My body paces around, eyes in deep search for dry sticks and leaves that can be used for the fire.
“I’m gonna go a bit further down the hill and see if I can find some more wood.”
“No! Please don’t leave me here all alone.” She pleads, grabbing my arm. “I haven’t told you because I feel ashamed, but I’m truly terrified of the dark.” Her voice is barely above a whisper.
“We need something to keep us warm.”
“I can keep you warm.” She pleads, her cheeks turning rosy as she realizes what she just said.
Doubting her statement, I give in and trust her with her proposal. A fire would have been better, it would’ve kept danger away.
Or attracted it.
We move into the circle of trees with her hand glued to my bicep as I feel her body shaking with anxiety. I sit down with my back leaning against the tree, and Genevieve puts her head in my lap.
“Are you not going to sleep?” She yawns.
“I won’t be able to sleep knowing that danger might find us.” I pause, hesitating to speak the following words. “I can’t let anything happen to you.”
Her only answer is to snuggle closer to me, her head in my lap and her arm around my legs.
“Are you still awake?” I ask her after a few quiet seconds pass.
Reaching for her back, trying my best not to make any rapid movements, I grab the lilac journal and the pink feather pen out of her bag. If writing down her thoughts helps her, maybe it would help me too.
Flipping through the white pages, I make sure not to read the page she wrote earlier, instead I choose to start writing on one of the last ones. Hopefully something she won’t notice for a long time.
Thinking to myself, it doesn’t take long before I press the pen against the paper.
——————————————————————————————
I don't understand what's happening to me. For as long as I can remember I haven't cared. I haven't cared for others, and absolutely not for myself.
I've always felt best hiding in the shadows and not having anyone disturbing my peace, or what I thought to be peace.
It only took a few days for her to make me soften up. For me to find one lost puzzle piece after another. Pieces of myself that I thought would've been lost forever, parts of me that had been mourned along my mother’s death.
I never thought that there would be a life to live after her brutal death, but there was, and Genevieve was in it. She is in it, and she's spreading light around me in a way I never thought anyone would ever be able to.
She isn't my savior, but she is an angel that has been sent for me to be able tosave myself.
I think I’m starting to lo-
——————————————————————————————
The sharp snap of a branch steals my attention, leading me to put the book aside. I take a steady hold around Genevieve. Trying not to wake her from her deep slumber, I gently place her beside me.
Standing up and looking over my shoulder, I deeply hesitate to leave her behind, but I have no choice.
Rushing outside to see what caused the sound, my body gets slammed to the ground without warning. As my eyes meet the ones of the heavy person lying on top of me, my face loses its color, and my heart sinks to my stomach.
“Father?” The terrified word leaves my mouth as I feel myself shrinking into the small boy I once was.
“We meet again, you ugly piece of shit.” He spits in my face and I feel the saliva running down my cheek.
With my body frozen in shock, everything suddenly feels hopeless. I thought I escaped him the day I managed to flee from home.
“I can’t believe I’ve received the chance to end your life just as I did to your mother.” He smiles as he lifts the same old silver dagger above his head.
