With a final adjustment, I slip the small leaf-green and golden bag over my shoulder, feeling more than ready to start the day.
“Bye, Mom.” I shout as my hand pushes the wooden door open.
“Genevieve, wait, where are you going?”
A wave of uncertainty washes over me as I dwell on if I should tell her the full truth or just a part of it.
“I’m just going to the library, I’ll be back later. Bye, I love you.”
Sometimes I feel vicious, shitty, and rude towards her, knowing she’s fearful that something horrible is going to happen to me just as it did to Esme.
She’s paranoid, and I understand her, she has all the right in the world to be. Having already lost one daughter, there’s no need for her to lose her second one too. But I can’t sit inside our little house and do nothing for the rest of my life. And I know that’s not her deepest wish either.
I already hold a persona of shyness, staying inside and closing off the world around me more than I have already done wouldn’t be good for me, for anyone. There are days where I have to force myself to step outside and meet the sun. To meet with other fairies even though I would rather not to.
As I exited the front door, the warmth from the bright sun enveloped me, making a rush of hope spread through my body. And suddenly, I felt lighter. Hope was what kept me believing, kept me going.
Oh, how I love this, feeling the sun’s gentle touch on my skin, and smelling the scent of all the beautiful flowers.
My favorite flower is tulips. If I was a flower instead of a fairy, I could only see myself as a pink tulip, even having a beautiful love-spell pink and gilded gold tulip necklace around my neck.
Spreading my wings, I let the wind grab and guide me in the air. On my way to the library, I fly by a lot of the other fairies, greeting them politely as I always do.
Our little village is full of big willow trees, bright colored moss and flowers. But the best part is all the animals, they’re adorable, truly, and all I want is to pet and take care of them all.
It’s impossible to ignore them when their eyes are filled with so much love and gentleness.
“Oh my goddess, is that a baby fawn?” I gasp out loud as I see something moving behind a few tree stems further away.
Genevieve, focus, please. You have one job today, go to the library, get the book, and take the map.
You can do it!I tell myself, feeling way more terrified than I’d like to admit.
Who am I trying to fool? This is not like me. I’m not the girl who does stuff like this, steals books with magic maps to go on scary adventures. I just fly around and smell the flowers, pet the animals, and make sure everyone is smiling.
At least that’s who I was before Esme passed. I haven’t been the same since then.
Arriving at the library, Caspian is the first to greet me with his big and generous smile. “Hi Genevieve, welcome home.”
Caspian has worked at the library for as long as I can remember. Today he’s wearing moss-green dungarees and a white loose t-shirt. His moon-white hair is all over the place, as usual, and his big pointy elf ears are sticking right through the thin strands.
The best part of his appearance is his small round silver glasses that sit crooked over his big nose.
It’s impossible not to like, evenlovehim, when he has the kindest soul and the most innocent, silly jokes.
I’m almost always at the library, making it my favorite place, my second home. I love books and I read all the time, mainly to escape reality, and even my own thoughts sometimes.
”Can I help you with anything today, my lovely child?” His voice spoke, and the unstable wobble made me realize that he was really getting older.
I can’t lose him too.
“Not today, Caspian, I’m just going to look through the dusty old shelves and see if I can find something that will grab my attention.” I answer him with a small smile plastered on my lips, feeling awful. How could I lie to him like this?
“Okay, you know where to find me if you need anything.” He says and stokes my shoulder gently. “And I can not forget to tell you, I will receive some new books in a few days. I would love for you to look through them with me before I put anything out on the shelves.” He finishes off his sentence with a giggle before walking back to his dark wooden desk.
This ancient building has been kept well. The walls, painted a creamy light beige, reminded me of whispering dunes, curving gently with a rounded form. The few doors and door frames you can find in here are bent as well, but instead of beige, they are in a deep chestnut-brown.
It’s a palette that brings stillness and mystery, making you feel drawn to look deeper into its unsolved secrets.
