I shake his hand with a firm grip that seals whatever this strange pact is that I don't quite understand. This is what Sloane was trying to explain about community. It's not at all like the oath I took the day I agreed to be loyal to the Ferraros, and in that aspect, I'm glad. These men seem like brothers, ones I can trust.
"I'll make this right," I say. "Whatever happens, I'll make sure Cal pays for what he's done to Wade."
"I know you will. That's why we're backing you." Travis releases my hand and jerks his chin toward the door. "Now get out of here before someone sees you."
The bells chime as I exit, and I'm back in the cold afternoon air and this time, the trek across town isn't quite as cold. The sun is higher, but it's knowing someone has my back that really warms me.
Even if the men of this town are binding together to avenge Wade Carver, they're doing so with faith that I can lead them. And I won't fail them.
Cal Maddox has fucked with the wrong people, and I'm going to make sure he understands that the very next time I see him.
24
SLOANE
As soon as Dane left, I knew I wasn't going to just sit around doing nothing. Those men are out there waiting and I'm desperate to know what they’re doing and where they are. So I rifled under Ellie's bathroom cabinet and found some old Halloween hair dye and splashed it on my hair. It's temporary, so it'll wash out in a few weeks, but that, along with a quick trim to give myself bangs and shorter hair, means I can hopefully pass as someone else for a while.
I leave a note for Dane on the kitchen counter in case he gets back before me, then I slip out the back door before I can second-guess the decision. He'll be furious when he gets back and finds me gone, but I can't sit in that house anymore, letting fear dictate every move. And if we're going to make it out of this, we'll need help. Maybe I'll be able to recruit some others who'll stand beside us when Maddox decides to make his move.
The air is crisp, biting my skin as my feet crunch the snow. I borrowed a coat from Ellie's closet that's a little girly for my taste, but it hugs my hips and thighs too, which is nice, given the stiff breeze. The town square is only a few blocks from her place,and at least the buildings block the wind so it doesn't steal what little warmth is left in my bones. I don't think I've even fully warmed up after my night on the mountain with Dane.
The Christmas shop is set up in the town square where every shop's windows are decorated with fake snow and twinkling lights. Small carts and booths with thick canvas sides to block the wind are set up and locals browse handmade ornaments, knitted scarves, carved wooden figurines. It's aggressively festive and I love it. Though it's no New York City. Nostalgia hits hard when I pass the towering twelve-foot tree, and I feel sadness pinch my chest. I miss my city and my traditions.
I keep my head down, hood up, as I weave through the crowded space trying to blend in. If there are men associated with Cal Maddox here, I don't see them. Of course, just like I've changed my appearance to blend in, they could have too. It doesn't make my job easier, given that I don't know what any of them actually look like and other than Ellie and a few other women I met at the Halloween bash, I'm not sure who is local and who isn't.
I'm beginning to regret this choice to come out and get the lay of the land when I spot a booth set up with hunting and fishing items. Since I'm out, I may as well pick up something for Dane. He's put up with me enough that he deserves it, and the idea of seeing him reluctant to accept a gift from me makes me smile.
I browse the knife display near the back, running my fingers over handles carved from the bones of animals. Dane needs a good hunting knife. His current one works, but it's worn. So I settle on analyzing every knife on this table until I find one that catches my eye, a fixed-blade knife with a leather-wrapped handle, balanced for both utility and throwing. But what makes it special is the hollow handle that unscrews to reveal a compact survival kit stowed inside.
It's practical and thoughtful and exactly the kind of thing he'd appreciate and probably use. I peg Dane as a very pragmatic man who can appreciate gifts he can use, not fancy sweaters or expensive trinkets. So I buy it for the price of forty dollars and pay the woman running the stand with the little cash I had tucked into my clutch the night Cal's men drugged me and brought me here.
As she rings it up, I find myself watching people pass by the booth, happily doing some Christmas shopping in the frigid air. This place is so unlike the city, I could almost enjoy it if not for the lack of convenience. There isn't a single fast-food restaurant around, and if I need a pharmacy, I have to go into the nearest town outside Sutter's Gap, which is a thirty-mile trek. But this place is so friendly, it almost makes up for it.
Dane asked me to stay here after all of this is said and done and I'm safe, and I'm not sure what to do with that. I'm never going to convince him to go back to New York. Even if he could live an isolated life and blend in, the city holds too many memories for him. He came here to forget things, not just vanish, and I've seen the torment he's been going through as Cal's little packages have reminded Dane about his past.
"You're all set, hon." The woman hands me the knife in a plastic sack with a smile. "For Mr. Strouse? He's sure lucky…" She winks at me, and I get the feeling she knows I'm not really his sister, which is probably thanks to Ellie. But I don't give anything away.
"I'm the lucky one." Despite the danger and fear I've lived in the past few months, I'm lucky to have found him. I'm just not sure how we'll ever have a future. It's up to me to rethink my whole life and conform to him, and I'm not ready to give up my dreams.
I tuck the package under my arm and head back into the crowded square, pulling my hood back up. The street is busier now as folks get off work and filter into the narrow walkways between booths. I blend into the foot traffic, and my guard is down now. I've finally been able to shake off the tension and start enjoying the feeling of Christmas spirit swelling up in my chest.
I see earrings Erin would love and some hiking boots that would be perfect for my frigid toes. I realize I'm thinking about equipping myself for mountain life and the thought makes me smile. Maybe I could fit in here if not for my job as a trauma nurse and how much I enjoy helping people. Then I see Ellie across the square and wave at her as she passes out hot cocoa in front of the diner. As I turn a corner, hoping to peruse the last few booths, a hand grips my arm, spinning me around.
My heart slams into my ribs as I brace myself, thinking I'll see Dane's angry eyes and hear a lecture about taking risks. Instead, I'm staring up into the burly face of a man six inches taller than Dane and twice as wide. His grip on my arm hurts and he's glaring at me.
"Where is he?"
"I don't know what you're?—"
"Barrett. Where is he?" His grip tightens and I wince. "Tell me and this goes easier for you."
"I don't know," I whimper as my eyes flick around and I see where I'm actually standing. Booths on every side mean no one can see me. I start to whimper, but he clamps a hand over my face and curses, yanking me toward the alley beside the shop.
I dig my heels in, screaming into his palm, and people are turning now, watching, a few starting to move toward us. But the man is strong, dragging me despite my resistance. I fight like hell, flailing about and kicking him, and when I remember the knife dangling from my wrist in the thin plastic bag, my mind clears.
I stop fighting him long enough to grip the outside of the bag hard and the handle harder. The plastic tears as I unsheathe the knife and rear back, preparing to defend myself.
"You little bitch," he growls, now grabbing the back of my neck, and I slam the knife down hard, driving it into his thigh. It takes a surprising amount of pressure to stab him, but it works. "Fuck!"
