“Seraphina…”
Her name rumbled out of him, in that low, soul-melting register. She felt a flutter in her belly. It was soft and liquid, and the moment she noticed it, it slicked lower. She wasn’t sure what had prompted this unexpected reaction. To extend this strange game they’d started seemed unwise. Yet she couldn’t stop herself from giving him a coy grin.
“What do you see with those blue eyes of yours, Rune?”
“I see you. I see your pain, your anger, the unfairness of it all.” It was all whispered, as if he were afraid he was saying the wrong things. “It’s you against the world, and you’re so small,so fragile, and the world is big and uncaring, like this massive, stumbling giant that’s going nowhere but tramples everything in its path. The world makes no sense, but you do. And I am terrified, Seraphina, that it will crush you, and I won’t be there. Or I will… I will be there, dumb and paralyzed, useless, stuck in my own head.” He reached up and slammed the heel of his hand into his temple. “This head that’s all messed up. What use is my strength if my mind is weak?”
“Rune…”
She wrapped her fingers around his wrist and pulled his hand away. His sleeve had rolled down, and she felt the stitches encircling his wrist, prominent and rough. The sensation sent a jolt through her. Since that day in their shared cell, when they’d faced each other for the first time and he’d allowed her to touch his face, Seraphina hadn’t felt his skin against hers. Its warmth and unevenness fed her curiosity, which Rune sensed, because he tried to pull away. She didn’t let him, instead entwining their fingers. His hand was rigid for a moment, then she felt him yield.
She didn’t know what to say to him. Now that he’d told her what he saw when he looked at her, she didn’t know how to feel about it. Was she small? Of stature, yes. But she didn’t see herself as a small and fragile person. Compared to him? Sure. His confession made contradictory feelings battle inside her.
“I’ll ask the innkeeper’s wife to send someone up with buckets of hot water. We can both wash ourselves properly.”
She let go of his hand and took a step back. It was easier to change the subject. When Rune got serious and honest like this, Seraphina felt like the ground was about to slip from under her, and it was safer to evade. Until he did it again. He was dismantling her walls brick by brick.
Rune didn’t react. He stared at his hand as if it was different now that she’d held it.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Hm?” He seemed confused. “Oh. I just can’t believe we’re here. Together.”
“What do you mean?”
“I thought you would get two rooms. We have enough money.”
“We do,” Seraphina said. “But it’s better to spare it. We can share a room and a bed. We’ve shared a cell and a storage room. There’s no sense in getting two rooms when we should be mindful of our money.”
“But bathing? While you’re here? I don’t think I can do that.”
He sounded shy, and if she wasn’t mistaken, a bit afraid?
“Rune, do I need to remind you that I’m blind? I should be more concerned about bathing while you’re here.”
That caused a complete change in his attitude.
“I won’t look, I swear. I will sit in that corner and stare at the wall.”
He pointed at the farthest corner opposite the screen that separated the tub from the rest of the room. She shook her head and laughed. No matter how many times she’d told him not to point, it just didn’t stick.
“I’ll be back soon. Hang tight.”
Seraphina left him in a state of bewilderment, but she couldn’t think about it. She needed a few minutes to herself. She walked out of the room and headed downstairs, found the innkeeper’s wife and made her request for hot water. She went through the motions while her mind wandered to Rune and what he’d said.
Maybe he was right. It was strange to want to share a room and a bed when they didn’t have to. Sharing a prison cell hadn’t been their choice, and when they’d slept together in the chandler’s shop, it had been about surviving the cold. Now, they had plenty of gulden for two rooms. Still, she wanted to be with him.
Seraphina had gotten used to Rune.
As she went back to their room, she thought about his hand in hers. She was beginning to make an obsession with his hands. What would it be like to feel them on her face, her neck… Lower?
She found him standing exactly where she’d left him
“We should go to the common room to eat,” she said. “The meal is ready, and the water will take time to heat.”
Her voice startled him. He’d been lost in thought, and she’d brought him back to the present. His inconsistent behavior today was starting to become concerning to her. He was out of his depth, and she wasn’t helping, though she was doing her best.
Rune followed her out without a word, and they made their way back downstairs. Seraphina found a table tucked in a corner, away from the main flow of traffic but close enough to hear the conversations around them. They sat, and within minutes a young serving girl brought their food.
