The magic well.
Turning around with my head looking over my shoulder, a smirk plastered on my lips as I placed the map in my pocket. I notice a girl coming towards me, one with soft facial features that I’ve only seen on one fairy before, and her long curly hair flowing around her beautiful face.
What I didn’t expect was for her sweet voice to start speaking, letting out words for only me to hear. It felt utterly surreal as she finally stood, close enough to touch, right before me. The girl I’ve adored for so many years.
She looked like an angel that had been sent from above. So it came to my surprise when I acted in such an odd, cold way towards her.
—
“Here sweetheart, enjoy.” I let the nickname fall out knowing it will irritate her.
Giving her the book felt wrong and a heavy lump was growing in my stomach, knowing that I ripped out the most important part of it before she approached me.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell her, my mouth wouldn’t let her know the truth. And I couldn’t take the risk of her telling Caspian that I destroyed one of his oldest books. Because that’s what I had done, I had destroyed it. And who knew how many of them were left?
It didn’t go unnoticed that she doesn’t have a clue of who I am, which isn’t surprising since I mostly stay in the shadows. I don’t fly around talking, smiling, say hi nor fucking wave to anyone. I prefer to spend my time hiding inside my dark home by myself.
But if I do have to go to the village, for some unknown reason,
walking is my only option since my wings are long fucking gone. That’s how life has been for me and will continue to be unless I manage to find this damn well so I can wish for new ones.
I crave flying around. I yearn for the feeling of the wind in my hair, the uncontrollable smile it brought, and the feeling of freedom and being far, far away from my father. I must feel those things again.
“Thank you.”
“What?” Her voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
“For giving me the book, I mean. That was very kind of you. I miss her so much.”
“Who are we talking about?”
“Oh. You don’t know? My sister passed almost a year ago, and I know that this book may just be a silly old myth, but if the saying is true, I might see her again. It’s hard without having her here by my side,” a long breath leaves her before she manages to continue, “I think about her every single day.”
The way her eyes can barely bring themselves to look at me as they fill with tears makes my throat burn. If it’s something I know, it’s the feeling of loss, feeling helpless and blaming yourself in any possible way.
Fuck.
I didn’t know that.
“Well, you’re welcome.” The words come out awkwardly as I'm suddenly reminded of the heaviness that loss brings, how it can make you go insane.
“I mean it, it means a lot to me, so thank you.”
If she could only stop looking at me with those damn doe eyes before I lose myself in them, this situation would be handled a lot better.
“Of course. Bye.” I answer her with a wave of remorse washing over me, my body in desperate need to remove itself from the situation.
Does she really need to be that sweet and adorable? I can’t afford some stupid love story right now, that's the last thing I need in my shitty life.
Unfortunately, I’ve had an eye on this girl for a very long time. Talking to her, I’ll have to pretend that I don't know anything about her, even though that’s not the truth, not at all. Which makes me question how long it will take before my nonchalant mask slips.
My feet take fast steps towards the exit, and for a moment, I forget how to breathe. My stomach twists as embarrassment takes over every single vein in my body.
Suddenly I felt stuck in my own body, left with no escape. My clothes were clinging to me in the most uncomfortable way, itching around my neck and the disappointment crashes over me faster than I could blink.
And it was only disappointment in myself. Because why did I act like this? I finally had the chance to talk to her but instead, I felt the need to hide, to disappear.
I let my nonchalant facade build itself up like a brick wall, hiding every single vulnerable piece of me to keep my inner child safe. But it only made me seem distant, cold and uninterested. But interested was all I was.
