As we finish the food, I look outside the window and it’s pitch black, the only visible light coming from the moon. The stars are plastered over the sky and I could easily see the constellation of a tulip. My fingers brushed over my golden necklace as I remember the last time I talked about it with Ector.
“Are you okay?” Illysia’s voice echoes from behind as Daffodil strokes her fur against my leg.
“Yes. I just got lost in some thoughts and daydreaming.” I said, and it couldn’t count as a lie because all I wanted was to hear his laugh again.
I needed to feel him by my side again, feel the warmth of his soul. I wanted to wrap my arms around his waist and hold him tight, close to me. I wanted to feel the way his cologne would follow him every time he moved.
“We should get some sleep.” Illysia suggests, and I agree.
My dreams have only held memories of my past loved ones. And even though it’s hard waking up after such dreams, having to face reality, it’s worth it if I get to spend a few moments with them.
With a heavy heart, I let my feet take steps towards the green puffy bed that my auburn-haired new best friend is sitting on, legs crossed and putting up her full hair into a bun, the blanket covering her bare chest.
“Can I tell you something?”
“Mhm!” The sound leaves her mouth as she holds the hair tie between her teeth.
“The blood on my dress, it’s from a guy I really liked.” I pause, and she looks at me with worry in her eyes.
“I’m not the one who killed him!” I reassured her as a scared expression appeared on her now pale face. “His father did. He stabbed him with this dagger and he died in my arms. I was supposed to go on this journey with him.” I continue as a tear falls from the corner of my eye.
“Oh.”
“I wasn’t ready to tell you before.”
“When did it happen?”
“Just a few hours, or maybe days before you found me. I’m not entirely sure, I kind of blacked out. I remember that I slept beside his dead body.” My mouth wobbles.
“Oh,sweetheart.”
Hearing her calling me the same nickname that Ector called me made me break. My hands fly to my face as I hystericallybegin crying, not being able to breathe properly. “I miss him so much.” I manage to say between my deep sobs.
“It’s okay. Shhh.” She comforts me as I lie in her lap and cry my eyes out, just as my mother used to let me do. She would stroke my shoulder, drag her fingers through my hair and hug me for hours and hours until I felt better.
Illysia brings me back to those moments, those moments where I felt the most comfortable to let out my feelings. And this time, I do not only cry because of Ector, but because of my sister too.
I haven’t been able to process her death, I’ve shut it out in hope that she would come back home one day, even though she never did. But in this moment, it was okay to feel, so I let it all out.
Chapter 37
Genevieve
Waking up the next morning, I don’t even remember falling asleep at all. I remember the crying, hyperventilating, and shaking, but I do not recall the moment my eyes fell shut.
Stretching my body, it's easy to realize that I got a good night's sleep. And even though I can feel how swollen my eyes are as my palm sweeps over my face, I feel rested.
Looking to my side, Illysia is still in the middle of her deep sleep and snoring like an adorable pig. I can't help but to laugh a little to myself as the sound leaves her mouth with every breath.
Beside her lies Daffodil, and it makes me joyful seeing how close they are growing to be, to see the two bonding with each other. And the way they communicate and bring calmness to one another.
Looking out the window, it doesn't take long until the sun moves into an angle which makes a ray blind my eyes. And for a split second, I could promise that I saw a manly shadow in the light. But as I wipe my eyes, trying to readjust to the light, the shadow is no longer there.
It was clear now, I was going insane. I was starting to see things that weren't there. But it would be a lie if I said that I didn't feel even the slightest hope when I saw the shadow, thinking it was Ector who was standing right before my eyes.
My soul was longing for him on a deeper level than I could even understand myself. It was my subconscious that was trying to tell me something, but what was it? Why did I feel like something was missing without him by my side even though I barely got to know him.
But youdidget to know him.The voice in my head speaks as the moment of him showing me his scarred back replays itself. He showed me his insecurities and was brave enough to let me know about his greatest weakness. And there was something so intimately in that, to be able to show yourself so naked yet having clothes on.
