I count backward, and ice floods my veins.
Six weeks. Maybe seven.
The timing coincides perfectly with the first time we were together at the engagement party.
No. No, this can't be happening.
Except my body is telling me it is. The exhaustion. The nausea. The missed period. The way my breasts are tender, and my emotions are all over the place.
I'm pregnant.
The realization makes my legs weak. I sink onto the toilet lid, head in my hands, trying to process this.
Pregnant. With Maksim's child. In the middle of a war that could get us all killed.
"Kira?" Anya's voice outside the door. "You okay? You've been in there a while."
"Fine." My voice sounds strangled. "Just—give me a minute."
I need to be sure. Need confirmation before I tell anyone. Before this becomes real.
Now, I have to figure out a way to leave the apartment.
I open the bathroom door and find Anya sketching at the small table. She looks up, her eyes immediately narrowing.
"You look pale."
"I'm fine." I move past her toward the bedroom where I left my borrowed clothes. "Just tired."
"You're always tired lately." She sets down her pencil. "Maybe you should ask Semyon to check you out. Make sure nothing's infected or—"
"I'm fine," I repeat, pulling on jeans and a hoodie. "I just need some air."
"We can't go outside."
"I know." I find a baseball cap in the closet and tuck my hair up under it. "But I need to run to the pharmacy. Just down the block. Ten minutes, tops."
Anya stands, alarm crossing her face. "Kira, no. That's too dangerous. Roman's men could be anywhere."
"They're looking for a woman with long dark hair, not someone in a hoodie and cap." I'm already moving, checking my reflection in the small mirror by the door. I look different enough. Masculine enough with my hair hidden. "I'll be careful."
"What do you need from a pharmacy that badly?" She's following me now, her voice rising. "Kira, this is crazy. If Maksim knew—"
"Maksim is downstairs with Semyon meeting with people. He won't know unless you tell him." I turn to face her, keeping my voice low. "Anya, please. I need to do this. I need... I just need something from the pharmacy, okay?"
Her eyes search mine, and I see the moment understanding dawns. Her face goes soft with shock.
"Oh," she breathes. "Oh, Kira."
"Don't." I hold up a hand. "Not yet. Not until I'm sure."
"You think you're—"
"I don't know what I think." I pull the cap lower. "That's why I need to go to the pharmacy. To know for certain."
She stares at me with indecision. Then she crosses to the kitchen drawer and pulls out a small handgun.
"Take this."
