she'll have nothing left. And I'm doing it all while knowing it might be wrong."
"What can I do to help?" Semyon asks. "Tell me what you need."
I laugh, and it sounds broken even to my own ears. "I don't know. Maybe I should just leave. Get out of Russia. Start over somewhere that doesn't have her ghost around every corner."
"You'd never leave." His certainty is absolute. "You'd die first."
He's right. I know he's right. The thought of running makes my stomach turn. I didn't survive six years of hell just to give up now.
But I also don't know how to move forward. Don't know how to reconcile the hatred that kept me alive with the doubt that's eating me from the inside.
"Roman's pulling the investigation files tomorrow," I say. "All the evidence that pointed to her family. Maybe that will help."
"Or maybe it won't tell you what you want to hear."
I turn to face him. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means you're looking for proof of her guilt because you need her to be guilty. Because if she's innocent—" He stops, shaking his head. "If she's innocent, then you're destroying an innocent woman. The woman you love. For nothing."
"She's not innocent." But the words lack conviction even as I say them.
"Are you sure?" Semyon stands. "Or are you just afraid of what it means if she is?"
I don't answer. Can't answer. Because he's right, and we both know it.
"Tell me about the kidnapping," Semyon says. "Walk me through it again. Every detail."
"Why?"
"Because maybe if we go through it together, we'll see something you missed.”
I drain my glass and start from the beginning. The text from Dmitri calling an emergency meeting. Leaving Kira's bed in the middle of the night. Her words telling me to be careful.
"Wait." Semyon holds up a hand. "She told you to be careful?"
"Yes."
"Why would she do that if she knew you were walking into a trap?"
"To make herself look innocent." But even as I say it, I hear how weak it sounds. "Or maybe she didn't know the specifics. Just knew something was going to happen."
"Or maybe she had a bad feeling and was worried about you." Semyon's watching me carefully. "Like someone who loved you might do."
I shake my head, rejecting the implication. "Dmitri was executed days after my disappearance. That's not a coincidence."
"No, it's not." Semyon nods slowly. "So maybe Dmitri was involved. Maybe he set you up. And maybe whoever killed him was covering their tracks."
"Or Kira had him killed to eliminate a witness."
"Did she have that kind of power back then?" The question is pointed. "You knew her, Maksim. Could the eighteen-year-old girl you loved have orchestrated a kidnapping, a murder,anda cover-up? That’s impressive."
I want to say yes. Want to insist she's capable of anything.
But the truth is, I don't know. The Kira I knew was fierce and intelligent, but she wasn't ruthless. Wasn't cold. That came later—after I was gone.
"I don't know what to believe anymore," I admit. The words feel like defeat. "Six years of certainty, and now I'm second-guessing everything."
"That's not weakness." Semyon puts a hand on my shoulder. "That's growth. That's being willing to question your assumptions instead of blindly following them."
